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I enjoyed reading your post #517 as it offered some insight into what some women tend to think and want. But please can you tell me why it is often said, "It's the thought that counts" when it appears that what this really means is "You need to do a grand gesture for me to make me feel like a treasure?"

I completely understand your logic and it makes PERFECT sense. In fact, this has helped me understand the feminine mind. lol. But what I don't understand are the games that are often played between people, and the complete shock, disappointment, and disgust when we silly men fail to read minds and anticipate every need some women seem to require.

If you could do a follow-up and answer my question, I would greatly appreciate it. I anxiously await your reply :-)

I feel a little uncomfortable speaking for my sex, but since I did already :), I might as well try to be clearer.

It *is* the thought that counts. Men are simple creatures, at least according to Dr. Laura, and think, oh: pretty flowers, I'll pick some up to suprise my favorite and please her and get in her good graces. It worked the last three times!!! I'm on a roll.

Women, who torture men and most especially each other with extremely subtle, ingenious, and devious emotional machinations, are capable of doing so because they are wired up to globally evaluate WHAT EVERYTHING MEANS to her social interactions.

She will use all incoming data to figure out what you are thinking even though you aren't quite aware that you were thinking, or not thinking, about it. If you AREN'T thinking of something, that means you are thinking something ELSE. This could be good, bad, or indifferent, but it all MEANS SOMETHING. She's on the alert for your "thoughts".

So she thinks, the first time, OH! my love! He brought me flowers on impulse! How wonderful. He is at stage X of courtship and it means X and X and X. And, the flowers are nice, too.

The second time, she thinks, Oh, alright, flowers on impulse again. A sweet gesture, how nice. But its the same thing as before. What does it MEAN?!!! Let me appraise his decision making process. I wonder if he ever thinks about planning to get me flowers on purpose. I'd realy love to get something REALLY special that really MEANS something. I wonder if he knows that would make me really happy, and if he would do that. It would MEAN something.

The Third time.... Oh. convenience store flowers again. Does he think he has me figured out? ANother impulse purchase of cheap flowers, I wonder what that MEANS. Does he think he has me pegged. Doesn't he think about these things? If he doesn't that MEANS something. Is our relationship stuck at level X? What does that MEAN.

The fourth time... Oh man, he's NEVER going to go out of his way to get me the really nice flowers, where you have to pick them out and call ahead and I guess that's just too much trouble for him so that means he's not thinking about me and that MEANS something and he thinks he doesn't have to go the extra mile and why buy the good flowers when you get the cow for afterthought flowers and I guess that MEANS something, why is it that he hasn't done this or that doesn't he know what it MEANS, doesn't he think I'm good enough to move on to stage XXXX????

Basically, she wishes he'd put more *thought* into pleasing her, otherwise the flowers don't MEAN what she wants them too!!! :)