[AntiKev]

As a preface to this post, I'm going to say a little about myself. I'm a 17 year old male, in grade 12. I'm living in a Canadian border town of about 250 to 300 thousand people. I live with my dad, my sister with my mom. I am a member of my local Air Cadet squadron (similar to the Civil Air Patrol, except we are *officially* a civilian organization, if you want to know more PM me) through which I achieved both my Glider Pilot and Private Pilot licenses.

Before I talk about this particular group at school, let me start by saying that my school is considered the "brainy" school in the city. We have the only "enriched" or "gifted" program in the city and I take "enriched" classes. The school has a disproportionately large group of Middle Eastern students, as well as a disproportionately large group of Asian students. I would guess the population at about 30% from the Middle East, 30% from the Far East, and 30% of European descent. This may help to explain my comments below.

They look identical, right down to the silhouette, the colours, the long hair, the heavy eye liner and thick makeup.

And that's the root of the problem isn't it? They look identical, they feel identical, they're fake. Of the 30% of the students at my school of "European" descent I would say a good third to half fall into this category. They cause me the most grief. I look at them and think about how they can lie to themselves like that. Of course this group also includes the requisite "jocks" who share the same sort of qualities. For anyone here who still watches mainstream media, these are the kind of people you see depicted on MTV...completely self-absorbed and oblivious to anything but themselves.

Fiddling slightly with the metal in her pierced lower lip

This is another group that I just don't get, they make up another quarter of the 30%. Why? I just don't understand the whole self-mutilation thing.

The final part of the 30% are people like me. Well, and you may call me a hypocrite for saying this, they're not like me. There is no one I know quite like me. Most of the people that I know and associate with are sheep. They go with the herd, no matter what.

A very good friend of mine has constantly egged me on to have "just one beer" (yes, I know, underage drinking...) when I'm driving. I always refuse, I've got too much to lose. Every time we're out, he asks me, "Please, just have one beer." I politely refuse the first time, but if he continues I get quite hostile, he only has his beginner's permit, but has stated that he will have "just one beer" when he gets his license. And I have said that I won't ever drive with him. I tell him to his face that he is irresponsible, but he doesn't care. And that's fine. To each his own, but I'd like to think that I have at least one thread of moral fiber left.

My friend is typical of today's teens. I am not. He follows the crowd, but says he doesn't. He dresses, acts, and all around is like them. I have bigger plans.

Sorry about the rant...but this is one of the few topics I can speak from experience on. Phew, this was by far my longest post ever on FR.

[Lil'freeper]

bookmarked

[garbanzo]

And they certainly feel no obligation to explain themselves to an adult in a shopping mall.

I feel no obligation to explain myself to adults either. How about an obligation to leave other people alone or let kids be kids?

[Cicero]

Nothing very new in teenagers hanging around together, although the degree of conformity increased after the 60s, probably. And it's even more noticeable when they are trying to be nonconformist conformists.

If some adult came up to me when I was a teenager and started asking me psychological questions, I'd have told him to get lost, too. Or, as Flannery O'Connor would have said, "None of your bidness."

[sweetliberty]

"In other words, it's game over at birth. All the hugs, music lessons, bedtime reading, homework homilies and walks through the park make no real difference in the long run."

Hogwash.

[Jeff Gordon]

ALANNA MITCHELL does not handle rejection very well.

[fightu4it]

"According to Dr. Neufeld, teens who are peer-oriented dress alike and reject contact with adults." "Their obsession with their friends and acquaintances supplants any real interest in adults to the point that they are emotionally detached even from their parents."

Like this is something new? Not!

[RosieCotton]

Hey, people are actually starting to notice this?

And yet...these are more than likely the same people who are spooked by homeschooled kids actually TALKING to adults, and even preferring their company to that of "peers" who resemble the teens in this story - THEY are the kids who TRULY socially disturbed, don't ya know.

[3catsanadog]

For thousands and thousands of years, the human has raised their children and no big deal. Kids were born, grew up and finally left the nest.

Ever since Dr. Spock, every Tom, Dick and Harry claims to be an expert on raising kids and we are hit from all directions by contradictory advice.

It's time for parents to burn the books and magazines, talk to their own parents about raising kids and listen to their own guts.

[independentmind]

In fact, they despise grownups and often shun them. They have no stake in pleasing them any more because their emotional compass has switched from their parents to their friends. They're almost impossible to nurture or teach.

And here we have the real problem with today's schools.

[independentmind]

Thanks for posting this article. Bookmarked.

[Publius6961]

BIG BUMP!

I didn't realize that there was a clinical name for this phenomenon. It has always existed to some degree, among what used to be called "losers". Now it seems to be a substantial percentage of the total.

[FITZ]

Their obsession with their friends and acquaintances supplants any real interest in adults to the point that they are emotionally detached even from their parents.

Some of this is just natural ---at age 15 or 16 kids start thinking about being adults, leaving their parents. They have to think they're rebelling but a lot of times, they're just doing exactly what they're parents are doing. How many of the parents showed by example it's very important to impress your peers --- driving cars they couldn't afford, living in upscale houses and trying to keep up or stay ahead of the neighbors?

[Just Kimberly]

Thank you for this article. It is something EVERY PARENT needs to read and understand. If you do not have control of your two year old, you will not have control of your sixteen year old. I heard James Dobson say that about 15 years ago, and began raising my children by that rule. IT IS TRUE.

Thanks for an eye opener, it needed to be brought out, The TRUTH sometimes hurts, but it has to come out.