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Dr. Laura Schlessinger: 'The Proper Care And Feeding Of Husbands'
WorldNetDaily.com ^ | Tuesday, January 6, 2004 | Dr. Laura Schlessinger

Posted on 01/06/2004 12:06:06 AM PST by JohnHuang2

'The Proper Care And Feeding Of Husbands'

Posted: January 6, 2004
1:00 a.m. Eastern

© 2004 WorldNetDaily.com

Why did you write this book aiming at the women – aren't both responsible for the quality of the marriage?

Of course! However, women are in the unique position of having an extraordinary amount of influence over their husbands, which when exercised thoughtfully, compassionately, lovingly and intelligently results in a happier husband who will "swim through shark infested waters to bring her a lemonade."

Women seem not to understand, or underestimate, the profound power they have over their husbands. Men are very emotionally dependent upon women from the day they are born to the day they expire. This book teaches women to use this power benevolently – which will definitely result in them being happier with life and love.

What are the most common complaints men have about their wives?

What are husbands' most important needs?

What is the No. 1 worst mistake women make with respect to being happy in their marriages?

They marinate in negatives. It is typical of women to fester and ferment over disappointments, slights, annoyances, angers, etc. Women, more typically than men, will go over it ad infinitum in the own heads, with their mothers, sisters, friends, co-workers, neighbors, social groups (remember Jerry McGuire?) – in doing so they reinforce the negative and create a bad attitude – one which turns into entitlement for not being particularly nice.

Attitude is about believing that your mate has your best interests at heart – it is about not letting loving feelings be squelched by everyday annoyances and disappointments; it is about benefit of the doubt; it is about cherishing the moments and living for the well-being of the other and being sustained by the joy of giving and the blessing of receiving in return.

All through the book you say "men are simple" ... isn't that an insult?

Not at all! In fact, most all of the many hundreds of responses I received from men in preparing this book confirmed just that: "Men are only interested in two things: If I'm not horny, make me a sandwich," and "As a man, I can tell you our needs are simple. We want to be fed, we want our kids mothered, and we want lovin'."

What about sex? Are wives obligated to give their husbands sex on demand?

As a woman who happens to believe that orgasms are a fabulous gift and blessing from God, I am amazed at how many women callers are willing to give them up to the gods of "I'm tired," or "I'm annoyed." Now, anyone cannot be in the mood from time to time – that's natural. However, the denigration of male sexual needs (They are just animals) and the use of sex to punish or control (You didn't do what I wanted) and inappropriate prioritizing (My work and children take all my energy) are self-centered and self-defeating.

I ask my women callers who complain that their husbands are not happy with virtually no sexual intimacy (and, by the way, that's what the men truly feel about sex with their wives – it's the ultimate in "acceptance and approval" for them) if they would be satisfied with that profound a rejection and dismissal. They always say, "No, I guess not." Frankly, too many women treat their husbands as accessories instead of priorities.

Are there any marital situations for which your book does not apply?

Yes, most definitely. Where the behavior of the husbands is blatantly destructive, dangerous or evil, this book does not apply.

However, these ideas and techniques have salvaged and revitalized innumerable strained, stagnant, boring, disappointing, annoying, frustrating and even seemingly dead marriages. When I nag a woman caller to try just one simple behavior for one day, I inevitably get the call back that they are amazed at the difference a day made.

Are you going to write the book for men on the proper care and feeding of wives?

Nope. Men are born of women and between girlfriends and then a wife; men spend their entire lives in the tutelage of women. What women accept or reject is largely the guiding force for what men will and won't do. When they are treated with the Three A's, they naturally, and in gratitude and affection, give their women the attention, regard, respect, support and love they want.

The ideas and techniques in this book are simple and sweet. What a blessing for women to know that they largely control their own happiness! My job is to get their prejudices and bad attitudes out of their own way. Transforming your guy into a loving man is its own reward.





TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial; Extended News; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: bookreview; drlaura; propercare
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To: Lazamataz
This one?
181 posted on 01/06/2004 1:04:33 PM PST by Conspiracy Guy (Lazamataz voted for Clinton Twice!!)
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To: Land of the Free 04
You stole my eight-inch black heels. I'm going to sue you in a court of heels.
182 posted on 01/06/2004 1:05:37 PM PST by Slip18
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To: technochick99
Yet I still see things splashed all about. Tell me hopespringseternal, what's a FReeper chick to do?!?

You should stop stop talking about it. Seriously. I was clueless as to the connection. All of the useful inferences were the result of your posts.
I may be dense in retrospect, but I prefer to think that a mild case of paranoia worked against you.

183 posted on 01/06/2004 1:08:39 PM PST by Publius6961 (40% of Californians are as dumb as a sack of rocks.)
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To: Slip18
You stole my eight-inch black heels.

No, I just took pictures of you wearing them.

184 posted on 01/06/2004 1:13:00 PM PST by Land of the Free 04
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To: Slip18
Combat boots and hot pants.
185 posted on 01/06/2004 1:13:06 PM PST by Conspiracy Guy (Lazamataz voted for Clinton Twice!!)
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To: Slip18
ROTFLMAO. If you LYAO what will hold your hot pants up?
186 posted on 01/06/2004 1:14:49 PM PST by Conspiracy Guy (Lazamataz voted for Clinton Twice!!)
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To: Chuzzlewit
Yes, I would have to agree about the "3 A's" being spot on. AND I AGREE WITH HER COMMENT: "Where the behavior of the husbands is blatantly destructive, dangerous or evil, this book does not apply." From experience I know this is so true. With that kind of man if a woman follows this advice she will only be hurt more: physically, emotionally, spiritually and socially.
187 posted on 01/06/2004 1:14:57 PM PST by aCookieMomster (If my people... will humble themselves and pray...then will I hear...heal their land. 2Chron7:14)
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To: hopespringseternal
Most will tell you they enjoy it, but for some reason that enjoyment doesn't translate to wanting it.

Oh, please. My wife harasses me incessantly.

188 posted on 01/06/2004 1:15:27 PM PST by Taliesan
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To: Eaker
Umm.. doesn't the Min-Pin constitute a concealed weapon?
189 posted on 01/06/2004 1:18:02 PM PST by Darksheare (System error. File 'tagline' not found.)
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To: Land of the Free 04
I want those negatives . . .
190 posted on 01/06/2004 1:18:49 PM PST by Slip18
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To: Taliesan
About wanting it or not enjoying it???????
191 posted on 01/06/2004 1:19:05 PM PST by chris1
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To: Conspiracy Guy
"If you LYAO what will hold your hot pants up?"

I'll get a pierced belly button button (ewwwwww and ouch) to hold them up.

192 posted on 01/06/2004 1:23:41 PM PST by Slip18
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To: Neets; null and void
I know, odd combo to ping.
But.. did either of you see this?
I'm chuckling, but also cringing because it honestly is too close to home in some ways.
I guess I'm looking for humor, or an opinion on this article from those I respect (and thought of first) to put things in perspective.
However odd that perspective might be.
*chuckle*
193 posted on 01/06/2004 1:23:48 PM PST by Darksheare (System error. File 'tagline' not found.)
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To: Chuzzlewit
They made a fairly decent movie of it, too - except there was none of the America adventure in it.
194 posted on 01/06/2004 1:24:10 PM PST by onehipdad
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To: JohnHuang2
Dr. Laura is starting to get on my LAST NERVE!
195 posted on 01/06/2004 1:25:16 PM PST by Saundra Duffy (For victory & freedom!!!)
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To: chris1
I completely understand your point of view. But what you have stated shows that sometimes, because men and women are wired differently, they have a hard time understanding each other. Some women are emotional- very much so. But as it is important for women to understand how men are different, they must, in turn, understand that we are emotional creatures. It is the basis for what makes us truly feminine.

Now, If I had a dime for every nagging female friend I knew who wasted time on petty things... Conversely, if I also had a dime for every man that instantly became neutered once they put on a ring... there is a happy medium, somewhere. Thank you for your post.

196 posted on 01/06/2004 1:26:02 PM PST by rintense
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To: Slip18
Tape works.
197 posted on 01/06/2004 1:26:27 PM PST by Conspiracy Guy (Lazamataz voted for Clinton Twice!!)
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To: Saundra Duffy
Why? Love relationships are supposed to be about both getting what they want. Women and men should both be more concerned about each others' needs than their own. Then, both will usually whind up getting like 80% of what they want and should be otherwise happy.
198 posted on 01/06/2004 1:27:05 PM PST by chris1
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To: rintense
Good points! But why is that we can discuss it here, but then can't apply it in real life when it matters most?
199 posted on 01/06/2004 1:28:41 PM PST by chris1
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To: JohnHuang2
Are there any marital situations for which your book does not apply?

Yes, most definitely. Where the behavior of the husbands is blatantly destructive, dangerous or evil, this book does not apply.

No, I won't say it.

200 posted on 01/06/2004 1:30:01 PM PST by Saundra Duffy (For victory & freedom!!!)
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