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Don't know if this one passes the smell test but good find.

I think I'll challenge the suggestions:

1. Get more sleep.. Eh, why stop there? Encourage hibernation! Sleeping for several days at a time would reduce food intake and waste disposal. Fewer work days and fewer commuters. Reduction of nearly all resources (except heating/cooling system).

2. Limit your circle of friends. Having fewer friends will minimize these problems and also help you save money by not having to buy so many presents for birthdays, anniversaries, and other interpersonal celebrations. Why not just encourage people to buy/make elaborate meals as a gift instead? Everyone has to eat sometime (except those who are hibernating). Concert/theater tickets and vacations are also gifts that can't be placed in a closet, garage, or city dump.

3. Think about a hobby. I said "think." Actually engaging in a hobby — model airplanes for example — can consume valuable resources and clutter up your house. Just encourage people to pick up an accoustic instrument or better yet SING. No clutter, just "noise" pollution but then again birds are guilty of this same "crime".

4. Support mime. Or streetfight mimes. Again, no props needed.

5. Control your elders. They've had their day and who cares what the 10 Commandments say. < /sarcasm > To curb such impulses, try to get your folks involved in activities that will keep them close to home. A new DVD player and a complete set of "Star Trek" episodes would be a good start. Other useful gifts might include a police scanner and an encyclopedia of magic tricks. Or just buy them an accoustic guitar or harmonica. Ask grandpa to tell you about what this country USED to be like before the socialists took over. The elderly can be a wealth of historical knowledge. Why turn them into couch potatoes watching Star Trek?

6. Wear gloves. Keeping your mitts covered during the day cuts down on washing, thus saving water and curtailing use of soap or detergents. Of course, everytime you went to wipe your eyes/face, you would have to take them off so that you don't contaminate these areas. Proper hygiene is not "debatable".

7. Stay calm. See suggestion (1) about hibernating.

Additional liberal suggestion. Abort all children. The sooner the human race stops walking the planet, the sooner mankind will stop "damaging" everything.