Just a gigolo

Townhall.com ^ | January 29, 2004 | Ann Coulter

[.cnI redruM]

After the New Hampshire primary, Dennis Kucinich's new slogan is: ".001 Percent of America Can't Be Wrong!" John Edwards' new slogan is: "Vote for Me or We'll See You in Court." Joe Lieberman's new slogan is: "Sixth Place Is Not an Option." (Bumper sticker version: "Ask Me About My Delegate.") Al Sharpton's new slogan is "Hello? Room Service?" Wesley Clark's new slogan is: "Leading America's War on Fetuses." Howard Dean's new slogan is: "I Want to Be Your President ... And So Do I!"

That leaves John Kerry (new slogan: "Nous Sommes Nombre Un!"), who is winning Democratic voters in droves on the basis of his superior ability to taunt George Bush for his lack of combat experience. Like every war hero I've ever met, John Kerry seems content to spend his days bragging about his battlefield exploits. Wait, wait ... Let me correct that last sentence: like no war hero I've ever met ...

As everyone has heard approximately 1 billion times by now, Kerry boasts that he has REAL experience with aircraft carriers, and if Bush wants to run on national security, then ... BRING IT ON!

I note that when George Bush directed that precise phrase at Islamic terrorists who yearn to slaughter American women and children, liberals were enraged at the macho posturing of it. But they feel "Bring it on!" is a perfectly appropriate expression when directed at a dangerous warmonger like George Bush. ("Bring it on!" was deemed better than Kerry's first impulse, "Let's get busy, sister!")

Kerry was indisputably brave in Vietnam, and it's kind of cute to see Democrats pretend to admire military service. Physical courage, like chastity, is something liberals usually deride, but are tickled when it accidentally manifests itself in one of their own. One has to stand in awe of Kerry's military service 33 years ago. Of course, that's where it ends, including with Kerry – inasmuch as, upon his return from war in 1970, he promptly began trashing his fellow Vietnam vets by calling them genocidal murderers.

But if Bush can't talk to Kerry about the horrors of war, then Kerry sure as hell can't talk to anyone about the plight of the middle class. Kerry's life experience consists of living off other men's money by marrying their wives and daughters.

For over 30 years, Kerry's primary occupation has been stalking lonely heiresses. Not to get back to his combat experience, but Kerry sees a room full of wealthy widows as "a target-rich environment." This is a guy whose experience dealing with tax problems is based on spending his entire adult life being supported by rich women. What does a kept man know about taxes?

In 1970, Kerry married into the family of Julia Thorne – a family estimated to be worth about $300 million. She got depressed, so he promptly left her and was soon seen catting around with Hollywood starlets, mostly while the cad was still married. (Apparently, JFK really was his mentor.) Thorne is well-bred enough to say nothing ill of her Lothario ex-husband. He is, after all, the father of her children – a fact that never seemed to constrain him.

When Kerry was about to become the latest Heinz family charity, he sought to have his marriage to Thorne annulled, despite the fact that it had produced two children. It seems his second meal ticket, Teresa Heinz, wanted the first marriage annulled – and Heinz is worth more than $700 million. Kerry claims he will stand up to powerful interests, but he can't even stand up to his wife.

Heinz made Kerry sign a prenuptial agreement, presumably aware of how careless he is with other people's property, such as other people's Vietnam War medals, which Kerry threw on the ground during a 1971 anti-war demonstration.

At pains to make Kerry sound like a normal American, his campaign has described how Kerry risked everything, mortgaging his home in Boston to help pay for his presidential campaign. Technically, Kerry took out a $6 million mortgage for "his share" of "the family's home" – which was bought with the Heinz family fortune. (Why should he spend his own money? He didn't throw away his own medals.) I'm sure the average working stiff in Massachusetts can relate to a guy who borrows $6 million against his house to pay for TV ads.

Kerry's campaign has stoutly insisted that he will pay off the mortgage himself, with no help from his rich wife. Let's see: According to tax returns released by his campaign, in 2002, Kerry's income was $144,091. But as the Washington Post recently reported, even a $5 million mortgage paid back over 30 years at favorable interest rates would cost $30,389 a month – or $364,668 a year.

The Democrats' joy at nominating Kerry is perplexing. To be sure, liberals take a peculiar, wrathful pleasure in supporting pacifist military types. And Kerry's life story is not without a certain feral aggression. But if we're going to determine fitness for office based on life experience, Kerry clearly has no experience dealing with problems of typical Americans since he is a cad and a gigolo living in the lap of other men's money.

Kerry is like some character in a Balzac novel, an adventurer twirling the end of his mustache and preying on rich women. This low-born poseur with his threadbare pseudo-Brahmin family bought a political career with one rich woman's money, dumped her, and made off with another heiress to enable him to run for president. If Democrats want to talk about middle-class tax cuts, couldn't they nominate someone who hasn't been a poodle to rich women for the past 33 years?

[Judith Anne]

Do different publications run the same article under different titles? Just curious...I wouldn't have known they were the same article, just from the titles...

[KQQL]

Ann Coulter: Kerry is "Just a Gigolo"

[.cnI redruM]

Scarf that handout, Poodle Boy!!

[Arthur McGowan]

I saw Kerry last night on FOX and the other cable news channels, and his hair was shorter, his eyes unbaggy, his hollow cheeks filled out, and overall he was about 68% less craggy than ever before. He looked positively weird--weirdly painted and patted and puffy and sort of youthful. And he was grinning, which was scary, too.

BTW: He wants to kill more babies. 45 million is not enough!!!

[FormerlyAnotherLurker]

They sure don't seem to be the same.
One is written by Ann Coulter the other by Carl Limbacher.

[KQQL]

Ann Coulter: Kerry is "JUST A GIGOLO"

[KQQL]

Op/Ed - Ann Coulter

JUST A GIGOLO

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=108&ncid=742&e=9&u=/uclicktext/20040129/cm_ucac/justagigolo

[FormerlyAnotherLurker]

I commented on the question that the 2 articles were the same. The one posted in #20? is not the one in the thread.
She appeared to think so and wondered why the titles were different.

[KQQL]

O.k

[FormerlyAnotherLurker]

At least you understood.
When I looked at my post I realized I am TIRED, makes very little sense but apparently just enough! LOL - good night.

[Bonaparte]

"...weirdly painted and patted and puffy..."

Reminiscent of Gore in that 2000 debate. Oh man, I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes.

[goldstategop]

LOL! Jean F. Cheri has had very good life being taken care of by rich heiress wives. If that's not the very definition of the post-modern metrosexual, I don't know what is. That he never made it on his own terms doesn't bother liberals in the least: as long as their guy's a good-looking failure, that's all that really matters. And the NOW NAGs are happy Cheri doesn't wear the bread-winner pants in his family so he's the ultimate feminist.

[Bonaparte]

"Jean Francois Cheri, post-modern metrosexual": Your mission, Registered, should you decide to accept.

[alloysteel]

Ann is much too kind. John "F-ing" Kerry was on the cruise quite early in life, because his immediate forebearers had the bad judgment to be the "poor" side of the Clan Forbes. Denied his basic birthright, he had no options but to become a soldier of fortune, and volunteered his services to the richest superpower engaged in military operations at the time, recoiling with disbelief when he learned that such service involved swearing allegiance to the sovereignty of that country. How dare they compromise the virtue of a struggling young man, who was only trying to gain the right to live in the manner to which he wished to become accustomed?

Smarting from this disappointment, John retaliated by marrying well above his station, to an heiress with a modest fortune. Because his stud services only provided him with a limited outlet for his energies, he took up the gentlemanly arts of politicking, smooching butt into several minor elective posts, eventually landing in the Senate of the US, the same country which had treated him so badly years earlier. In the heady atmosphere of this rather exclusive club, he widened his circle of friendship to even include some members who were neither of his political party nor his gender. He made the unfortunate choice of comforting a recent widow, who happened to be incredibly more wealthy than the family of the mother of his children, only to learn that current marriages and pre-nuptial agreements tend to limit one's freedom to fully indulge the pursuit of his personal bliss. As a result, he finds himself heavily mortgaged with advancing age, and no clear strategy of how to escape the burden.

One's life, as with one's fortune, is often steered by careful selection of enemies. And the best enemies are those who may have once been friends among your peers. Unfortunately, over time, John has acquired acquaintances, but few friends of note. So it was a little hard to really get into the concept of making enemies of any of that pitiful number. As an alternative, fence-straddling, coming down solidly on both sides of an issue, permitted the illusion of being both in agreement with another, and opposing that same person on the identical policy. This strategy has the disadvantage of making one seem to be of rather ambiguous convictions, but a foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of small minds.

Perhaps this is what a part of America wants and needs. But in the bigger picture, there is no redeeming social benefit to be gained by selecting this man to be our head of state in dealing with foreign nations.

That, of course, would be dismissed as being parochial thinking, that we are all Citzens of the World, and there is no problem that cannot be resolved in discussions with reasonable men. Unfortunately, in this world, there many unreasonable men, in position to inflict great harm on others, if they are not somehow countered and stopped.

Being a gigolo is probably the least of John Kerry's faults.

[floriduh voter]

bttt

[sweetliberty]

"I think Poodle_Boy just got sheered!!!"

That desperately needs a graphic! ROTFL! Ann is great!

[Rebelbase]

Someone clue me in....The medals that Kerry threw over the White House fence were not his own medals?

[sweetliberty]

"That he never made it on his own terms doesn't bother liberals in the least: as long as their guy's a good-looking failure, that's all that really matters."

John Kerry good-looking? You have got to be either kidding or blind! That is without a doubt one of the most butt ugly men I've ever laid eyes on....painful to look at even (think male Helen Thomas). If the RATs think THAT's good-looking, they are even more pathetic than I thought.

[GigaDittos]

I'm ashamed of you all, putting up a Lurch pic before our honey.

Obligatory photo

[GigaDittos]