Man says he gave wife toilet seat as gift

NJ.COM ^

[Sub-Driver]

LONGMONT, Colo. (AP)

[phil1750]

I got the wife a much needed, new, (expensive) vacuum cleaner one year for Christmas. Came real close to having to calculate child support for 4 kids that year.

[blau993]

Basic rules of spousal gift-giving:

Household appliances are NEVER acceptable

Jewelry is ALWAYS acceptable

I find that living my life according to simple maxims such as these makes the process so much less complicated.

[sonserae]

My mom wanted a toilet seat and a trash can with wheels on it for her birthday. Dad got it for her. A few years ago I asked dad what he wanted for his birthday and he said, "batteries and 2 bags of fertilizer". I couldn't believe I gave my dad cow manure for his birthday. Some people are just practical sorts!

[Old Professer]

Buy more doors?

[Old Professer]

Don't you just love Home Depot? I've got a new motto for them: The store where once always means more.

[exile]

speaking of strange gifts, when I was in school, my best friend gave my sister a toaster and a can of Fix-a-flat for her tenth birthday. Everybody thought it was hilarious.

[TontoKowalski]

An amendment to you basic rules: Never gift your wife with anything that plugs in.

Sound advice from my father that I've adhered to for ten years now.

I've actually expanded the basic idea to say, "Never buy anything practical." My wife once told me she wanted a new electric skillet. I told her to go buy one for herself. My gifts to her include Channel No. 5, books, jewelry, and the like.

I avoid anything with a size. Generally things turn out OK.

When she asks me what I want, I'm very specific. There's a new Craftsman something-or-other on sale at StoreX. I saw the sale paper. I'd like a new Taylor Made Driver. Go to Golfstore Y and ask for Jim. He has the one I want behind the counter.

[mountaineer]

I'm with you. Practical gifts suit me just fine. If my husband gave me jewelry, I'd be disappointed because it's nothing I want, need or would wear. Give me something I can eat or with which I can cook, garden or do home repair, and I'm happy!

[blau993]

When she asks me what I want, I'm very specific. There's a new Craftsman something-or-other on sale at StoreX. I saw the sale paper. I'd like a new Taylor Made Driver. Go to Golfstore Y and ask for Jim. He has the one I want behind the counter.

This is a very good practice. My wife is a pretty good pianist, and one year I gave her a new piano for her birthday -- a nice one too, a Steinway grand that still graces one end of our living room. As my birthday approached in December, I happened to mention casually that it was starting to get cold and that I needed to get a hooded sweatshirt for my morning walk/run. When I got the nicely wrapped sweatshirt as my birthday present, she must have noticed that I looked a little underwhelmed. Her response was "Well, that was the only thing I heard you say you wanted."

Moral of the story -- Specificity is good.

[linn37]

I got a toaster for Christmas one year......lets just say he's more considerate now.

[freesia2]

Let's just say that the next time my Mr. Clueless hopefully suggests I go buy whatever I want for my gift, I'll be more appreciative.

[Hap]

It's probably a good thing DBS isn't staying with us this week after all. Bacon's parents bought us some gas logs for Christmas and I'm not sure it would be safe with Salty's aromatic gifts! :)

[avg_freeper]

I've never understood how anyone could willingly use a bidet. I bet Dante would of devoted a stanza or two to the "Toilets that Squirt Your Naked Derriere With Water" circle of Hell.

[NittanyLion]

The feminine mentality: If it's expensive, it's acceptable, even if it is a toilet seat. Whether it costs a lot of money, time, blood, sweat, tears, whatever... just so long as he suffers for me in some way.

And I believe the correct answer to the statement, "I want you to suffer for me in some way." is "I married you, didn't I?"

[dbwz]

Basic rules of spousal gift-giving:
Household appliances are NEVER acceptable
Jewelry is ALWAYS acceptable

My husband flat-out refused to get me practical things like appliances for gifts, even though I told him many times that I would have a great deal of appreciation for such things. He always said we could get those things any day.

We did reach a compromise of sorts - I've gotten guns for Christmas & birthday.

:-)

[MediaMole]

I asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas.

She said, "Just get me something expensive that I dont need."

So, I bought her chemotherapy.

-- Emo Phillips

[ChefKeith]

Well I'm off the hook.

Just got finished with a complete rebuild on the main bath (including floor joists) and put in new everything w/whirlpool tub and all.

[biffalobull]

Well, my Uncle once gave my Aunt a mop for Xmas....she didn't talk to him for 3 weeks. He thought he was being practical (the old one was in sad shape). I thought the whole thing was funny...

I'm with your Uncle. He was being practical.

The first year we were married, I thought being my wife liked to cook so much, I got her a 25lb. sack of flower, wrapped it up and put it under the tree.

Needless to say I had a peanut butter sandwich for Xmas dinner

[biffalobull]

We have an agreement that we buy what we need (or want, within reason), whatever time of year it is. Nobody agonizes over what to buy, and nobody's disappointed.

You are right on the money. Waste not want not, my dear old Mother used to say.

My wife said She wanted a new Chevelle for Xmas. Being an illiterate from the farm, I went to Home Depot and asked for a new Chevelle.

When I brought home a new "Snow Chevelle", my wife was not impressed.

[Tax-chick]

I'm not sure I'd recognize a Snow Chevelle, but then we live in the south.