Replies

Merry Christmas everyone! Marilyn is still with us this Christmas morning, ‘tho her time left is very, very short. She is being well cared for; is quiet and peaceful. The only thing she personally hand-wrote on her pre-printed health care directive was ‘to be kept free of pain and be provided with comfort measures until her passing’. That is happening now.

Marilyn liked Christmas songs, not Karen Carpenter, Nat King Cole or Marvin Gaye. Christmas was her favorite holiday. I’d do the meat and potatoes and she did the desserts. Chocolate covered pears, cakes and cobblers, handmade marzipan, and tray after tray of cookies … all sorts of cookies. Last year she made so many cookies that I was giving trays to all the neighbors and even the school bus driver.

She decorated her home grandly for both Christmas and Halloween. And she received an award from the mayor of her town in New Jersey one year for the best decorated house. Although I did bring a radio to the hospice yesterday, it was unnecessary. The hospice staff already had Christmas music playing in her room. I read aloud from “Freddy Goes to Florida”, a book she and my grandson had started to read together but never finished.

NO medical professional of any import and integrity would offer a medical opinion or advice over the INTERNET. None.

I do NOT have a medical background and I appreciated EVERY bit of medical opinion, advice, encouragement, … and all prayers I received from my fellow Freepers. It has been a comfort to me. I believe the prayers brought Claudia here to us.

Also, I have used this thread to keep family and friends up-to-date, it was less exhausting than sending individual emails.

Marilyn has no health insurance, no Will and apparently the family siblings (if still alive) are removed, isolated and incommunicado. There's a mother, and an older brother in New York who is really stepping like a man it seems. Is there an estate, a life insurance policy or annuity in effect?

Although separated by miles, our family is very close. Mom, who has dementia, lives with me. Last night I had to finally tell her that Marilyn was dying and my son-in-law drove her to the hospice so she could say ‘good-bye’.

My daughter and her family have a home on my property. My daughter is due to have a baby in January and Marilyn kept saying: “tell her to hurry” … she wanted to see the new baby. Marilyn lived about 6 miles down the road from us.

My brother is in New York. I don’t understand you comment about my brother “stepping like a man”. He was concerned about the level of care she was receiving in Ocala, as was I.

Marilyn did not have health insurance, but there is an estate: will, life insurance and annuity. I don’t know what will happen with them. Medicaid told me to “liquidate” her assets until there was only $5,000 left. I was unable to do that … not enough time … so I imagine the state will take her estate to pay her medical bills. I’ll look into that later.

Heavenly Father, we return to give You thanks for the love that surrounds Marilyn as she approaches her home going. Thank You for family and friends ... so much love is evident here, Gracious God ... may Marilyn's heart be filled with the joy of their presence. Even as we grieve, we do so with knowledge that You are Eternal God and that Your children know that absent from the body is present with the Lord. Touch each one, I pray, with comfort and assurance, in the Name of Jesus, Amen ...

PLEASE SEE UPDATE FROM Beach_Babe POST 347

(Below is just my response to her.. it is Christmas Day..and she has updated us all. I'm leaving for my family gathering, and below is my response to Beach_Babe. You can go directly to Post 347 for her update).

Hi Sweetheart;

It sounds like once again, Hospice is giving the kind of care that I've always known them to give. From the years I worked with them, I know that they understand pain control and comfort for the dying like no one else. Hospice knows how to help people die in peace. Everything they do, is about "caring". The whole experience is about making the journey pleasant, not only for the patient, but for the family members involved. Imagine the word "pleasant" being associated with "dying"..and it seems impossible.. but hospice pulls it off as only Hospice can. I'm so relieved that Marilyn is out of pain, and peaceful now.

I'm so sorry you "felt" you had to defend ANYTHING you have done. You DON'T!! Everything you have done from DAY one has been unbelieveably loving and extremely HONORABLE. I have known so many families in my years working in and around medicine, and you are just amazing!!

Had it been my sister, brother, Mother, Father, or loved one of any type.. I would have tried just as desperately as you have tried, to figure this all out. I am so sad you had to read the things you did.. just remember this is the internet, and we cannot control all who write things on an internet forum. But the overwhelming majority of people have been loving wonderful people. So please don't let ONE person, diminish or overshadow all the GOOD that has been written and all the PRAYERS sent to you.

I can assure you.. should the day come that someone in my family needs help like your sister did.. I'd try exactly what you did!!! I wouldn't limit my resources either.

FReepers have always been more than willing to TRY to put our minds together and to help. We may not figure it out.. and sadly we couldn't with Marilyns situation. But we did try. I'm so thankful for the good decent people on this board.

((((((Alice))))))) No one knows your sister like you and your family do. My heart,... "our hearts" go out to you, your brother, your sweet Mom who you care for.. and all your family. May your last days with Marilyn be sweet ones. Please kiss her on the cheek for me and know you all remain in my prayers.

AND THANK YOU FOR SHARING THESE BEAUTIFUL MOMENTS at Hospice with her. Moments being completed (finishing "Freddy Goes to Florida") Happy times, like her winning Best decorated house at Christmas time, and LOVING Christmas music, so playing it, and how the Hospice staff is playing it!! So many things that aren't sad.. but are happy and loving! She is such a giving person. The "Grand" cookie master too :o)

I also believe our prayers were answered in bringing Claudia to you.

I ALSO know that Marilyn has one AWESOME sister,... and that Marilyns mother has one awesome daughter (I didn't realize you were taking care of Mom ((((Alice)))). The more I learn about you.. the more amazed I am about you.

God Bless you and we will be watching for news when you can update us.

Mary Ann

Heavenly Father, we come before you now to thank you for Claudia's life. Thank you for the wonderful sister she has been given, by You! Lord, we're all hurting with her that her sister is being taken from her so early, but we also KNOW that this is in Your hands...YOU know what's best even though we don't understand it.

Please give everyone the strength to see this through. Please give everyone the KNOWLEDGE they need, the doctors, the nurses, and Claudia's family.

Lord, if it IS Your will, please heal Claudia. Please make her whole and well. And Lord if you choose to take her Home to Heaven, we know that she WILL be whole and well.

Thank you, Father for letting us come before Your throne with our prayers. Thank you for being born a baby and yet our Savior. Thank you for being our God.

In Jesus' Name,
Amen

I'm praying for Marilyn, you, and your family, and Claudia. May God give you all comfort at this difficult time. What a lovely, special woman Marilyn is.

B_B, I've prayed for Marilyn with tears, and tears are flowing as I read your post, and write this response. It is a difficult thing to lose a loved one. My continued prayers are with you all.

Thank you for sharing the pics of Marilyn, and telling us something about her. She sounds like a wonderful sister...just as you are. I'd hope that my sisters would try so hard for me, as you did for her, if I should ever need it. God bless you, your family, and friends of Marilyn.