The fruit police (you can't make it up fast enought)

The New Criterion ^ | 12/31/03 | Roger Kimball

[Valin]

A few years ago, my wife and young son, aetat. 2 and a half, visited some friends from England who were staying in Newport, Rhode Island. Soon after arriving, my wife pulled out a banana for our son. Before she could give it to him, our friend David exclaimed wonderingly about the fruit. She gave it to him and he held it aloft, gazing upon it as Hamlet gazed upon the skull of Yorick. "Our masters in Brussels," he said, "would not allow us to have such a banana." He then went on to explain how the food police of the European Union were enforcing all manner of rules and regulations promulgated by the appointed (that is, unelected) ministers of Europe's new bureaucracy. David told us how his family had been planting a certain type of potato for decades at their farm in Wales: no more. The EU ministers decreed that type of spud verboten. They had rules for hedges, lawns, sausages, and comestibles of every sort. It became a crime to sell a pound of . . . well, of anything: one had to adopt the metric system or go to jail. Bananas that deviated too much from the perpendicular were illegal. I am not sure what happened to bananas that were overly curvaceous: perhaps they were required to take Pilates.

It all seemed so . . . absurd. And so it was. Unless you were caught selling pound of beef or a bendy banana.

I had more or less forgotten this episode until my friend sent me an article from the December 19 issue of the London Times. The headline tells the tale:

Why is this banana legally curved instead of just crooked? Because it is the fruit of the finest judicial minds in Europe. Unfortunately, the article is available on-line only for a fee, but here is the gist: GOODBYE bendy bananas. Farewell curved cucumbers. So long chunky carrots. The European Union has finally triumphed in its quest to tame nature and keep unusually shaped fruit and vegetables off our shop shelves. The House of Lords yesterday ordered greengrocers across the country to obey every EU horticultural regulation passed over the past 30 years concerning fresh produce and conform to the myriad of rules covering size, length, colour and texture.

The law lords rejected the argument, put forward by the supermarket Asda, that a legal blunder in 1973 had made the EU laws unenforceable. Now greengrocers will have to ensure that under EU regulation 2257/94 their bananas are at least 13.97cm (5.5in) long and 2.69cm (1.06in) round and do not have "abnormal curvature", as set out in an eight-page directive drawn up in 1994.

The ban on bendy bananas was necessary, according to an EU Commission official at the time, to prevent them from being mistaken for a "bicycle wheel". Organic cucumbers will have to straighten up their act, as well. Any that curve more than 10mm per 10cm in length cannot be sold as a Class 1 product.

Peaches must not be less than 5.6cm in diameter between July and October, and Class 1 Victoria plums must measure at least 3.5cm across.

Carrots that are less than 1.9cm wide at the thick end are not allowed, except in baby varieties. Not unreasonably, however, red apples will be illegal if less than 25 per cent of the surface is red. Stephen Alambritis, from the Federation of Small Businesses, said that the ruling could ruin some retailers. "It is ridiculous to expect small shopkeepers to have to double check every single piece of fruit and vegetable before it goes on sale," he said.

"Small businesses have neither the manpower nor the resources to check something like that" -unlike the bigger supermarkets. They insisted that the regulations would make little difference to their working practices because they already adhered to all the necessary European directives.

[DUMBGRUNT]

From the article:"To be sure, it covers the surface of society "with a network of small, complicated, painstaking, uniform rules"--the last time I checked there were 185,000 pages of rules and regulations; the EU "does not tyrannize, it hinders, compromises, enervates, extinguishes, dazes" and so on"

How does 185k pg. compare to the blizzard of bs from the US bureaucrats?

[ijcr]

It was reported last week that an Austrian farmer, Johann Thiery, had been fined and threatened with prison for selling "apricot marmalade" made from a traditional Austrian recipe passed on by his grandmother.

Under EU rules "marmalade" can only be made from citrus fruit. Sternly defending Mr Thiery's punishment, a European Commission spokesman said: "The law is the law."

Next day Pedro Solbes, the EU's economics commissioner, was reported as defending the right of France and Germany to run up huge budget deficits, in flagrant breach of the Growth and Stability Pact.

"Given the circumstances we face," he said, "it would be unwise to follow the letter of the law." (Sunday Telegraph Christopher Booker's 26/10/2003 )

[Publius6961]

OK I give up.

Where's the "Onion" logo?

[Nick Danger]

Ummm, folks, stuff just this weird happens right here in the good old USA. A "peach" shall be yeah big and no smaller; any peaches smaller than that have to be burned... you can't just sell them for less. Ditto for plums, apples, and so on. We have plenty of our own Agriculture Nazis; we don't need to be laughing at theirs.

[dennisw]

The larger factor is that ugly fruit stays where it is grown. The better fruit is sent to other states where consumers demand perfection. Plenty of bargain priced ugly oranges and other citrus down here in Florida that are happily gobbled up by consumers. In California y'all must get great deals on apricots and such that aren't sent east since they don't look the best.

[mtbopfuyn]

Ummm, folks, stuff just this weird happens right here in the good old USA.

So true. However, the rules only apply to labeling. Fruit can be sold no matter what size or shape as long as it's not being labeled as "grade A" or whatever. I'm wondering if this EU law applies to the thousands of farm family roadside produce stands?

[secretagent]

The Blob gets bigger.

[farmfriend]

Rights, farms, environment ping.

Let me know if you wish to be added or removed from this list.
I don't get offended if you want to be removed.

[Quix]

SHRILLERY'S GLOBAL GOVERNMENT is so proud of it's initial accomplishments in Europe. Aren't you thrilled that she too is sooooooooooooo eager to bring such thoughtful idiocy to our shores.

Gag me with a crooked banana!

[Pan_Yans Wife]

So all the food grown that doesn't comply with the regulations must be destroyed?

What about shipping it overseas for humanitarian relief?

[gitmo]

From the title, I thought this was an article about police enforcing homosexual rights or maybe cracking down on gays. Then I realized it had to do with groceries (and hedges???). Then I got to this section:

GOODBYE bendy bananas. Farewell curved cucumbers. So long chunky carrots. The European Union has finally triumphed in its quest to tame nature

Now I'm totally confused.

[Nick Danger]

the rules only apply to labeling. Fruit can be sold no matter what size or shape as long as it's not being labeled as "grade A" or whatever.

Perhaps my comment is unique to California, where I lived for twenty years:

The particular problem is fruit, slightly "undersized" peaches and nectarines grown in California. Since the 1930s, the Secretary of Agriculture has been setting minimum size standards for peaches and nectarines. Any fruit even microscopically below the minimum size and weight set by the government is illegal and must be destroyed by the farmer, under pain of severe penalties.

It's not that these slightly smaller peaches and nectarines are unsalable to the consumer. On the contrary: most people, including trained fruit pickers, can't tell the difference visually, so they are forced to use expensive weighing and sorting machines. It is estimated that, during the 1992 growing season in California, fruit growers will be forced to destroy no less than 500 million pounds of this undersized fruit.Source

[tertiary01]

Apricots are just as expensive in stores in California as in other states, because all the duds go to the canners. They are even expensive at the farmers markets (if you can find them).

[E.G.C.]

BTTT!!!!!

[okie01]

"I'm wondering if this EU law applies to the thousands of farm family roadside produce stands?"

The answer is "Yes".

And the answer would be "Yes" even if the family roadside produce stand were giving away the merchandise.

[dennisw]

If not apricots then I sure hope Californians get the apples deemed too ugly to ship out of state or abroad. Real deal ripe apricots are my favorite and I manage to get them every few years here in Florida. All California grown of course. Last summer they were from 1 to 1.50 dollars per pound in Stiles market which has low prices, quick turnover

[dennisw]

No way, I don't believe this can or does apply to a farmer's roadside stands. If so I am amazed.

[okie01]

I'm reasonably certain that it does.

The EU's regulations tend to be universal -- no exceptions for number of employees, gross sales or marketing area.

Whether they are enforced or not... Ach, that is another matter, is it not?

[Dan Evans]

Why???????

Economic protectionism. More evil than it is stupid.

Suppose you are a greedy carrot farmer in Belgium and you happen to know that most of the carrots grown in England are a different shape than the variety you grow. All you need to do is beg or bribe the Eurocrats to pass a regulation giving your carrots preference.

NAFTA is the same way. You don't need a document the twice the size of the NFL rulebook to say "free trade". But you do need a lot of ink to give protected markets to all the vested interests. All this does is establish a huge, entrenched bureaucracy that can never be abolished.

[F.J. Mitchell]

The EU has misinterpreted the Parables. It is obvious they read, "The meek shall inherit the earth" as "The freaks shall rule the earth".