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Yes, it is a vicious cycle. She was married also and was never a real threat to the marriage as far as leaving me for her goes. (Hard to explain but believe me, true)

I do realize the hurt I caused him. I even placed much of the blame on myself. A year later though, I find myself so angry at times. The whole he wasn't perfect, either, thing...

And then there's all the baggage that goes along with a 17 year marriage. Hard to pack it away and begin again. But that's what we'll have to do if we're going to make it.

Ah, well...life is tough and then you get married. ; * ) I completely understand what you're saying, and if nothing else it has given me a few more days of strength and patience. Thanks...

She was married also and was never a real threat to the marriage as far as leaving me for her goes.

This may be something else that women don't quite grasp, but the less likely he is to leave you for her, the more likely he is to want to continue the affair. Women want the relationship to have meaning, men just want the sex. The less likely it is for the sex to mean anything, the better for him.

I'm not saying this is the case, just that is something to consider.