Before I talk about this particular group at school, let me start by saying that my school is considered the "brainy" school in the city. We have the only "enriched" or "gifted" program in the city and I take "enriched" classes. The school has a disproportionately large group of Middle Eastern students, as well as a disproportionately large group of Asian students. I would guess the population at about 30% from the Middle East, 30% from the Far East, and 30% of European descent. This may help to explain my comments below.
They look identical, right down to the silhouette, the colours, the long hair, the heavy eye liner and thick makeup.
And that's the root of the problem isn't it? They look identical, they feel identical, they're fake. Of the 30% of the students at my school of "European" descent I would say a good third to half fall into this category. They cause me the most grief. I look at them and think about how they can lie to themselves like that. Of course this group also includes the requisite "jocks" who share the same sort of qualities. For anyone here who still watches mainstream media, these are the kind of people you see depicted on MTV...completely self-absorbed and oblivious to anything but themselves.
Fiddling slightly with the metal in her pierced lower lip
This is another group that I just don't get, they make up another quarter of the 30%. Why? I just don't understand the whole self-mutilation thing.
The final part of the 30% are people like me. Well, and you may call me a hypocrite for saying this, they're not like me. There is no one I know quite like me. Most of the people that I know and associate with are sheep. They go with the herd, no matter what.
A very good friend of mine has constantly egged me on to have "just one beer" (yes, I know, underage drinking...) when I'm driving. I always refuse, I've got too much to lose. Every time we're out, he asks me, "Please, just have one beer." I politely refuse the first time, but if he continues I get quite hostile, he only has his beginner's permit, but has stated that he will have "just one beer" when he gets his license. And I have said that I won't ever drive with him. I tell him to his face that he is irresponsible, but he doesn't care. And that's fine. To each his own, but I'd like to think that I have at least one thread of moral fiber left.
My friend is typical of today's teens. I am not. He follows the crowd, but says he doesn't. He dresses, acts, and all around is like them. I have bigger plans.
Sorry about the rant...but this is one of the few topics I can speak from experience on. Phew, this was by far my longest post ever on FR.
Thus has it ever been, AK - I felt the same way about my high school peers a few decades ago. Maintain that autonomy, and never let the "flock" make your choices for you!
Good for you. There was a Ziggy cartoon years ago... Ziggy is in a crowd of people all walking one direction, and he is walking the other way, saying "I wish I was a non-conformist like everybody else."
People like your friend like to think they are rebelling or expressing their individuality -- or something along those lines -- when, in fact, they are the most unimaginative, conventional, unoriginal, sheep-like people in the world, ruled only by their fear of what other people will think of them.
This is an important point. You have achieved a position of trust and responsibility that can only be obtained by following rules and procedures set by adults. It was important enough to you to gain the respect of these adults to gain skills and follow rules. Just "wanting" this is not enough. Therefore, you have come to realize the value of earning the respect of adults, whereas many of your contemporaries (I won't say peers) probably think respect should be given to them.
For me it was shooting. I wanted to shoot, and be trusted with firearms. To do this I had to demonstrate to adults that I could be trusted with them. It was vitally important to me as a boy to gain entry into the "grown up" world. I could have cared less what my "peers" thought.
God Love you! As a mother of a 19 year old, and almost 16 (the 13th of this month), I can say - your mother must be VERY proud of you. I am VERY proud of you!
I understand, as I have heard my kids talk about the same things. They stick to their guns and close to home. One is heading to the Military after college, and the other is a Firefighter. It is tough out there.
To the parents reading this, I have only one thing to say: If you do not have control of your two year old, you will not have control of your sixteen year old. You must start young, stay the course, and HANG ON!