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My depression was not 'organic' in that I didn't have a physical ailment causing it. I was abused by a relative and severely bullied in school, and so problems I didn't know how to handle were causing my depression. For me, depression was like the stages of an avalanche. Once I started the downward slide, there was no stopping it. When I was depressed, I felt like I was underwater or getting some perverse vietcong drown torture. I hate to sound like a walking cliche but it's true about feeling like you're in a bottomless pit.

In my post above I don't mean that depression can't be caused by childhood abuse, or an abusive spouse, or whatever. I just mean that we can't take our inability to help someone over the internet, especially when we don't know there's a problem, so much to heart that we feel responsible for not somehow making it all better.

Huh, very interesting personal perspective. Thanks. I'm glad you made it passed it. But it's something I have a hard time fathoming.

My mother tried when I was still in high school...I remember coming home from my part time job because sis had called. A vacuum cleaner hose ran from the tail pipe to the window. Her drink and cigarettes sat beside her in the seat. I was furious. I had no sympathy. What about the people who love you? I screamed. I could see nothing but her self pity...

Today, I often find myself in her place. In a pit which you find it hard to claw your way out of. I don't think I made it clear that she didn't die at that time, but some years later from cancer. I miss her terribly..but often I can relate to her depression and her hatred of this world...I still can't relate to how she could have done such to her children, but the fact is, she didn't. There are those that do...evil will attack in any way possible. For some of us it attacks in a manner which makes it appear there is no way out.