Ask Women: L'eau Garlic Beats Men's Colongne

Los Angeles Daily News | 01-16-2004 | Lenore Skenazy

[boris]

By Lenore Skenazy

M EN, you are going to thank me for this column. Women, too. Because in the course of researching the latest perfume trends — as any serious journalist must — I learned from a bona fide scientific institute the three smells that most turn women off. Ready?

Cherries. Barbecued meat. And cologne.

"All acted to inhibit female sexual arousal," reports Dr. Alan Hirsch, director of the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Dr. Hirsch! For, while the number of men rubbing themselves with cherries or spare ribs is not large — although ifyou ride public transportation you know they're out there — the number of misguided men still slapping themselves with cologne is legion. Now at last they know: It is time to stanch the stench.

Why do these three particular scents make women turn up their noses, love-wise? Hirsch's theories are not what you'd call ultra-deep, but then again, he seems to be the only guy studying this, so we'll stick with him.

Perhaps, he posits, the smell of cherries reminds women of the medicine they took as children. Yuck. Perhaps charred meat reminds them of cooking. Yuck. And perhaps, he says, "Cologne reminds them of going out with men." Uh, what? You mean a smell that reminds a woman she's going out with one of them — you know, a man — is enough to doom a date? Well, says Hirsch, who has also spent real-life, paid-for time discovering that the scent of certain candies arouses women, "My advice for men is to get rid of the cologne and buy a box of Good & Plenty."

Now, it takes a man who innately intuits the sex-junk food connection even to think of exploring the marital happiness-garlic bread connection. And that's exactly what Hirsch did. In a study recently conducted by his institute, Hirsch's researchers visited 50 Chicago families, bringing them a free pasta dinner, twice. One time the dinner included garlic bread; one time it didn't. The researchers then sat there, stomachs rumbling, observing the family's interactions.

Conclusion? The garlic bread factor cannot be overstated. In its presence, researchers recorded 8 percent more positive family interactions and 22 percent fewer negative ones.

We don't yet know whether this was because the scent of the bread made everyone happy, or eating it satisfied some basic instinct (like, say, hunger) or simply that the smell of garlic finall) overwhelmed the smell of dad's cologne — causing mom, moving like Sophia Loren and growling with lust, tc crawl across the table.

Well, I'm sure the invaluable Smell and Taste Foundation will let us know soon.

Lenore Skenazy is a columnist for the New York Daily News. Write to her by e-mail at lskenazyedit@nydailynews.com.

[boris]

Not yet available on their website; sorry.

[cyborg]

I hate cologne. I prefer bayrum or Old Spice on a man.

[theDentist]

Just a few weeks ago they said sweat was the thing to wear.

[linn37]

I like em naked with a hint of soap.

[mylife]

Dabbing on some garlic now! Rowrrrr!
LOL should I use some Ramano cheese as well? :^)

[Xenalyte]

Back in the day, Xena's Mom got me a huge basket of vanilla-scented lotion and shampoo and bath gel and what-all, on the theory that (and I quote) "guys like girls who smell like cookies."

So I wore the vanilla stuff, and lo and behold, Xena's Guy followed me home. Then he patted me down, found out I wasn't holding, and called me a cookie tease.

[Xenalyte]

Ping 'cause Cookie Tease would be a great name for a band!

[EggsAckley]

I don't like any cologne on men. The scent of a freshly bleached Tee Shirt is, however, heavenly.

[steplock]

"Perhaps charred meat reminds them of cooking. Yuck. "

Unbiased opinion of the PEAT/ELF/ALF lef-wing radical "reporter".

Unless he one of dem yankees?

Most of the women I know in Texas LOVE the smell of good barbecue smoke permeated throughout clothes and hair.

It reminds them of REAL MEN - NOT metrosexual twerps.

Cherries were added on there not because of medicine but propbably because of the use of "cherry tobacco" by beginner pipe smokers in college (yes, I did that too!).

[Bikers4Bush]

So if that's the case why do women always buy us cologne or take us shopping for it?

[steplock]

"Unless he one of dem yankees?"

Typo: hr = she's


.

[cyborg]

LOL

[steplock]

damned fingers!


HE = SHE'S

.

[cyborg]

i agree

[Xenalyte]

This Texas-born and -bred broad adores pipe and cigar smoke. If allowed, I would have bowls of pipe tobacco around the house for potpourri.

[boris]

"Men's Colongne"

That's the answer. It comes from the colon. My spelling error.

--Boris

[twigs]

I hope you're married and unavailable! My husband would like you! [He's faithful, but you both think alike.]

[PBRSTREETGANG]

So then it wouldn't be very wise to slap on some cologne and grill one of these for my date?

[Ditter]

I think the Romano cheese would be a step backward, but thats just me. Soap smell is good.

[shiva]

LOL