If you visit the South, please keep the following in mind...

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[Amelia]

22. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the water hazards. It spooks the fish and bothers the gators -and if you hit it in the rough, we have these things called diamondbacks, and they're not baseball players.

Just so you know.

[SAMWolf]

Ping

[oyez]

I told you my darlin' you looked like a gopher.
Made you so mad, you haven't spoke since.
But tell me my darling if you ain't got buck teeth.
How do you eat apples through a picket fence?

Where oh where are you tonight?
Why did you leave me here all alone?
I searched the world over and I thought I'd found true love.
But you met another and PTHHP! you was gone.

Sorry, I saw gopher and picket fence. I couldn't resist.

[snippy_about_it]

I love grits! With butter, salt and pepper or just straight.

Thanks for the ping Sam.

[WKB]

He "needed killin" is a valid defense

[SAMWolf]

Save all manner of bacon grease. If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth cooking, let alone eating.

If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.

Florida is not considered a Southern state (except Gainesville). There are far more Yankees than Southerners living there.

[tutstar]

sounds good to me...

[Scenic Sounds]

LOL. It's best to avoid hazards everywhere. ;-)

[spodefly]

14. We eat dinner together with our families ...

You're all a bunch of damn yankees!

I cannot believe that in over 100 posts no one pointed out that in the South, Dinner is served at around noon. This should be "We eat Supper together with our families". Only a bunch of yankess would call supper, dinner.

:)

[Hank Kerchief]

13. Let's get this straight. We have one stoplight in town. We stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.

And when it turns green, we are fixin' to get ready to start decidin' to go when it reaches the shade of green we like, and it will probably be yellow again before we decide.

Hank

[NewsJunqui]

You are aware, aren't you, that the Mason-Dixon line is that linguistic divide between "yoose guys" and "Y'all".

I thought that was I-80.

[the_devils_advocate_666]

We still address our seniors with "yes, sir" and "yes, ma'am,"

It's called "respect", and a damn fine number of our youth ain't learnin' none. I say it is time to get out the switch! (and I mean in the public schools)

[oyez]

Florida is not considered a Southern state

I lived two years at the most Southern extreme of that state, Key West. The people there, except a select few, were worse than Yankees.

[SAMWolf]

The people there, except a select few, were worse than Yankees.

There's people worse than Yankees? ;-)

[Reactionary]

"Aw come on, it was just a joke. My ancestors had nothing to do with Sherman and didn't help burn any Southern cities."

"(They beat the 14th Alabama like a rented mule on Little Round Top near Gettysburg instead)."

So, it's a joke. But not really.

Stay up north. WIth humor like yours, fatal car accidents are an exercise in cosmic humor.

[HostileTerritory]

Us Yankees came and put the fire out.

Not before toasting a few marshmallows though. :)

Can I hear an amen?

[socal_parrot]

In the South, I'd shoot the moose that bit your sister(wife)

Search next time. Why don't you post "Bad American" and "All Your Base" while you're at it.

[helen crump]

Kentucky is the north.

[KingNo155]

25. You burn an American flag in our state, you get beat up. No questions. The liberal contingent of our state legislature - all four of them enacted a measure to stop this. There is now a $2.50 fine for beating up the flag burner.
LOL

[quack]

You're fishing in the wrong spot :)