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IowaHawk -- Gore Files Suit In Lotto Dispute
IowaHawk ^ | 1/8/04 | IowaHawk

Posted on 01/07/2004 8:11:41 PM PST by FormerACLUmember

Cleveland OH - A lawsuit over ownership of the winning ticket in the Dec. 30 Mega Millions lottery was thrown into further uncertainty today, as former US Vice President Al Gore filed a civil suit seeking a share of the $162 million jackpot.

Filed this afternoon in Federal District Court, the suit names official winner Rebecca Jemison, litigant Elicia Battle, Lotto Ticket Systems, Inc., the State of Ohio, Ohio State mascot Brutus the Buckeye, store clerk Dipankhar Ghosh and Antonin Scalia as co-defendants. It seeks $81 million in economic damages, a "late model Dodge Stratus," unspecified pain and suffering awards, and presidency of Iraq.

"Irrespective of what the so-called ping pong balls say, the real winner was robbed," said Gore spokesman Chris Lehane.

While Gore's ticket matched on three of the winning numbers, entitling him to a $10 cash prize an a complementary 32 ounce Big Gulp, Lehane said Gore was entitled to a share of the jackpot because of "confusing ballot instructions and long lines at the register."

"Due to the ballot design Mr. Gore transposed '23' as '32'," he explained. "Plus, a honking car at pump six made him lose track of Tipper's birthdate and the number of times Al Jr. has been busted."

"The will of the people has been thwarted," said Lehane. "I can't even begin to tell you how many times he told me, and I quote, 'I am going to pick the winning ticket.'"


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: gore; iowahawk; megamoron; rererecount
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To: FormerACLUmember
And Dingle/Noorwood means nothing? SHAME on you Algore Jr, scumbag, commie, dean kissbutt, CLINTO HATER!!!
21 posted on 01/07/2004 9:52:28 PM PST by Mark (Treason doth never prosper, for if it prosper, NONE DARE CALL IT TREASON.)
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To: big ern
BTTT
22 posted on 01/08/2004 5:02:16 AM PST by FormerACLUmember (I say the emperor has no clothes. Doesn't anyone else see this?)
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To: secret garden
OwlGore meant to pick 13 the day of his birth, but wound up pick 31, Pat Buchanan's birthday....
23 posted on 01/08/2004 5:26:55 AM PST by NeoCaveman (se habla espanol)
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To: FormerACLUmember
Hysterical!

But the real reason Al didn't win was because too many military personnel were allowed to buy tickets...
24 posted on 01/08/2004 10:25:30 AM PST by talleyman (God bless FR & Merry Christmas!)
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To: FormerACLUmember
His padded oil stock is just not enough.
25 posted on 01/08/2004 10:28:31 AM PST by bmwcyle (Monica's Mom "Trust but keep verification in the closet")
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To: IowaHawk
How much will it cost to clean up your state after the RAT infiltration?
26 posted on 01/11/2004 6:24:17 AM PST by Libloather (DemocRATs - the biggest hate group going...)
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