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Ask Women: L'eau Garlic Beats Men's Colongne
Los Angeles Daily News
| 01-16-2004
| Lenore Skenazy
Posted on 01/16/2004 6:36:07 AM PST by boris
By Lenore Skenazy
M EN, you are going to thank me for this column. Women, too. Because in the course of researching the latest perfume trends as any serious journalist must I learned from a bona fide scientific institute the three smells that most turn women off. Ready?
Cherries. Barbecued meat. And cologne.
"All acted to inhibit female sexual arousal," reports Dr. Alan Hirsch, director of the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Dr. Hirsch! For, while the number of men rubbing themselves with cherries or spare ribs is not large although ifyou ride public transportation you know they're out there the number of misguided men still slapping themselves with cologne is legion. Now at last they know: It is time to stanch the stench.
Why do these three particular scents make women turn up their noses, love-wise? Hirsch's theories are not what you'd call ultra-deep, but then again, he seems to be the only guy studying this, so we'll stick with him.
Perhaps, he posits, the smell of cherries reminds women of the medicine they took as children. Yuck. Perhaps charred meat reminds them of cooking. Yuck. And perhaps, he says, "Cologne reminds them of going out with men." Uh, what? You mean a smell that reminds a woman she's going out with one of them you know, a man is enough to doom a date? Well, says Hirsch, who has also spent real-life, paid-for time discovering that the scent of certain candies arouses women, "My advice for men is to get rid of the cologne and buy a box of Good & Plenty."
Now, it takes a man who innately intuits the sex-junk food connection even to think of exploring the marital happiness-garlic bread connection. And that's exactly what Hirsch did. In a study recently conducted by his institute, Hirsch's researchers visited 50 Chicago families, bringing them a free pasta dinner, twice. One time the dinner included garlic bread; one time it didn't. The researchers then sat there, stomachs rumbling, observing the family's interactions.
Conclusion? The garlic bread factor cannot be overstated. In its presence, researchers recorded 8 percent more positive family interactions and 22 percent fewer negative ones.
We don't yet know whether this was because the scent of the bread made everyone happy, or eating it satisfied some basic instinct (like, say, hunger) or simply that the smell of garlic finall) overwhelmed the smell of dad's cologne causing mom, moving like Sophia Loren and growling with lust, tc crawl across the table.
Well, I'm sure the invaluable Smell and Taste Foundation will let us know soon.
Lenore Skenazy is a columnist for the New York Daily News. Write to her by e-mail at lskenazyedit@nydailynews.com.
TOPICS: Miscellaneous; News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: cologne; garlic; goodplenty
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1
posted on
01/16/2004 6:36:07 AM PST
by
boris
To: boris
I hate cologne. I prefer bayrum or Old Spice on a man.
2
posted on
01/16/2004 6:37:48 AM PST
by
cyborg
To: boris
Just a few weeks ago they said sweat was the thing to wear.
3
posted on
01/16/2004 6:40:28 AM PST
by
theDentist
(Boston: So much Liberty, you can buy a Politician already owned by someone else.)
To: cyborg
I like em naked with a hint of soap.
4
posted on
01/16/2004 6:41:36 AM PST
by
linn37
(Have you hugged your Phlebotomist today?)
To: boris
Dabbing on some garlic now! Rowrrrr!
LOL should I use some Ramano cheese as well? :^)
5
posted on
01/16/2004 6:41:39 AM PST
by
mylife
To: boris
Back in the day, Xena's Mom got me a huge basket of vanilla-scented lotion and shampoo and bath gel and what-all, on the theory that (and I quote) "guys like girls who smell like cookies."
So I wore the vanilla stuff, and lo and behold, Xena's Guy followed me home. Then he patted me down, found out I wasn't holding, and called me a cookie tease.
6
posted on
01/16/2004 6:42:25 AM PST
by
Xenalyte
(I may not agree with your bumper sticker, but I'll defend to the death your right to stick it)
To: Lazamataz; Hegewisch Dupa
Ping 'cause Cookie Tease would be a great name for a band!
7
posted on
01/16/2004 6:42:48 AM PST
by
Xenalyte
(I may not agree with your bumper sticker, but I'll defend to the death your right to stick it)
To: cyborg
I don't like any cologne on men. The scent of a freshly bleached Tee Shirt is, however, heavenly.
8
posted on
01/16/2004 6:43:44 AM PST
by
EggsAckley
(...................Repeal the Fourteenth Amendment.......................)
To: boris
"Perhaps charred meat reminds them of cooking. Yuck. "
Unbiased opinion of the PEAT/ELF/ALF lef-wing radical "reporter".
Unless he one of dem yankees?
Most of the women I know in Texas LOVE the smell of good barbecue smoke permeated throughout clothes and hair.
It reminds them of REAL MEN - NOT metrosexual twerps.
Cherries were added on there not because of medicine but propbably because of the use of "cherry tobacco" by beginner pipe smokers in college (yes, I did that too!).
9
posted on
01/16/2004 6:44:03 AM PST
by
steplock
(www.FOCUS.GOHOTSPRINGS.com)
To: boris
So if that's the case why do women always buy us cologne or take us shopping for it?
10
posted on
01/16/2004 6:44:19 AM PST
by
Bikers4Bush
(Bush and Co. are quickly convincing me that the Constitution Party is our only hope.)
To: steplock
"Unless he one of dem yankees?"
Typo: hr = she's
.
11
posted on
01/16/2004 6:45:44 AM PST
by
steplock
(www.FOCUS.GOHOTSPRINGS.com)
To: linn37
LOL
12
posted on
01/16/2004 6:46:11 AM PST
by
cyborg
To: steplock
damned fingers!
HE = SHE'S
.
13
posted on
01/16/2004 6:46:21 AM PST
by
steplock
(www.FOCUS.GOHOTSPRINGS.com)
To: EggsAckley
i agree
14
posted on
01/16/2004 6:46:33 AM PST
by
cyborg
To: steplock
This Texas-born and -bred broad adores pipe and cigar smoke. If allowed, I would have bowls of pipe tobacco around the house for potpourri.
15
posted on
01/16/2004 6:47:35 AM PST
by
Xenalyte
(I may not agree with your bumper sticker, but I'll defend to the death your right to stick it)
To: boris
"Men's Colongne" That's the answer. It comes from the colon. My spelling error.
--Boris
16
posted on
01/16/2004 6:48:54 AM PST
by
boris
(The deadliest Weapon of Mass Destruction in History is a Leftist With a Word Processor)
To: linn37
I hope you're married and unavailable! My husband would like you! [He's faithful, but you both think alike.]
17
posted on
01/16/2004 6:49:07 AM PST
by
twigs
To: boris
So then it wouldn't be very wise to slap on some cologne and grill one of these for my date?
To: mylife
I think the Romano cheese would be a step backward, but thats just me. Soap smell is good.
19
posted on
01/16/2004 6:49:20 AM PST
by
Ditter
To: linn37
LOL
20
posted on
01/16/2004 6:51:16 AM PST
by
shiva
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