Why is there a bias against interracial dating?

AJC ^ | 1/10/04 | AJC

[dcwusmc]

cyborg, thanks for your comments. Glad your family stayed...

Arne, thanks. I never thought I'd post comments that would draw such a favorable response from you, as often as we've crossed swords. Very refreshing. (NO sarcasm, btw.)

[King Prout]

oh, you saw THAT post too, huh?
dude sure likes to make assumptions, don't he?

[reg45]

Would you want your son to marry a Britney Spears?

No, never. I would prefer that he marry someone intelligent.

[cyborg]

a troll who didn't go to church today

[cyborg]

There are more white females than there black females. Second of all, none of anyone's business who someone dates anyway so it's not rightfully so since they don't know someone's life.

[Quix]

I believe FEAR

is far more of a cause component than power.

Fear arises from insecurities and aversion to, fear of that which is not LIKE US. Dissimilarity leaves a lot of people feeling at least uneasy, wary--if not plainly fearful. And, often fear quickly slides into anger, hostility, defensiveness.

It takes a centered, solid, secure person to avoid the fear pitfalls when associating with significant difference among associates. Or, at least it takes someone who was raised to ignore, neutralize, avoid insecurity based fears in the context of relationships with those significantly different.

It's somewhat psychodynamically akin to Freud's assertion about IN-GROUP/OUT-GROUP phenomena--that even a religion based on love would be unloving to those not members of it. Too many less than overcoming Christians and pseudo Christians have spent centuries proving that too true.

But then, some Buddhists can be similarly violent about the issue as most certainly can Hindus and Moslems.

Only Christ sliced across all the differences on The Cross dying for ALL MANKIND (humankind for the PC addicted/challenged). Christ persistently raised respect, compassion and active caring for women, the poor, the disadvantaged, the downtrodden, the imprisoned, the attacked and dying, the different. But His disciples have felt most comfortable in little cliques of mutual bless-me clubs wherein outsiders had to jump through myriad hoops to be accepted at all--if acceptance was even possible for outsiders of any type--regardless of the propaganda from the pulpit.

In the chronic crises coming, such a hideous farcical 'Christianity' will be overcome by authentic Christianity in which individuals crossing all manner of group label lines will act AS CHRIST WOULD HAVE in their responses to those even who are quite different from them as individuals and who come from groups quite different. Christ said that if HE WERE LIFTED UP, HE WOULD DRAW *ALL* MEN UNTO HIM (humankind). He will be proving that increasingly even this year compared to last year.

The criteria will not be whether someone's birth or genetics left them markedly different or not. The criteria will be whether one Loves God wholly and their neighbor as themselves--and does unto others as they would have others do unto them. That will be sufficient similarity for unity at the foot of The Cross and shoulder to shoulder in the trenches and torture chambers inhabited by Onward Christian Soldiers.

[cyborg]

good post

[Nataku X]

Skimming through this thread briefly, you'd think that black people were the only racist ones. Here's a racist whitey story. When I first went away to college, my father asked only one thing of me--and that was to never date a black guy.

As I have no desire to get my date shot (by dad), I won't date black men until dad dies. BTW Dad is ultra-conservative, ultra-Christian, all that. Nothing personal.

[Quix]

Thanks for your kind comment.

God's best to you this year!

[Sir Gawain]

You've probably never seen the "uneven playing field" because when you are the top you can never accurately perceive how far down the bottom is. You are probably right though. The feckless public school educations, inadequate health care, and indecent apartment/project housing innumerable black kids live with probably is as equal a playing field as black people will ever witness in the land of lieberty and justus for yall. Oops, forgot to mention the drugs/weapons ridden neighborhoods we inhabit. But that's probably our own fault, since we are extremely resistant to burning down the coca and poppy fields in our sprawling backyards and the handgun factories at the corners of our streets.

Like someone else said: Blacks have been voting straight Democrat for 30 years and nothing has changed. If you're going to live on the Democrat plantation, you have no valid reason to complain about your handouts.

[King Prout]

good post, but I think you glide too swiftly into "fear", without paying attention to "annoyance"

[spintreebob]

why are the large majority of black-white dating/ marriages between black males and white females? Why do black females get upset

My experience and observation from the 60's and 70's when I was single are several:
- In the civil rights movement, especially SNCC, the White guys participated mostly because they thought the girls were more liberated and an easier lay with no committment. Furthermore, most White guys thought Black girls in the movement were an easier lay than White girls. I knew several White guys with Black gals where there was a real love and committment. But they were the exception.
- Black gals historically have been taken for granted as easy. Most seem to sense that history and resent it. Certainly their experience in the civil rights movement, and in college, confirmed that for many of them.
- When I was single female friends tried to hook me up with a friend/relative of another background. It was much less often a guy tried to hook me up with anyone, regardless of race.
- I experienced equal rejection from the person who was the object of the hookup, regardless of race or ethnicity.
- Most people are lazy. It is easier if they can deal in labels. Laziness is a societal force against judging people as individuals rather than being in a labeled group. This is as true of non-racial labels as it is of racial labels.

[Quix]

Thanks for your kind comment and exhortation.

I think . . . annoyance . . . for me . . . regarding that issue comes along more in cases like a lot of homosexuals . . . where the individuals concerned feel compelled at a SHRILLERY volume to rub something obtuse or obnoxious in the faces of all around.

I think then, I prefer to walk away as one might some stranger's 2 year old throwing a tantrum at the supermarket.

[Jorge]

I am color blind. I make it a practice to never notice the color of someone's skin. It makes no difference to me.

I'm not color blind. I enjoy the variety of races and colors in the human race.
I like people being different and think it would be boring if we were all the same.

[Diva Betsy Ross]

Just because I am color blind does not mean I wish everyone was the same.

To me it is irrelevant what color someone's skin is, doesn't matter to me, my family, my friends ,or my children.

And there is nothing wrong with that.

[Jorge]

Oh, you are into color. You use phrases like "white men."

If you read the post I was responding to, you would have realized I was repeating her statement about "white men" back to her.

Besides, what's wrong with calling somebody a white man?
I'm a white man and proud of it.

[VOA]

Why is there a bias against interracial dating?

I grew up and lived in Oklahoma until my late 30s.
The only time I heard anyone seriously torqued about an "inter-racial" couple
was from a guy with an M.S. in a science field and now a patent attorney.

I tried to say "hey, it's a big world and you're free to date anyone you want to"...
but the guy was visibly upset when a black-white couple enetered the <br.restaurant we were at.

[Sister_T]

Admit it. Black women haven't always been so perfect to their men.

True. Sad, but true.

[Sister_T]

I respect your right to marry within your own group, if you wish, but, don't you think you were defrauding those white guys (of their time, their money, and perhaps in some cases their emotions as well) by accepting dates from them when you *knew* you'd never marry one?

At the time, I wasn't saved so I didn't care. And, really, it wasn't that much time, money or emotion involved. They probably saw me as some "piece of chocolate" to taste for a little while.

My rule always was, I wouldn't date anyone that I knew, up front, I wouldn't marry. Of course, for a fornicator looking to have a good time, dating women he'd never marry would be okay -- but as a Christian I saw no other reason to date, other than to seek marriage.

And that's what I was at the time: a fornicator looking to have a good time.

[fight_truth_decay]

The hair can come from any hotel room she might be in with the "exhibit" having been lying on a carpet..etc. None of us like to think what lingers within a room and has been missed by housekeeping.

All this considering, it does not matter if she had been with 25 men in 3 days ( on and about )with Kobe joining the gang bang. If she says No..it's No! She could have said "Yes" the other 24 times!

Regards
fight_truth_ decay