Get the 'Man' Out of Manicure (Or: Goodbye, Metrosexuals!)

New York Post ^ | 12.21.2003 | Karen Robinovitz

[FierceDraka]

I myself am an unrepentant Neanderthal. Sure, I know how to dress and groom myself, but I'm more like early 1960's Dean Martin meets punk rock meets hip-hop.

I think it's funny as hell that the prissy, wanna-be gay guys are being dissed by the ladies. It reminds me of that episode of South Park where all the men in town became metrosexuals, and the Queer Eye for the Straight Guy Fab Five were actually CRAB PEOPLE. LOL

[IronJack]

He did, however, admit to using concealer to cover a bruise he got while playing paintball.

If this clown ever showed up at my local paintball field, I'd put enough on him that he'd have to buy his "concealer" by the drum.

[thoughtomator]

"It's annoying to be surrounded by so many metrosexual men!" says Theresa, a 26-year-old event planner who asked that her last name not be used. "I was actually out on a date with a guy who asked, 'Who designed your pants?' Shouldn't he just be happy that I look good in my pants?"

A real man would tell her how good her pants look... on his bedroom floor ;)

[IronJack]

I buy Aramis creams and under-eye lotions. But the word 'metrosexual' is not manly."

Psssst, Pansy ... neither is using Aramis creams and under-eye lotions.

[FierceDraka]

If he were a real man, he'd be wondering what she looked like without her pants.

HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW! Great point! I like the cut of your jib.

[isthisnickcool]

Oh, I get it, it's like the old "gosh he's gorgeous, too bad he is gay" thing. These guys act "gay" but they are not. So, these women have a "man" that acts queer and at the same time they have a "girlfriend" that they can bed too.

Weird.

[sweetliberty]

"I want to get manicures with my girlfriends, not my boyfriend."

LOL!

"But the word 'metrosexual' is not manly."

Well DUH! All this, and a real genious too.

"He e-mailed me photos of shoes."

I think this guy's problems are a little deeper than being "metrosexual." ROTFL! Women don't even send girlfriends pictures of shoes, well, unless there is a good reason to....like shopping.

Looks like Howard Dean picked the wrong time to declare himself a metrosexual. LOL! There goes the "babe" vote.

Another curse of the feminazis.

Laugh ping to a few very NOT metrosexual men (and a few girlfriends too). Thank God there are still some real men around.

[FierceDraka]

LOL! Zappa got it right, Uncle Meat.

[dc27]

Did he have a seat belt for the milk crate?

[stylin_geek]

Actually, these gals are upset because if they attend a party with these guys, the other gals will not be commenting on what they (the gals) wore, but on what their dates wore. These gals don't like dating a guy that, from a fashion and maintenance standpoint, does it better than they do. I mean heck, what's left for them to nag about, if their guy dresses and is more socially aware than they are?

[sweetliberty]

"Or come to Lambeau Field for a late- November or early- December Packers game"

Or rural Arkansas...(avoid Fayeteville though).

[Hillary's Lovely Legs]

I don't recall if there was a seatbelt. I know that I had to hang on to the dash, which was easy since he didn't had a door on his glove compartment. I couldn't sit in the back seat because it was so full of crap. His main focus of conversation was about his mother's Waterford chandelier.

I still don't consider it as bad as the guy who picked his nose while eating a Blooming Onion at the Outback.

Since then, I have never touched a Blooming Onion again..

Oh, and then there was the parchute jumper I went out with last year who made sure that I knew that he didn't wear underwear on a daily basis. That was a big treat.

I hate dating.

[sweetliberty]

"All noises coming out of women's mouths claiming that they do not like this stuff may safely be ignored."

Well, I'm a female and I certaily do NOT find that type of guy attractive. Vanity is most unattractive in a man. Oh sure, a man should be clean and have some concern for his appearance, but that's entirely different. You ought to leave this one to the ladies to decide, Nick....unless you're a metrosexual that is.

[FreedomPoster]

So what are some key questions to screen out metrosexuals and identify real men?

I'll offer a few:

1) Does he change personally the oil in his car?

2) Does he get his hair cut by a guy with a name like "Fred" in a place with a barber pole out front?

3) Can he field-strip for cleaning at least two from the following:
a) M1911
b) Any model Glock
c) AR15/M16
d) AK47 & variants
e) Remington 700
f) Remington 870 or Ruger 500

4) Does he have fewer than 7 "products" on the bathroom vanity (typically toothpaste, shaving creme, soap, shampoo, deodorant, and no more than *one* post-shampoo hair-care product).

5) Can he readily, with tools and materials already at hand, install a new light fixture to replace an old one. Triple bonus points if he can install one where there was no fixture to begin with.

I'm sure we can think of a few more.

You are of course looking for "Yes" answers to the above.

[petercooper]

As Jeff from 'Curb Your Enthusiasm' says, "There's no such thing as an effeminate man, you're either gay or you're not".

[sweetliberty]

But have you had one who showed up for the first date with his 3 kids and his mama? Yes, that really happened.

[dc27]

Hopefully he didn't dip his finger in the special Bloomin Onion sauce.

[DouglasKC]

If there was a buzzword of 2003, it was "metrosexual" - used to describe the alarming amount of straight men who delight in traditionally female pursuits like yoga, pedicures, facials and sample sales.

lol...I wasn't even aware of this trend until about 3 weeks ago and now it's getting a backlash. I couldn't figure out why a guy would want to dress to appeal to homosexuals.

My metrosexual behavior consists of showering daily, applying deoderant, brushing my teeth, combing my hair and getting dressed. No tanning, no gel, no makeup, no eyebrow plucking.

[Nick Danger]

You ought to leave this one to the ladies to decide, Nick....unless you're a metrosexual that is.

I'm too old to be a metrosexual. I'd get it wrong and end up looking like Liberace. But if I was 25 or 26, I would go with what works. You ladies never tell the truth about what you want. You say this, but you do that. A man either figures that out early, or he might as well go join the priesthood.

If these guys are primping like a bunch of queers, it's because it works. You may not like it, but I was 25 once, and I can assure you that they wouldn't be doing it if it wasn't the fastest way to get the ladies into bed. Perhaps it leaves you cold. But there are women out there buying this, and in large numbers, or it wouldn't be happening.