U.S. Citizens Must Be Protected, Controlled, Regulated and Intimidated For Their Own Good

I am sad to report that Mexico is the most criminal of countries. Let me illustrate.

Suppose that you were subject to, say, horrendous sinus infections or earaches. In America, by law you would have to get an appointment with a doctor, $75, thank you-when he had time, how about day after tomorrow, whereupon he would give you a prescription for amoxicillin, fifteen bucks and a trip to a pharmacy. If this happened on a Friday, you would either slit your wrists by Saturday evening to avoid the torture, or go to an emergency room, however distant, where they would charge you a fortune and give you a prescription for amoxicillin.

In Mexico, upon recognizing the familiar symptoms, you would go to the nearest farmacia and buy the amoxicillin. The agony would be nipped in the bud (presuming that agony has buds). The doctor would not get $75, which is against all principles of medicine. The pharmacist would not lose his license, as he would in the United States.

Another grave crime here is horse abuse. Often you see a Mexican father clopping through town on an unregistered horse-yes: the horror-with his kid of five seated behind him. A large list of crimes leaps instantly to the North American mind. The kid is not in a governmentally sanctioned horse seat. He is not wearing a helmet. The father is not wearing a helmet. The horse is not wearing a helmet. The horse is not wearing a diaper. The horse does not have a parade permit. The horse doesn´t have turn signals. The father does not have a document showing that he went to a governmentally approved school and therefore knows how to operate a horse, which he has been doing since he was six years old.

In Mexico, if you want to ride a horse, you get one, or borrow one. If you don´t know how to ride it, you have someone to show you. Why any of this might interest the government is unclear to everybody, including the government.

You see. Here is the dark underside of Mexico. People do most things without supervision, as if they were adults.

This curious state of affairs, which might be called "freedom," has strange effects on gringos. Shortly after I moved here, I began to hear little voices. This worried me until I realized that I was next door to a grade school. Daily at noon a swarm of children erupted into the street, the girls chattering and running every which way, the boys shouting and roughhousing and playing what sounded like cowboys and Injuns.

In the United States, half of the boys would be forced to take drugs to make them inert. If they played anything involving guns, they would be suspended and forced to undergo psychiatric counseling, which would in all likelihood leave them in a state of murderous psychopathy. Wrestling would be violence, with the same results.

Here you see the extent to which, narcotically, Mexico lags the great powers. The Soviets drugged inconvenient adults into passivity. America drugs its little boys into passivity. Mexico doesn´t drug anyone.

In fiesta season, which just ended, everybody and his grand aunt Chuleta puts up a taco stand or booze stall on the plaza. Yes: In front of God and everybody. These do not have permits. They are just there. If you want a cuba libre, you give the nice lady twenty pesos and she hands it to you. That´s all. There is in this a simplicity that the North American instantly recognizes as dangerous. Where are the controls? Where are the rules? Why isn´t somebody watching these people? Heaven knows what might happen. They could be terrorists.

If you chose to wander around the plaza, drink in hand, and listen to the band, no one would care in the least, in part because they would be doing the same thing. If you didn´t finish your drink, and walked home with it, no one would pay the least attention.

In America this would be Drinking in Public. It would merit a night in jail followed by three months of compulsory Alcohol School. This would accomplish nothing of worth, but would put money in the pockets of controlling and vaguely hostile therapists, and let unhappy bureaucrats get even with people they suspect of enjoying themselves.

Mexicans seem to regard laws as interesting concepts that might merit thought at some later date. There is much to be said for this. The governmental attitude seems to be that if a thing doesn´t need regulating, then don´t regulate it. Life is much easier that way.

If a law doesn´t make sense in a particular instance, a Mexican will ignore it. Where I live it is common to see a driver go the wrong way on a one-way street to avoid a lengthy circumnavigation. Since speeds are about five miles an hour, it isn´t dangerous. The police don´t patrol because there isn´t enough crime (in my town: the big cities are as bad as ours) to justify it. It works. Everybody is happy, which isn´t a crime in Mexico.

I could go on. In Mexico, legally or not, people ride in the backs of pickup trucks if the mood strikes them. This is no doubt statistically more dangerous than being wrapped in a Kevlar crash-box with an oxygen system and automatic transfusion machine. They figure it is their business.

Here is an explanation of Mexican criminality. The United States realizes that a citizen must be protected whether he wants to be or not-controlled, regulated, and intimidated in every aspect of everything he does, for his own good. He must not be permitted to ride a bicycle without a helmet, smoke if he chooses, or go to a bar where smoking is permitted. He cannot be trusted to run his life.

Have you ever wondered how much good the endless surveillance, preaching, and rules really do? In some states your car won´t pass inspection if there is a crack in the windshield. There are-I don´t doubt?-studies measuring the carnage and economic wreckage concomitant to driving with a cracked windshield. Presumably whole hospitals groan at the seams (if that´s quite English) with the maimed and halt.

Or might it be that the rules are just stupid, the product of meddlesome bureaucrats and frightened petty officials with too much time on their hands? Maybe it would be better if they just got off our backs?

In fiesta season, which just ended, everybody and his grand aunt Chuleta puts up a taco stand or booze stall on the plaza. Yes: In front of God and everybody. These do not have permits.

In Santa Maria, CA, with it's heavily Mexican population, BBQ stands are set up Saturday on just about every corner on Broadway.

I live in NC now and thought of doing the same thing here in our little town since I can't find a da*n job. So I made the mistake of visiting the County Health Department to see what would be required to get a permit to do that.

I would have had put up a screened enclosure with fly fans, hot and cold running water and a sink to wash my hands. The temperature of the water would have to be monitored. I would need a refrigerator (also monitored), and restroom facilities.

All food would have to be prepared in a Class A restaurant - no food prep on site. Neither could I sell any food containing mayonaise.

Needless to say, I have forgotten about that idea.

Oh yes, my brother told me that the city fathers in Santa Maria tried to do the same thing to the BBQ stands there. They were gone for about a month, until the local population revolted and demanded that they be allowed to return.

http://www.santamariatimes.com/articles/2002/08/17/news/export4045.txt

Crackdown on catering trucks

By Jasmine Marshall and Elizabeth Rodriguez / Times Staff Writers

SANTA MARIA -- Catering trucks have become so popular with Santa Marians, some restaurant owners are thinking of foregoing their more expensive rent and overhead in favor offering a moveable feast. Others are fed up with the trend because they say the trucks are flouting health and operating codes while cutting into their business.

"Many of my permanent facility operators have said they want to sell and get a truck because they just can't make it," confirms Richard Furtado, an inspector for Santa Barbara County's Environmental Health Department, which handles permits and inspections for the food industry.

One restaurant owner who doesn't plan to sell her business and buy a truck is Petra Hernandez. With her husband, Hernandez operates the El Rey Del Taco restaurant on West Main Street. She's fed up with catering truck operators who she says have set up permanent shop at several locations on Main Street and Broadway.

"These trucks are here all the time. Morning, noon and night. They don't move," said Hernandez, showing a photo she recently took documenting a catering truck open for business and serving a customer after dark.

The city of Santa Maria does not permit catering vehicles to sell food between the hours of 6 p.m. and 7 a.m. The trucks are also not supposed to be parked for more than 30 minutes at any location on public streets. Catering vehicles parked on private property must have written permission from the owner and cannot stay for more than 70 minutes before moving to another location for at least two hours.

Hernandez said that isn't happening. She claims catering trucks are operating like restaurants, not moving at all.

"It isn't fair to those of us who follow the laws and codes," Hernandez said. "If you get your permits and follow the laws, then fine, I have no problem with you. But many of them (catering trucks) aren't. They don't pay for business licenses or go through the same health inspection process."

While catering vehicles are supposed to be inspected on a yearly basis, it's up to the operators to come in and apply for the permits, Fertado said.

"A lot of them are not being inspected," said Furtado. "It's on their honor to come in and get the permits, and they don't always."

Many of the catering trucks appear to be coming from Southern California, as are produce trucks, ice cream carts and corn vendors, hoping to capture the lucrative market of Santa Maria's Latino immigrant population. "Coyotes" often bring up newly arrived Mexican immigrants, desperate for work to sell food on the streets. Their customers may be purchasing snow cones, meat or corn kept in unsanitary conditions, but they rarely file complaints with his department, Furtado said.

Spurred by complaints by permanent restaurant owners like Hernandez, Santa Maria's code compliance department has asked the Santa Maria Police Department begin investigating whether the catering trucks violating the law. It won't be the first time the issue has been brought up according to Wendy Stockton, senior deputy city attorney.

"It's cyclical," said Stockton. The city typically investigates and prosecutes catering trucks violating city codes after receiving complaints from business owners like Hernandez.

Some catering truck owners said they follow guidelines to run their business and have no fear of a city crackdown.

The owner of Nohely's Hot Lunch, parked on Main Street, said he has had commercial permits for many years. He did not give his name. Though he did not wish to show the permits, he insisted he does indeed have permits.

"I don't know what you're trying to get at, but otherwise how could I be here," he said in Spanish.

At 3:30 p.m. Friday afternoon Nohely's Hot Lunch was parked at the corner of Kathleen Lane and Main Street. The owner of the truck said he doesn't stay there all day, he moves further west on Main Street where the farm workers are.

Delfino Cuevas, owner of Tacos y Mariscos El Rinconsito de Mexico, was eager to show his permits from both Santa Barbara and San Luis Obispo counties. Cuevas said, in Spanish, he takes his truck to San Luis Obispo during the day and comes to Santa Maria in the evenings. He said he moves around different parts of town approximately every hour and added he knows of catering trucks that stay in one location all day.

The food he serves, Cuevas said, is bought at La Chiquita Market and cooked in the truck. He said he has a permit to cook in the truck as well.

Alfonso Navarro, who works for the Tacos y Mariscos El Tapatio, also known as "A Touch of Class," also had no qualms about showing his permits from Santa Barbara County and Santa Maria. He said they have unannounced health inspections, and "that's good," he said in Spanish.

The "Touch of Class" truck is plugged into an electrical outlet in the parking lot of Calderon's Tires. Navarro said the truck owner has a symbiotic relationship with the owners of the tire shop: The catering truck employees keep the tire shop bathrooms clean and the truck can use electricity.

Another employee of the catering truck said the best way to know whether or not a catering truck has a permit from the health department is to look for a sticker similar to that of a Department of Motor Vehicles license plate tag.

Policing the catering trucks is difficult for the Santa Maria Police Department, when officers already have their hands full dealing with crimes and safety calls, said Sgt. Scott Vales.

But Hernandez said the issue is important, especially as merchants like herself are trying to revitalize northwest Santa Maria.

"This isn't how we want Santa Maria to look," she said pointing at a photo of a catering truck. "We're the All-America City, but this makes us look like East L.A."

* Staff writer Jasmine Marshall can be reached at (805) 739-2219, or by e-mail at jmarshall@pulitzer.net. Staff writer Elizabeth Rodriguez can be reached at (805) 347-4580 or by e-mail at erodriguez@pulitzer.net.

August 17, 2002

hmmm, well that works for antibiotics, but a quick scan of feed stores indicates they don't carry PPA.

Apparently nobody cares if livestock has allergies. It's sort of like the Elvis version of Old McDonald. "If that cow gets out of line....Hamburger Medium Rare."

Elvis Presley
Old MacDonald
Written by - Randy Starr

Old MacDonald had a farm
E I E I O
And on that farm he had some chicks
E I E I O
With a cluck, cluck here, a cluck, cluck there
Loud as they could be
And when those chicks got out of line
Chicken fricasee
With a cluck, cluck here, a cluck, cluck there
Loud as they could be
And when those chicks got out of line
Chicken fricasee

Well, Old MacDonald had a farm
E I E I O
And on that farm he had some cows
E I E I O
With a moo, moo here, a moo, moo there
Cattle everywhere
And when those cows got out of line
Hamburger, medium rare
With a moo, moo here, a moo, moo there
Cattle everywhere
And when those cows got out of line
Hamburger, medium rare

Oh...well, Old MacDonald had a farm
E I E I O
And on that farm he had some pigs
E I E I O
With an oink, oink here, an oink, oink there
Pigs everywhere in sight
And when those pigs got out of line
Pork and beans at night
With an oink, oink here, an oink, oink there
Pigs everywhere in sight
And when those pigs got out of line
Pork and beans at night

Well I'm gonna have a farm one day
E I E I O
And I'll do things McDonald's way
E I E I O
With a cluck, cluck here, a cluck, cluck there
A moo, moo here, a moo, moo there
An oink, oink here, an oink, oink there
And I can promise you
If those animals ever get out of line
We'll have a mulligan stew...
How about you?
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