Death of a Salesman: Can John Kerry sell John Kerry?

Slate ^ | 1/27/2004 | William Saletan

[Utah Girl]

HAMPTON, N.H.—Tonight, John Kerry heads south and west from New Hampshire, widely acclaimed as the Democratic Party's presumptive presidential nominee. "Dated Dean, Married Kerry," goes the slogan of the hour. But before this rebound relationship drifts to the altar, maybe Democrats should ask what they're getting in Kerry. After watching him for a year and seeing him work New Hampshire, here's my warning: You're getting a guy who has plenty of selling points but can't make the sale himself.

Like my colleague Chris Suellentrop, I've watched the Kerry surge with amazement. I've asked myself how Kerry is persuading previously skeptical voters to change their minds about him. The answer is, he isn't. Other people are doing the persuasion. Other people are doing the testimonial ads, as first lady Christie Vilsack did for Kerry in Iowa. Other people are firing up his crowds. Other people are telling his story. Other people are touting his virtues at rallies because he doesn't reliably display those virtues himself. The man who stood up to serve his country as a soldier is being propped up as a candidate.

Two days ago I went to a Kerry rally in Nashua, an hour west of here. Kerry had the biggest and best of everything. I had just come from a John Edwards rally in a beaten-up, slightly cramped school gym a few miles away. The gym hosting Kerry's rally was gorgeous, capacious, and brand new. Edwards' event was at the local junior high; Kerry's was at the high school. Behind Kerry hung an American flag 30 feet tall and 50 feet wide, the hugest I've seen on the campaign trail. The opening act was New Hampshire's most beloved Democrat, former Gov. Jeanne Shaheen.

At Edwards' rally, the candidate was introduced for maybe three minutes and spent the rest of the event making the pitch himself. A Kerry rally is nothing like that. It's more like a roast. First Shaheen sang Kerry's praises. Then a former state senator sang Kerry's praises. Then Ted Kennedy sang Kerry's praises. Then Kennedy's son, Rep. Patrick Kennedy, D-R.I., sang Kerry's praises. Then Kerry spoke for a bit and handed the mike to his stepson and wife, who sang Kerry's praises. It's like going to a concert and sitting through a bunch of speeches in which the musician's friends attest, "This guy can sing."

[Utah Girl]

This article is well worth the click to Slate. Scathing indictment of Kerry.

[DJtex]

I'm trying to think of all the (unlikely) scenarios that could get Kerry into the White House. I'd say that there is a 10-15% chance that Pres. Bush and Karl Rove would screw up badly between now and November. It's not quite as scary to think of Kerry up there--though, thankfully, there's only a 10-15% chance of that happening.

Since everyone fears that Dean is unelectable, they foolishly assume that Kerry is electable. The reality is that only Joe Lieberman is moderate enough to attract the center this election cycle. The totally improbable, near-fatal, rise and fall of Howard Dean ends before Iowa and New Hampshire. Technically, he didn't change the inevitability of John Kerry that started fitfully a year ago. But Kerry is more liberal than even Ted Kennedy. He will have no chance in the General Election barring some highly unusual set of events.

Bush and Company have $100 million for the primaries. Kerry had to mortgage his house to make it through Iowa and New Hampshire. Bush will have a 3 to 1 money advantage throughout the campaign. He's not too far right and Kerry is not a very good campaigner. We're lucky that Dean messed things up so much. Rightfully, one of the two tickets out of New Hampshire should have been a moderate to counter Kerry's leftward slant. Now a super-liberal is being portrayed as the only Presidential material that the Dim's have this cycle. It should be fun to watch.

[malia]

I have to say Kerry looks very good. Does he have a new campaign mangr.. Perhaps Donna, being she was so good with the makeovers. But he does need to get the right eyebrow shaved again, they do grow fast!

Love to see a before and after!

[gipper81]

Kerry has an ACU rating of 6. He is as liberal or more liberal than Dean across the board. I don't think that is really coming across.

[claudiustg]

Seems to me the same stuff was said about Bush during the 2000 primaries.

[Utah Girl]

I just saw Kerry and his speech on MSNBC. He has a new haircut, it's the shortest I've ever seen it. Hmmmm, wonder if he has Naomi Wolf on the payroll.

[Utah Girl]

I think in New Hampshire you are probably right. I think Karl Rove and Karen Hughes blew in in NH for President Bush, but they sure adjusted after that. Let's see what happens with Kerry.

[MEG33]

Botox bump!

[Jaysun]

It's like that horrible euphemism, "She's beautiful inside," which always means she's ugly.

Ugly indeed. My Great-Grandfather's response to that statement is always the same: "Then someone needs to turn her ugly A## inside out!"

I'll admit that I chose a trivial and meaningless snippet when compared to the jest of the article. My answer to the question as to whether or not John Kerry can sell John Kerry is a resounding NO. In my opinion, Kerry couldn't sell the cure for cancer! The fact that he's doing so well is testimony to how woefully inadequate his comrades are.

[Jaysun]

Bush and Company have $100 million for the primaries.

I think that it's up to $150 million now - and counting. That's enough to buy a very large can of whoop ass. Indeed, He'll need cargo trains to carry the mysterious substance in. There's no way that the Democrats can spin, sidestep, or lie in the face of a speeding train which is bubbling over with whoop ass.

[Ruth A.]

Scathing was just the word I was going to use. The links to other articles are well worth the time, too. For example:

He raised both hands to his forehead to convey how crazy he thought Bush's tax cut was. It's hard to imagine Kerry mustering this much body language without Viagra.

This is just wonderful.

[dfwgator]

Kerry is "Slick Willie" without the "slick."

[dfwgator]

Looks like the guys from "Queer Eye" got a hold of Kerry.

[dfwgator]

Well now Dems will know how we felt after Dole got the nomination in 96.

[Utah Girl]

LOL, great comment. And I'll never forget the day I voted for Dole for president, it was a gray gray day.

[Jaysun]

Well now Dems will know how we felt after Dole got the nomination in 96.

No kidding! There's a difference though. The Dems have been getting stomped all over the country. The problem with the Dems isn't a bad candidate, it's a bad party with a warped philosophy

[nutmeg]

ping!

Rush just read part of this article on the air...

...Physically, Kerry's repertoire is painfully limited. He thrusts his index finger at the audience in an overhead arc again and again, as though launching a projectile...

His words are even more stilted, particularly when he ruins a good line by adding prepositional phrases—"in this country … as a fundamental commitment … to all our citizens … regardless of circumstance"—until everyone is silently begging him to stop.

It's strange that a man who charged into enemy fire should prove so physically inferior, as a politician, to a man whose greatest athletic feat during the Vietnam era was swimming ashore at Chappaquiddick. I couldn't decide whether to laugh or wince as Kennedy, the lifelong legislator, exalted Kerry's "two terms" in Vietnam—then corrected his description, incorrectly, to "two sessions." (Pssst, Senator … the word is tours.)

Please FReepmail me if you want on or off my infrequent ‘miscellaneous’ ping list.

[nutmeg]

Please see #18 (Rush)

[Born Conservative]

Article discussed today by Rush...