Why is it that going into marriage everyone in the world is trying to wave you off, warn you, kidnap you to an island, but every man is inevitably surprised when marriage turns out to be exactly what everyone told him it was going to be and she is just as much the witch as everyone said she would be?
Same goes for women.
I cannot say she was a witch.
I can say we both had deep, fundamental problems.
I know I am working on mine and I hope she is working on hers.
I've learned quite a lot from my experience. Besides the fact it gave me the impetus to finally get off of cocaine, which in itself is an amazing gift and wonderful miracle, it also taught me that I want a woman who is G-d fearing. It also taught me never to move into another womans house or apartment -- we get a place together, or forget it. It also taught me that I need to give more, to be more thoughtful of my mates needs and wants. In fact, I have a list of 10 points that it taught me in my Journal, of which only three are listed.
Tough times make for growth. My last year has been as tough as it can be. I have grown commensurately.
I had to learn that he loves me deeply even though he doesn't bring me flowers. Love is a feeling and he shows it in his own way. Then I had to learn how to recognize and accept his gestures of love for what they were. (He bought me a 16", $80.00 chef's knife for Christmas. How much more love and trust can there be, fer the love of Pete?!) In short, I had to learn how to ALLOW him to please me. The poor guy was trying.
He had to learn that when work was stressful he was to turn TO me, not ON me. I'm on HIS side. He also had to learn that it takes more than a paycheck to make a husband a good husband. The guy would kill himself working for me, but didn't know how to sit by the fire and have a mundane conversation.
Oh, and I had to learn how to stop b*tching so much! ;-)