[dfwgator]

"Get your haggis right here! Chopped heart and lungs! Boiled in a wee sheep's stomach! Tastes as good as it sounds! Good for what ails ya!"

[martin_fierro]

'Tis a bonny, bonny meal (but vegetarian?? Bleah!)

[absalom01]

At last! It was always such a bother to make the Christmas haggis from scratch, especially since no one else would eat evan a tiny bit of it. Yup, this ought to be a giant seller in the good ole U.S. of A. I can see it now -- rows of canned haggis sitting next to the turkeys and hams...

[connectthedots]

How much scotch does the average person have to drink before actually attempting to eat haggis?

[lilylangtree]

Haggis? I'm still trying to stomach lutefisk. My friend takes me to an annual Sons of Norway event every year where lutefisk is served. I enjoy her company but not the lutefisk. Thank goodness I don't know any Scots that would drag me to an event that serves Haggis.

[RosieCotton]

Ping

[ClearCase_guy]

I know a (very fancy) restaurant that features an annual Robert Burns Day feast. On their recent flyer announcing this, they said that they would be serving haggis -- but (they said) don't worry, you don't have to eat it, because other food would be provided.

Really says something when a restaurant suggests that one of its dishes may be inedible.

[Charles Martel]

offal-based delicacy

Wow, what a great example of words that should *never* be spoken together.

[PAR35]

It's cost us a fortune so far

It takes guts to go into the Haggis business.

[Ol' Sox]

"Try Haggis! It's offal!"

[Pest]

Little Feat

Tripe Face Boogie
Lyrics Bill Payne and Richard Hayward

Buffalo'd in buffalo
Entertained in Houston
New York, yew nork,
You gotta choose one
Tripe face boogie
Boogie my sneakers away

I don't want your money
Don't want your time
Please don't hype me honey
Or I'll give you back your dime
Tripe face boogie
Boogie my sneakers away

I don't dig potato chips
A can't dig torts
Tripe my guacamole, baby
Tripe my shorts

Hype boogie
Tripe boogie
Hype boogie
All night Long

You bring your guitar and I'll bring the wine
We'll blow out our speakers, just one more time

Tripe face boogie -- Look Out!
Give tripe face his way
Look Out!
Give tripe face his day
Look Out!
Give tripe face his way

[sharktrager]

What did we ever do to Scotland?

[evets]

Celtic Fest, Bethlehem PA, haggis eating contest http://www.celticfest.org/haggis.htm

[Gordian Blade]

Address to a Haggis
Robert Burns, 1786

Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain o' the pudding-race!
Aboon them a' yet tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye wordy o'a grace
As lang's my arm.

The groaning trencher there ye fill,
Your hurdies like a distant hill,
Your pin was help to mend a mill
In time o'need,
While thro' your pores the dews distil
Like amber bead.

His knife see rustic Labour dight,
An' cut you up wi' ready sleight,
Trenching your gushing entrails bright,
Like ony ditch;
And then, O what a glorious sight,
Warm-reekin', rich!

Then, horn for horn, they stretch an' strive:
Deil tak the hindmost! on they drive,
Till a' their weel-swall'd kytes belyve
Are bent like drums;
Then auld Guidman, maist like to rive,
Bethankit! hums.

Is there that owre his French ragout
Or olio that wad staw a sow,
Or fricassee wad make her spew
Wi' perfect sconner,
Looks down wi' sneering, scornfu' view
On sic a dinner?

Poor devil! see him owre his trash,
As feckles as wither'd rash,
His spindle shank, a guid whip-lash;
His nieve a nit;
Thro' blody flood or field to dash,
O how unfit!

But mark the Rustic, haggis-fed,
The trembling earth resounds his tread.
Clap in his walie nieve a blade,
He'll mak it whissle;
An' legs an' arms, an' hands will sned,
Like taps o' trissle.

Ye Pow'rs, wha mak mankind your care,
And dish them out their bill o' fare,
Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware
That jaups in luggies;
But, if ye wish her gratefu' prayer
Gie her a haggis!

[Brainhose]

My Uncle Ronnie has gone into the Haggis business. Instead of importing it, he's having it made here in conjunction with a major UK haggis firm. He's starting to sell quite a bit of it. Believe it or not.

[rmh47]

I've heard that bagpipes were actually invented by the Irish, who gave them to the Scots. The Scots to this day haven't caught on to the joke.

[70times7]

Wait! Isn't Hurling a Scottish thing too? If it is we know why!

[DugwayDuke]

Haggis are real-life creatures:

It is in the nature of the haggis that it should be a creature shrouded in mystery. Over the years many misconceptions have developed about these reclusive creatures. Here we are happy to debunk the most common myths and set the record straight.

A haggis is just a sheep’s stomach stuffed with meat and oatmeal.
The most common mistaken belief about the haggis is that it is some kind of pudding made from sheep innards. This somewhat macabre idea dates back many centuries. Its origins lie in a Pictish fertility ceremony which featured a parade of creatures known to produce large numbers of offspring. The haggis was one such animal. However, as hunting techniques were not as sophisticated as they were then and - for reasons explained in The Haggis in Scotland’s History - haggis numbers were low, the Pictish priests often had to make do with a model for these ceremonies. Said model haggis was made from an inflated sheep bladder, hence the myth.

http://www.haggishunt.com/haggisclopedia.cfm

[DugwayDuke]

With credit due to "uglybiker" who first posted this material.

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1029849/posts

See post #22.

Top tips for the haggis moors

Hunting the haggis is no easy matter. Before you have even ventured out on hills armed with your meuran (the standard tool of the haggis hunter) there are myriad traditions to be observed.

Central to the art is stealth. Like the deer stalker, the haggis hunter must be silent, invisible and without odour. Fortunately, while the haggis has incredibly acute senses, these function over a very narrow range. Thus the haggis hunter has to be only a bit silent, a bit invisible and a little without odour.

The haggis can hear only certain high pitched sounds with any clarity. By whacking turnips with a mallet next to a haggis warren, or fobhríste, the prominent cryptobiologist Ima Maidep-Nayim has proved that the animal does not react to low thudding sounds. However, even a light rustling can make these delicate creatures bolt.

By perverse coincidence, the sound the haggis is most sensitive to is that of plaid rubbing on underpants. No-one knows why this should be, perhaps this almost undetectable noise mimics exactly the sound of a golden eagle plummeting towards its target. Whatever the reason, the aim of a haggis hunter who sports underwear will never be true. Hence, the tradition that “true Scots” wear nothing under their kilt.

As far as masking the hunter’s smell is concerned, there is only one substance that can hide the multifarious odours of a haggiser: whisky. Preferable, the hunter should be absolutely drenched in the stuff to mask any scent. Many’s the ignorant laird who has given his gamekeeper a tongue-lashing for smelling of alcohol and then had to issue a cringeing apology after learning this bit of haggis lore.

Finally, the haggis hunter must make himself invisible to his prey. Much like the Tyrannosaurus Rex – a creature to which it is not often compared – the haggis has eyes that react most effectively to movement, but only movement in a straight line. In order to creep up on their prey, haggis hunters must disguise their approach by adopting a shambling, apparently random gait. This is known as havering.

Thus, if you encounter a Scot stinking of whisky, shuffling down the street in an ungainly fashion with their kilt flapping round their bare backside you know they are only hunting the haggis. To show that you are au fait with “the hunt”, approach him (or her) and say in a loud voice: “Ach, your havering”. A lively discussion should ensue.

http://www.haggishunt.com/haggisclopedia.cfm?part=6

[pa_dweller]

Sounds like it has a leg up on souse, anyhow. They'll probably have a tough time in Dutch country though, scrapple's too entrenched.