You Know You're Italian If...

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[Mannaggia l'America]

A little New Year's humor...

You Know You're Italian If...

1. You have many relatives named either Joe or Mary, and you have at least one brother named Joe
2. You grew up in a small house, but you still had two kitchens. (One was in the basement)
3. When you were growing up, you had five cousins all living on the same street
4. When you were growing up, you thought that all wine was red and that it only came in gallon jugs
5. If someone in your family grows beyond 6’ 2”, it’s presumed that the mother had an affair
6. There were more than 28 people in your wedding party
7. Your grandfather had a fig tree
8. You've always wanted a red Ferrari
9. When you were growing up, you ate Sunday dinner at 2:00 p.m., and on Thanksgiving, your family’s first course was Ravioli
10. Your big family gatherings were held in your garage
11. Your favorite movie is the “Godfather”, your favorite television show is “The Sopranos”, and your favorite singers are (in order) Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Jerry Vale, and Louis Prima
12. Connie Francis songs makes you cry
13. At least one person in your family does a great impression of Don Corleone
14. You’ve been hit with a spoon and/or you’ve been hit by a nun
15. You feel strangely comfortable when you sit on plastic-covered furniture
16. You know all the words to “That’s Amore”
17. You’re wife or husband wears a tee shirt that says “Pray for me, I married an Italian.”
18. You’ve been to the Vatican at least once
19. For a short time while you were growing up, you wanted to be a priest or a nun
20. When you were growing up, you thought Jesus was an Italian who lived in Israel
21. You fight over whether it's called "sauce" or "gravy"
22. Your mom's meatballs are the best!
23. If at least five of the above apply to you, congratulations!!! You’re Italian!

[time4good]

- I used to help my grandma put the wax lids on the jars of grapes from the vine.
- I used to help my mom lay out the lasanga noodles, grate the mozzarella(ate half)
- anyone else swipe three or four mouthfuls of sausage/meatballs from the pot running from the kitchen when grandma/mom yelling?
- explained to kid in school Caf' "we're having mahnahgot. 'Huh?' Manicotti... 'Oh.'"

[etabeta]

please post the receipe, I am interested and promise to make it (at least once). This thread has made me realize how different traditions are from one region to the next in Italy. I am from Rome and we truly never had any tradition to speak of, except braciole d'abbacchio or fish dishes on Christmas Eve before going to Mass. We never had a house full of relatives, games, fig trees and vegetable gardens to nurture....we lived the life of the big city and from your memories, I think I missed a lot.
Buon Anno a tutti!

[PJ-Comix]

What's that Italian bread full of chunks of meat called? I bought it once when passing thru Cherry Hill, N.J. but can't find it here in Florida. I would like to munch on it again.

[PJ-Comix]

24. Wouldn't be caught dead at the Olive Garden restaurant.

[Mannaggia l'America]

- anyone else swipe three or four mouthfuls of sausage/meatballs from the pot running from the kitchen when grandma/mom yelling?

My grandmother only made meatballs maybe two or three times a year. But she made about 50lbs of them at a time. She had a separate freezer just for the sauce and meatballs.

We would have "meatball" night - there would be a few pots of oil going on the stove with a giant pan to mix the meat, eggs, bread, etc. One of the older boys would come to mix up the meat, and then we would all sit around and roll the meatballs all night.

It wasn't very healthy, but we used to like to sneak a raw meatball and eat it. Then we would get yelled at because we were going to "get worms". Raw meatballs taste great!

- explained to kid in school Caf' "we're having mahnahgot. 'Huh?' Manicotti... 'Oh.'"

And you can't make a good hoagie without gobagool (capicolla).

[MadelineZapeezda]

Like other European- American kids, you couldn't sit on the couch because it was wrapped in plastic and you stuck to it!

[Radioactive]

You get upset with flat tires because they go WOP WOP WOP WOP WOP.

[exile]

Or you want to be an organ grinder when you grow up.

[showme_the_Glory]

27. You know Christmas Eve as "fish night". This means at least 5 different courses of fish. In fact, if it's a holiday, you must have at LEAST six courses.

At my house it's always been Cioppino on Christmas eve.

[dansangel]

LOL! (((((Carlo))))))

Not very many apply to my family, but I have *no* doubts that I am Italian - 100%.

I'm always tickled by tomato sauce being called "gravy." My family always called it "sauce." Is that a regional thing?

[StoneColdGOP]

I suspect wherever there's an Italian festival near you, you'll find plenty of these items. :)

As a matter of fact, L.A. just started one in Hollywood that's hosted by Jimmy Kimmel, Adam Carolla and Tommy Lasorda: Feast of San Gennaro

[retrokitten]

What's that Italian bread full of chunks of meat called?

I don't know. I'm Greek and my husband is Italian and we are the most non-ethnic Greek and Italian. I don't like olives or feta cheese and my husband doesn't like cannoli (I love it! LOL!).

I ping'd Carlo, he might be able to help you out.

[aquila48]

I don't know where to start - all the memories you're bringing back... i'm sitting here with a big grin on my face!!

Fava beans, castagne

Never, never call them noodles. And gravy? Are you crazy?

And the sauce is always red not white.

Freshly grated cheese - none of that pregrated stuff

2 marys no joes, but we do have a bruno and a graziano

Was an altar boy, the priest wanted to send me to the seminary to become a priest. Turned him down when I found out you had to wear a gown and couldn't have sex.

Had to kick my wine drinking habit when I came here at thirteen and my parents were worried the teachers might smell wine on my breath.

Mangia, mangia

Two fig trees (carracini), and several grape vines, lot's of fruit trees and tomatoes - and canned tomatoes.

I helped my uncle Graziano make wine in the cellar by stomping on the grape barefoot

Big meals lasted 3 hours. Neophyte american friends couldn't pace themselves, made it to the cannoli and espresso through sheer will power and gluttony - and of course lots of mangia, mangia along the way...

...and loud. Three passionate conversations going on at the same time. At the end of the meal you were stuffed and hoarse.

Turkey ravioli for thanksgiving.

Ma va a fanculo!

Bocce ball

My daughter is vegetarian (almost like being a protestant). My parents' idea of vegetarian soup is chicken soup with the big chunks of meat taken out.

Lots more rattling in my brain...

[stanz]

WOW! That must have been some fuzzy slippers party New Year's Eve!! :)

Nah...nothing that exciting...didn't sleep well last night.

[carlo3b]

What's that Italian bread full of chunks of meat called?

There are several different breads and rolls that have meat in them.. Stuffed Sausage and cheese.. A take-off on the original Calzone(Pre-Pizza), I have a great recipe for this and others that are a variation, another is a Spiral Focaccia, made with Italian bacon called pancetta.

The one I really enjoy is now commonly called a Grinder, with any number of variations of stuffings (meatball, sausage, ham and cheese, peppers and eggs.. etc), These are heated and the cheese melts inside with pizza sauce it is to live for..

Last and I think this is a real possiblity of what you may be thinking of is a Meat roll, a bread prepared with Italian seasoned ground meat, rolled up like a jelly roll and baked.. Different than the Spiral Focaccia by the seasoning and the meat is precooked.

[carlo3b]

ITALIAN SAUSAGE BREAD

• 1 loaf Italian bread
• 1 lb. Italian sausage, bulk, or links with casings removed (hot or mild)
• 1/4 tsp. oregano
• 1/2 c. chopped onion
• 1/4 tsp. garlic salt
• 1/2 c. green pepper, chopped
• 1 (4 oz.) can chopped mushrooms
• 1/4 c. Parmesan cheese
• 1 (8 oz.) cream cheese
• 1/4 c. water
• 8 oz. Mozzarella cheese, sliced


1) Brown and drain sausage.
2) Add onion, peppers, mushrooms. Cook until onion is tender.
3) Add cream cheese, Parmesan, water and seasonings. Stir over low heat to melt cheese.
3) Cut 1 loaf Italian bread in half, lengthwise. Hollow out the bread, leaving the crust intact.
5) Line shell with half Mozzarella slices. Fill with meat mixture. Top with remaining slices Mozzarella. Cover with bread crust, and wrap the bread in foil before baking.
Bake at 400 degrees for about 8-10 minutes. Remove the foil and continue for 1-2 additional minutes..
Serves 6.

[retrokitten]

Thanks! That sounds really good, too!

[CatoRenasci]

Actually, the Gallos are pretty much persona non grata in California. They detested, and were cordially detested by, the Italian community in San Francisco and in the wine industry. There were fairly serious allegations of unsavory ties back in the '30s, I wouldn't repeat them in any detail or comment on them in any way. In all fairness, after WWII, the Gallos built a very successful business and provided a sound commmercial wine product at a reasonable price. Wine for the serious oenophile it never was, but Gallo Hearty Burgundy in the mid-1960s sound, well-made, wine, clean and fresh without a whole lot of the fancy work that is sometimes necessary to make mediocre wines palatable. An entire generation first tasted wine through the Gallos, from the wine drinks to Hearty Burgundy, and went on from their to serious wine. (I have even spoofed snobs by serving it in a Romanee-Conte bottle and watched them rave!).

[jellybean]

didn't sleep well last night.

I'm sorry to hear that. When that happens to me I still wake up early, but have a good nap in the afternoon. LOL