Family Adoption: Did We Do the Right Thing? (Freeper Lawyer/Accountant Advice Requested)

8 Jan 04 | TankerKC

[TankerKC]

Family Adoption: Did We Do the Right Thing? (Freeper Advice Requested)

Being a Conservative goes beyond posting to FreeRepublic. Or, it should. So, when a family member got into some legal trouble and couldn’t care for her child, my wife and I stepped in.

Not the first time.

When you come from a family with six kids, chances are that one may not turn out to be a productive member of society. My mom raised six of us on her own. She now has grown children, five of whom are functioning members of society including a military officer, three cops and a homemaker (and former cop).

The sixth, and youngest, has been in and out of trouble since she was in the sixth grade—incidentally the last year she regularly attended school. She had her first child when she was 15 and her second when she was 19.

Over the years the level of trouble she got into escalated. She started with truancy, fighting, and drinking. Soon it was drugs along with prostitution to pay for it. She finally developed a heroine habit and resorted to armed robbery for funds.

She was caught and arrested during a robbery of a diner. Her two children, who had accompanied her during her heroine binges and crime sprees, were taken into state custody. Of course, with 5 aunts and uncles, the kids had a home to go to. My brother took the kids into his home. Since the kids were wards of the state, my brother was essentially taking care of the kids for the State of California—it seems that is one way to work the situation. Because he was taking care of the “state’s kids”, he was given $600 a month and Medi-Cal health insurance.

A Third Child

Meanwhile, the children’s mom was in and out of prison, rehab, and parole, finally ending up with several warrants out for her arrest and strung out on heroine yet again. In February of 2000 she gave birth to a daughter. Since she was high and wanted, she slipped across the border to Tijuana, Mexico to have the baby. She was afraid that if she gave birth in a US hospital that she would be turned in. Once the baby was born, she slipped back across the border, never documenting the birth of her new child..

She spent the next eleven months living in cheap motels and scoring drugs anyway that she could. The gig was up when she got caught shop lifting and she was off to prison again.

My brother still had her older kids and had since had a child of his own with Down’s Syndrome, so he couldn’t take another child—particularly one born hooked on heroine.

Poor Timing

My wife and I already had four children. All were of school age. I was in the second month of a 1 year deployment to Honduras and my wife worked in the cash office at a local discount store. The timing was all wrong, but when she asked our four older kids about bringing the child to live with us, the just asked how soon we could get her to Alabama.

In order to take the child, my wife would need to quit her job. Due to my deployment, she was already functioning as single parent, and now her hands would really be full. We needed the money from her job, but our new baby would need some special help.

Even though our family income was going to go down, we did not want to take money from the state to care for a family member. We could have easily let the child be a ward of the state and taken cash and health insurance. But, we didn’t think is was a state responsibility. It was a family responsibility. Besides, we’d get her on our insurance and claim her as a dependent on our taxes. It would all work out—or so we thought.

She has no Birth Certificate?

Our new baby was born under less that perfect circumstances. She was born sick, in a foreign country, to a mother who was wanted by the law. Her birth was not registered or documented in anyway. We immediately got (and paid) an adoption lawyer so that we could get legal custody and progress through the adoption process. We thought that having legal custody would streamline the process.

Nothing could make this messy process smooth. It took months just to get a custody hearing. Meanwhile we paid for her doctor visits. Once we had legal custody, we thought we could claim her on our taxes and add her to our health plan. But Mr. Bureaucracy says, “Not so fast there!”

Without a birth certificate, there will be no Social Security Number. We found this to be true no matter how many other acceptable forms of identification are listed on the SS website. How about a form from the INS attesting to her citizenship? No! Can we get a individual taxpayer id number (ITIN), you know the number that illegal aliens can get so that they can pay there taxes? No!

Without a SSN or ITIN, you can’t claim a child on your taxes.

Or, get the $600 “Bush” child tax rebate.

Or, claim your adoption credit.

Or, get your DoD adoption allowance.

Three Years

So, we have been trying to get some documentation for this child for nearly three years. My wife has spent hours waiting in Social Security, Internal Revenue, and INS offices only to run into road blocks at every turn. We have, called, mailed, and emailed asking for and proving information to no avail.

The lesson? Don’t do the right thing. That’s what I’ve learned so far.

[TankerKC]

Is there anyone out there with some expertise in this area? Every time we call or visit an office, they give us a list of things to do to document this child. Once we do it, the rules changes.

Most recently, my wife called the local Social Security office, which referred her to a 1-800 number. At the number, an agent told gave her a list of items that would be acceptable to issue a SS card. My wife collected the items, and went to our local office (again). She waited for 3 hours, then was told that the 1-800 agent was wrong and the birth certificate was the ONLY acceptable proof of citizenship.

Help?

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[Bikers4Bush]

Get a copy of the mothers legal U.S. birth certificate and a DNA test from the mother as well as her siblings.

Your problems SHOULD end once you have established (through DNA) that the mother is a legal citizen.

[IncPen]

I don't have any advice, but I wish you the best. You're doing the right thing...

[pbmaltzman]

My heart goes out to you. This lady is seriously screwed up. I hope her kids turn out all right.

I would also mention, though, that "heroine" = "female hero"; and that "heroin" = "addictive drug referred to above." Not even remotely the same.

[GovernmentShrinker]

Who's your congresscritter? Social Security is a federal issue, as are the federal tax credits. Congresscritters are supposed to have staffs that help constituents with such things.

[Lizavetta]

Or, get the $600 “Bush” child tax rebate

Are you sure about this? I was under the impression that you got a $10,000 deduction for adopting.

[lsucat]

I have three children adopted internationally. You do not have to have proof of citizenship to get a social security number. I got my sons' numbers before they were citizens, but they had green cards. I wish I could help more, but I know that anyone at social security who tells you that your child needs proof of citizenship to get a social security number is wrong. Furthermore, we have been told in no uncertain terms that a U.S. birth certificate is NOT proof of citizenship.

I hope someone is able to help you more. Dealing with social security has never been a cakewalk for us. I have found it helpful to print the list of required documents from the social security site and bring it with me to the office. In my latest tangle with them, that's the only thing that helped.

Calling your congressman and senators is an excellent idea. Good luck to you.

[lsucat]

You do get a $10,000 credit for adopting. I think he may have been referring to the rebate that was sent out to families earlier this year. It was a rebate on the child tax credit, not the adoption credit.

[lsucat]

One more thing...the only acceptable documents for proving citizenship to INS are a U.S. passport or a Certificate of Citizenship as far as I know. Under a law signed in 2000, foreign-born children become U.S. citizens the moment they are adopted by U.S. citizens. Unfortunately, social security still requires adoptive parents to get either a passport of certificate of citizenship to prove it.

[OldFriend]

I am so sorry that you feel so put upon that you are sorry you did the right thing. Can you get some help from your Church. Is there a community outreach in your area?

Please know that you are doing g-d's work.

[mamaduck]

No advice, but a big cyber hug and praise. Thank you for being a good person and doing the right thing!

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, People may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; Give the world the best you have anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is all between you and God; It was never between you and them anyway.
Written By Mother Teresa of Calcutta

[Gumdrop]

You are so right about the Mom's proof of citizenship. Children born outside the USA are citizens if their mother is a citizen. So, all you should need to do is get the proof that your sister is the Mom and she is a citizen. The get the adoption finished by getting her approval. My cousin had two daughters born in France in the 1960's. They had dual citizenship; when they became adults, they needed to renounce citizenship for France. It was not a problem for them.

[Sloth]

We could have easily let the child be a ward of the state and taken cash and health insurance. But, we didn’t think is was a state responsibility. It was a family responsibility.

All things being equal I'd agree, but think how much money the state has stolen from you to pay for other things that are not its responsibility.

Anyway, I have no special knowledge to give you advice, but kudos for taking on such a burden.

[TankerKC]

"heroine" = "female hero"; and that "heroin" = "addictive drug

Ouch. My bad.

[TankerKC]

I was under the impression that you got a $10,000 deduction for adopting.

I've never heard of that, but I need a SS number just to file and claim her.

[Iron Eagle]

That is a remarkable story, and you have done the right thing.

I am surprised that your adoption attorney did not or could not help you.

I suggest the following. Contact either legal aid in your home state, and see if you qualify for free legal assistance. They should be able to guide you through the process to get a SSN.

I assume the adoption was not completed? If it was, how was it done without establishing the child's residency?

I have done some pro bono work on Social Security appeals, and I can tell you that you are shoveling sand against the tide if you go to SS without counsel.

Since you are in the Military (thank you for your service by the way), you may have access to legal counsel or a legal referral service on base. Look there. The other suggestion on here worth while is writing your Congressman. Your post would make the start of an excellent letter.

Your story is compelling. You should direct your energies to getting pro bono help or Congressional intervention. You are now trading sand with social security.

With respect to your taxes, you should be able to file an amended return once all this is straightened out.

Good Luck.

[TankerKC]

The get the adoption finished by getting her approval.

The adoption should be final in March...but if our luck holds out, it won't work. The mom did not contest the adoption, but no one can find the father and that has held things up.

[TankerKC]

I am surprised that your adoption attorney did not or could not help you.

Me either. She still hasn't finished the adoption and we are already $2000 into fees with her. We just can't afford any more.

[VRWC_minion]

See this form at the IRS form W-7A

While an adoption is pending, a taxpayer may be unable to obtain an SS number. The other form to check is W-7, same IRS site W-7

Read instructions for both.