Man says he gave wife toilet seat as gift

NJ.COM ^

[Sub-Driver]

LONGMONT, Colo. (AP)

[Lil'freeper]

*cringe*

Have I mentioned *it* is hanging on the wall of *her* office?

[Aquinasfan]

I'd rather my husband picked up a library book he knew I wanted, than spent a bunch of money on something useless!

You're as sensible as my wife. We rarely exchange gifts at Christmas. I got a deal on a treadmill a few months ago and my wife said, "we'll count this as your Christmas present." I said, "Fine." She found a deal on some jewelry earlier this year and she said, "I got your Christmas present for me." "Thanks honey!" (Usually she has me covered right up through next Christmas 8-)

I mean, come on. Do people really get worked up about this stuff?

[djf]

Was it kevlar reinforced? With titanium screws?
How much is it worth to provide for her girth?
Maybe it was one of those triple wide "Custom" models.

[Crawdad]

Tinkle-me-Elmo's are very popular in some places.

[Aquinasfan]

Never can have enough shims is my motto.

Yes you can! I only needed a handful to put in a door but had to buy the 50-pack at Home Depot. What am I going to do with the other 45?

[RosieCotton]

Heh...wondered if I'd find you here! I was gonna ping you if you weren't...

[fporretto]

My Dad once bestowed upon me a set of Guidelines for Gift Selection that I've never yet departed from:

1. Don't get him something related to one of his enthusiasms. The odds are overwhelming that, if it's good, he has it already. And if it's schlock...need we go there?
2. Don't try to guess what he wants. No one is honest about what he wants, except in the instant he pulls out his credit card.
3. Never get him something he needs. That's like saying he can't see to his own needs, a terrible insult in any culture.
4. Get him something you would like to get. The odds that he'll appreciate it are no worse than they would be for any other gift-selecting strategy, and there's a bonus: if he doesn't like it, you can keep it for yourself.
5. In keeping with point 4 above, keep the receipts. Don't give them to your giftees.

I use these rules to guide my gift selections for all my friends. What's that you say? How many friends do I have? What a strange question! Why do you ask?

(tee hee)

Freedom, Wealth, and Peace,
Francis W. Porretto
Visit the Palace Of Reason:
http://palaceofreason.com

[Rebelbase]

You should see my ex-MIL open presents on Christmas day:

"No, I'm sorry, this just isn't me, I would never wear anything like this, I'll take it back".

[Crawdad]

Oh yeah, there is a ten cubic yard dumpster (no pun intended) sitting in my driveway right now filled with junk. The guy comes to pick it up today. That's one of the gifts my wife wanted, and got, for Christmas.

[Johnny_Cipher]

What am I going to do with the other 45?

Think "Indestructible Elevator Shoes"

[Lil'freeper]

Might as well ping the 'pod since he works for *her*, too.

[Tax-chick]

Some people seem to get very worked up; I just don't get it.

We have an agreement that we buy what we need (or want, within reason), whatever time of year it is. Nobody agonizes over what to buy, and nobody's disappointed.

[e_engineer]

Wood Shims?

[hobbes1]

Most men love to receive tools as gifts, but give one to a woman and it's grounds for divorce.

I dont know.Everytime I give a woman a tool for Christmas i get a rather nice thank you....Maybe it just depends on the tool....

[joesnuffy]

This year I'm not getting my wife anything for Christmas...
Last year I gave her a beautiful cemetery plot
which she refuses to use...
Rodney Dangerfield

[Agnes Heep]

Everytime I give a woman a tool for Christmas i get a rather nice thank you....Maybe it just depends on the tool....

Just don't forget the batteries.

[hobbes1]

I run on Beer. ; )

[shiva]

I don't understandley people using first names for surnames?

LOL! It's mom amd dad that do that. Most parents are young when they pick out a name for their kids. What I hate is when they pick one out one so long that takes the kid 30 minutes to write it out.

[Explorer89]

Most men love to receive tools as gifts, but give one to a woman and it's grounds for divorce.

Hey! I was installing a carseat in Mr. Explorer89's SUV, and saw a laser-level in the back....I KNOW that is one of my Christmas presents, and I am PUMPED.

(But then again, I've been known to hot-wire vacuum cleaners, too......)

[TexRef]

I agree. This year I'm going to give Mrs. Exile a shiny new mop and bucket, and maybe a new ironing board cover. I know it's a bit extravagant, but she deserves it.

Now we know why you're in exile.