You'll have to handle this one.
The smart-assed answer that immediately comes to my mind is that you don't see it because you don't pay attention.
There are those of us who do take issue with those who make derogatory comments.
I can't speak for everyone at FR. But what I can tell you is that like any community, there are all types of people on FR. There are those who paint all blacks with a broad brush, and those who are more inclined to deal with indivduals as opposed to generalities.
There are some people here with whom I choose not to converse with on a regular basis, due to their proclivities. As long as I stay upwind of 'em, I don't have to deal with 'em.
There are some windmills that I refuse to battle, and other points that I take issue with regularly.
And while we're at it - the term "handkerchief head" that you use (ostensibly to refer to blacks who refuse to take issue with what you percieve as racist comments), is, in and of itself offensive and racist.
Personally, I'd prefer that you not use it.
Getting back to some of your other points, I was lucky enough to have parents who emphasized history, in and of itself. In my home town, black history was pushed. Of course the primary focus was during "black history month" (i.e., February), but my teachers made sure that we knew that OUR history was part of AMERICAN history.
There are important milestones in American history that were fostered by blacks. We should be proud of those moments, just as we should be proud of milestones that are not tied specifically to blacks.
Does this mean ignoring our "cultural" heritage? Not at all. Much as Americans of Polish descent take great pride in the contributions of Revolutionary War hero Cashmir Pulaski (for example), so should we in the accomplishments of blacks throughout history.
This does not, on the other hand, mean that we should wallow in the bad times and misfortunes that our forefathers endured. That is one of the biggest mistakes that black America perpetuates today.
Unfortunately, due to that overall "mistake", many of today's youth; including those in primarily black schools; have no clue as to who some of the American accomplishments belong to - even if the person in question is black. There were many scientists, businessmen, farmers, educators, or in other words, many people who contributed (and contribute) to the American experience who are black. They should be celebrated as Americans.
Do racial problems like profiling exist? Certainly. Are there individuals who think of terms solely based upon race? Absolutely.
But that does not count for most of America. Progress has been made. But to hear some tell it, we are just as bad off today as we were 150 years ago. They prefer to wallow in their inadequacies as opposed to acknowledging and continuing the progress already made.
I believe in the good in people -- all people. Good is not a racial construct. It is not limited to one race or another.
And I do my best to be good - to be as Christ-like as I can - to, and with, all people. I want my children to have more than I had. I want to leave this world a better place than when I entered it. I want my children to understand and know where we as a people came from and how far we have come. I want my children to be a positive part of the America to come.
In terms of education, this means that I - as a parent - must take an active part. That is my responsibility. No one else's. And I expect no less than that from any other parent.
Now, if that makes me a bad person - a "handkerchief head" to use your description - then the problems in America run far deeper than any addressed here.
You'll have to handle this one.