How You Can Become a Metrosexual (ick alert)

Netscape ^ | 12/28/2003

[Utah Girl]

There is no one hipper than a metrosexual. A who you say? A metrosexual is a straight, urban male who is eager to embrace and even show off his feminine side. That means he gets expensive haircuts, wears designer suits, and uses $40 face cream. And thanks to a certain type of male celebrity, it's now cool for a man to own 43 pairs of Bruno Magli shoes, wear moisturizer, and paint his nails. You're not born a metrosexual. You become one by learning and living by basic rules of fashion, culture, and etiquette. Some say the metrosexual is the new male ideal. (Not to put any pressure on you.) If you're at a loss as to how to do that, you can read all about it in the first-ever guidebook, "The Metrosexual Guide To Style: A Handbook For the Modern Man" by Michael Flocker.

Find out who is and who isn't a "metrosexual"--and maybe figure out if YOU are one!

Metrosexuals DO This:

Invest lots of money in nice accessories, such as watches, designer sunglasses, and money clips.
Clothes should conform to your body. Get tailored suits.
Your belt and shoes must always match. (Black on black works best.)
A silver, stainless steel watchband is a must-have.

Get it from Amazon.com: "The Metrosexual Guide To Style: A Handbook For the Modern Man"

Metrosexuals DON'T Ever Wear This:
Plaid flannel
Pirate shirts

Pleated pants
Mullets
Sport watches
High school or college class rings

Surprise! It's not money or good looks. What women want most in a man is...

[Rebelbase]

F*CK. Is it just me or is this word F*CK gaining acceptance in this forum? F*CK!

And whats with the * ? Does it mean "I", as in "FICK"?

Or maybe its an "A", like "FACK"?

Or an "O", like "FOCK"

or a "Y" like "FYCK"

Could you be meaning "U"?

[FITZ]

this emasculator features a double crushing

Their mothers already did this when they raised them to play with Barbie dolls instead of trucks and trains.

[InShanghai]

I must be old fashioned! We called them pussies too! My favorite is still poofter - I've got an Aussie friend that uses that term and it kinda sticks...

[uglybiker]

got a Microtouch Men's Personal Groomer for Christmas. The question is will I be one if I use it.

Uhh....no. Don't worry about it. (*sort, snicker, snicker*)

[Lil'freeper]

Ping!

Heh heh heh

[sweetliberty]

"That means he gets expensive haircuts, wears designer suits, and uses $40 face cream. And thanks to a certain type of male celebrity, it's now cool for a man to own 43 pairs of Bruno Magli shoes, wear moisturizer, and paint his nails."

We always had a name for that kind of man.....pimp.

[sweetliberty]

"Do you really want to look vibrant, soft, and supple?"

ROTFL! Now that thought is indelibly stamped in my brain and will activate whenever I see the term "metrosexual" from henceforth.

[sweetliberty]

"3. An ounce of image is worth a pound of performance."

That's a good one.

[sergeantdave]

Metrosexual?

Sounds like something that runs on diesel fumes and carries winos and socialist city planners.

[sweetliberty]

"The Metrosexual Guide To Style: A Handjob For the Modern Man"

LOL! You guys are on a roll this morning.

[FLAMING DEATH]

You forgot boots.

[FLAMING DEATH]

sorry...didn't see your post.

Yes, from about October until March, aside from dress shoes that I wear to work, my main footwear is boots...a nice pair to wear everyday, and an old pair that I use for working outdoors in the slop.

I would say waders qualify as pants. They look like pants.

[BlueNgold]

Heterosexual: Wake up late, shower at your girlfriend's, proudly tell the guys at work to smell your hair because it gives you the opening to brag about staying over at 'her' place...
Metrosexual: Wake up late, shower at her place, spend your lunch hour looking for that 'fantastic new shampoo', buy a case...
Homosexual: Fantastic? absatively... New? Please honey I designed that scent laaast year ...

[Jim Cane]

I guess I'm bi. Except for the investment in accessories, I do all the metro dos and don'ts posted. I discovered early on that chicks dig a man in a well tailored suit AND a guy in smooty nomex.

[Noumenon]

Carhartts, Danner boots and Timberline hiking shoes are my usual. I still have a couple of suits, sport jackets and some nice shits for the appropriate occasion, though.

[sticker]

I was wondering what waders qualified as, after standing waist deep in cold water for a couple of hours yesterday I thought they might qualify as the mark of being brain dead:)

[TontoKowalski]

I discovered early on that chicks dig a man in a well tailored suit AND a guy in smooty nomex.

Hell, you must be some kind of smooth operator. What is a smooty nomex and where can I get one?

[FLAMING DEATH]

I could say that, but I would be implicating myself as well.

[gatorbait]

metrosexual=candya$$

[petercooper]

You are either gay, or you're not.

No such thing as effeminate males.