Ask Women: L'eau Garlic Beats Men's Colongne

Los Angeles Daily News | 01-16-2004 | Lenore Skenazy

[boris]

By Lenore Skenazy

M EN, you are going to thank me for this column. Women, too. Because in the course of researching the latest perfume trends — as any serious journalist must — I learned from a bona fide scientific institute the three smells that most turn women off. Ready?

Cherries. Barbecued meat. And cologne.

"All acted to inhibit female sexual arousal," reports Dr. Alan Hirsch, director of the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Dr. Hirsch! For, while the number of men rubbing themselves with cherries or spare ribs is not large — although ifyou ride public transportation you know they're out there — the number of misguided men still slapping themselves with cologne is legion. Now at last they know: It is time to stanch the stench.

Why do these three particular scents make women turn up their noses, love-wise? Hirsch's theories are not what you'd call ultra-deep, but then again, he seems to be the only guy studying this, so we'll stick with him.

Perhaps, he posits, the smell of cherries reminds women of the medicine they took as children. Yuck. Perhaps charred meat reminds them of cooking. Yuck. And perhaps, he says, "Cologne reminds them of going out with men." Uh, what? You mean a smell that reminds a woman she's going out with one of them — you know, a man — is enough to doom a date? Well, says Hirsch, who has also spent real-life, paid-for time discovering that the scent of certain candies arouses women, "My advice for men is to get rid of the cologne and buy a box of Good & Plenty."

Now, it takes a man who innately intuits the sex-junk food connection even to think of exploring the marital happiness-garlic bread connection. And that's exactly what Hirsch did. In a study recently conducted by his institute, Hirsch's researchers visited 50 Chicago families, bringing them a free pasta dinner, twice. One time the dinner included garlic bread; one time it didn't. The researchers then sat there, stomachs rumbling, observing the family's interactions.

Conclusion? The garlic bread factor cannot be overstated. In its presence, researchers recorded 8 percent more positive family interactions and 22 percent fewer negative ones.

We don't yet know whether this was because the scent of the bread made everyone happy, or eating it satisfied some basic instinct (like, say, hunger) or simply that the smell of garlic finall) overwhelmed the smell of dad's cologne — causing mom, moving like Sophia Loren and growling with lust, tc crawl across the table.

Well, I'm sure the invaluable Smell and Taste Foundation will let us know soon.

Lenore Skenazy is a columnist for the New York Daily News. Write to her by e-mail at lskenazyedit@nydailynews.com.

[pettifogger]

. . . there was this one guy who wore "Dunhill" . . . Oooh - la - la!

Mr. P, on the other hand, is a real man and I can't get enough of that hint of Head 'n' Shoulders and Dial!

[mylife]

LOL...I suspect you are correct

[Hegewisch Dupa]

you know, Cookie Tease IS such a great name for a band I googled it to see if it wasn't already. I was surprised to see it wasn't.

Good move with the vanilla, by the way. It is the most popular fragance.

[PBRSTREETGANG]

Grilling with this could apparently doom one to a lifetime of bachelorhood.

[joesnuffy]

Bob knows the smell they cant resist.....

[sweetliberty]

LOL! If I wear anything at all that has fragrance, it is generally vanilla (soap, lotion, etc). I don't care for cologne and it never did a thing for me on men. I always felt they were trying to cover up other smells. Besides, it about makes me gag.

I have a theory of my own about why cherries and barbecued meat are a turnoff. It isn't that the smells are not good, but that it makes us think of eating, so men, maybe the key is to ply us with supper of barbecue, garlic bread and and cherry pie and scrap the cologne.

[stainlessbanner]

I learned from a bona fide scientific institute the three smells that most turn women off.... Barbecued meat.

Say it ain't so!

[sweetliberty]

See my post #26.

[Constitution Day]

Well, durn.

[Tijeras_Slim]

I've found a dab behind the ears to be highly efficacious.

[Constitution Day]

You know, I've always loved the smell of Hoppe's.

Maybe I'll try that on the Mrs. this weekend.

[Tijeras_Slim]

I smell that stuff and I'm 12 years old again, walking through damp woods with my .22. (Sort of like the olfactory equivalent of reading "The Old Man and The Boy")

[johnb838]

HA! I've always been fond of the scent of Hoppes #9 myself. And the problem with modern smokeless gunpowder is it lacks that comforting old cordite smell.

I like perfume on girls fine still. I gave my girl a bottle of Coco Chanel once and she said she couldn't wear it to work because she'd just sit behind her desk and think of me.

I'm glad to read this. I used to wear cologne. I had certain ones that I thought worked well on me. I had one that said "notice me", and one that said "fall in love with me". :) Over the last several years I've sort of dropped them though. Once in a very great while I'll do the old spray it up in the air and walk through the mist thing, but it still kinda smells too strong.

[tiamat]

You're so funny! LOL!

Tia

[Xenalyte]

My hand to God, it's true! :)

[Xenalyte]

This will do in a pinch.

[In_25_words_or_less]

Cologne? Nah. Just take a platinum Visa with a huge limit and lick it and stick it to your forehead. Can't miss. ;o)

[truthkeeper]

The scent of a freshly bleached Tee Shirt is, however, heavenly.

Soap and toothpaste here.

[Rebelbase]

"smells that most turn women off.... Barbecued meat."

Oh great. Now my choices are reduced to being a monk or being gay.

[pikachu]

"smells that most turn women off.... Barbecued meat." Oh great. Now my choices are reduced to being a monk or being gay.

The monks called and said they are leaving no fowarding address --- you are down to one choice.