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Palestinian woman kills daughter to restore family's 'honor'
http://www.charlotte.com/mld/charlotte/news/ ^

Posted on 11/18/2003 7:10:32 AM PST by Stew Padasso

Palestinian woman kills daughter to restore family's 'honor'

BY SORAYA SARHADDI NELSON Knight Ridder Newspapers

ABU QASH, West Bank - Rofayda Qaoud - raped by her brothers and impregnated - refused to commit suicide, her mother recalls, even after she bought the unwed teenager a razor with which to slit her wrists. So Amira Abu Hanhan Qaoud says she did what she believes any good Palestinian parent would: restored her family's "honor" through murder.

Armed with a plastic bag, razor and wooden stick, Qaoud entered her sleeping daughter's room last Jan. 27. "Tonight you die, Rofayda," she told the girl, before wrapping the bag tightly around her head. Next, Qaoud sliced Rofayda's wrists, ignoring her muffled pleas of "No, mother, no!" After her daughter went limp, Qaoud struck her in the head with the stick.

Killing her sixth-born child took 20 minutes, Qaoud tells a visitor through a stream of tears and cigarettes that she smokes in rapid succession. "She killed me before I killed her," says the 43-year-old mother of nine. "I had to protect my children. This is the only way I could protect my family's honor."

The guilty brothers are in jail.

Qaoud's confessed crime, for which she must appear before a three-judge panel on Dec. 3, is one repeated almost weekly among Palestinians living in the West Bank, Gaza Strip and Israel. Female virtue and virginity define a family's reputation in Arab cultures, so it's women who are punished if that reputation is perceived as sullied.

Victims' rights groups say the number of "honor crimes" appears to be climbing, but at the same time, getting little attention. Israelis and Palestinians are too busy with political and military issues to notice what they dismiss as domestic disputes, says Suad Abu-Dayyeh, who works for the Women's Center for Legal Aid and Counseling in East Jerusalem.

Poverty and war have exacerbated the problem, says Nadera Shalhoub-Kevorkian, a social work and criminology professor at Hebrew University in Jerusalem and an expert on violence against women.

"Men do not have any power except over women," she says.

Police in Israel investigated at least 18 honor killings in the past three years.

Palestinian police reported 31 cases in 2002 - up from five during the first half of 1999 - the last time such incidents were counted before the current Palestinian uprising began, according to the center's study.

But the number of killings is likely higher, given that Palestinian police investigate only crimes that have been reported, said Yousef Tarifi, the Ramallah prosecutor assigned to Qaoud's case. Shalhoub-Kevorkian says her past research showed the likely number to be 15 times higher than the number of reported cases.

Legal authority on the West Bank has been weakened by Israel's military crackdown, and the growing influence of militant Islamic factions has led clans to dole out their own justice. "In this chaotic situation, every man who thinks he knows a little bit of the Quran … thinks honor issues are supposed to be resolved by killing," says Shalhoub-Kevorkian, who adds that leading Muslim clerics in Jerusalem and Jordan have denounced such killings.

Qaoud says her husband, Abdul Rahim, 52, told her the Quran forbade such killings. But neither his pleas nor those of Palestinian crisis counselors swayed her. "Why did she accept what happened to her?" Qaoud asks. "Even a wife can tell her husband `no.' "

According to court records, Rofayda was raped by her brothers, Fahdi, 22, and Ali, 20, in a bedroom they shared in the family's three-room house. On Nov. 26, 2002, doctors at a nearby hospital who were treating Rofayda for an injured leg discovered she was eight months pregnant.

Palestinian authorities whisked her off to a women's shelter in Bethlehem, where she gave birth to a healthy boy on Dec. 23. He has since been adopted by another Palestinian family, court records show.

Rofayda, meanwhile, wanted to return to her parents in the Ramallah suburb of Abu Qash. Ramallah Gov. Mustafa Isa called a meeting with the family and village elders, demanding they pledge in writing not to harm the girl. "He asked me if everyone in the family and the village would promise not to bother this girl, but I told him I couldn't give him a guarantee," Abu Qash Mayor Faik Shalout says.

Rofayda returned home in late January without notifying the authorities.

The shame was unbearable, Qaoud said. Relatives and friends refused to speak to her family. Her elder daughters' husbands wouldn't allow them to visit because Rofayda had returned home.

On Jan. 27, Rofayda sent word that she was in danger to crisis counselors at Abu-Dayyeh's center in East Jerusalem. They, in turn, called Palestinian police in Ramallah, who have jurisdiction over Abu Qash. The police said they couldn't get to the Qaoud home because of Israeli checkpoints.

Qaoud, meanwhile, sent her husband, who suffers from heart disease, to a doctor in the nearby village of Bir Zeit. Her three youngest children went to a cousin's house.

At 11:30 p.m. she killed Rofayda, court records show. Tarifi says he's convinced Qaoud had an accomplice, but Qaoud insists she acted alone.

Qaoud turned herself in and, after four months in jail, was released pending the resolution of her case.

While honor killings committed in the heat of the moment - for example, by a husband who catches his wife in bed with another man - generally carry a six-month to one-year jail term, Qaoud will likely be sentenced to three to five years in prison, Tarifi says. The fact she is a mother who was trying to protect her family's honor mitigates the crime of premeditated murder, which is punishable by death under Palestinian law, he adds.

The brothers are serving minimum 10-year sentences in a Palestinian jail in the West Bank city of Jericho for statutory rape of a relative, Tarifi says.

No trace of Rofayda or her brothers remains in the family home. Qaoud says she ripped up all of their photographs and burned their clothes. The bedroom in which she killed her daughter is now a storeroom.

Erasing the memories is harder, she admits. She eases her pain by doting on her three children still living at home, especially the youngest, Fatima, 9, whom she lavishes with kisses. The children say they've forgiven Qaoud and return her affection.

"My mother did this because she does not want us to be punished by people," Fatima explains with a shy smile. Leaning into Qaoud's arms, the little girl adds: "I love my mother much more now than before."


TOPICS: Crime/Corruption; Culture/Society; Foreign Affairs; Government; Israel; News/Current Events; War on Terror
KEYWORDS: honorkilling; palestinianhonor
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To: Ditter
Makes me furious then when Americans defend these monsters as being 'oppressed' -- they are CHOOSING to be oppressed by living like animals. "Kill or be killed" "If it feels good, do it" - they aren't any better than the excesses they see in the 'great Shetan' (America) that they purport to hate so much.
21 posted on 11/18/2003 7:55:53 AM PST by Terriergal (Psalm 11: 3 "When the foundations are being destroyed, what can the righteous do?")
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To: Hodar
over and over that our culture is not superior to any other culture; they are just 'different'.

Well, we have our problems too -- you know, like not giving enough welfare to the poor, etc... [/sarcasm]

To be honest, though sure we have people that are violent, that exploit and abuse others - but we don't have explicit religious and governmental sanction of such behavior as yet (except in the case of unborn babies).

22 posted on 11/18/2003 7:57:48 AM PST by Terriergal (Psalm 11: 3 "When the foundations are being destroyed, what can the righteous do?")
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To: Terriergal
This post needs to be saved so that we have a ready reference when we say our culture is superior and we really need to win this war.
23 posted on 11/18/2003 7:59:21 AM PST by KC_for_Freedom (Sailing the highways of America, and loving it.)
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To: Terriergal
West Bank - Rofayda Qaoud - raped by her brothers and impregnated

Was this in West Virginia?

24 posted on 11/18/2003 8:01:02 AM PST by from occupied ga (Your government is your most dangerous enemy, and Bush is no conservative)
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To: Terriergal
At least, in the Old Testament, when a girl was raped (Dinah) her brothers went out and killed the rapist and all his friends.
25 posted on 11/18/2003 8:01:23 AM PST by Alouette (My son, the Learned Elder of Zion)
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To: netmilsmom
and her unborn child.

Story says child was adopted.

26 posted on 11/18/2003 8:04:45 AM PST by TheOtherOne
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To: Terriergal
odd/irrational

That works. So does sick, sad, stupid, dumb, moronic...... Just think, middle eastern countries are full of these kinds of people wanting us to change and follow Alah, or they kill us. Too bad the alphabit news stations won't speak to this because the pacifist folks really ought to understand what confronts us.

27 posted on 11/18/2003 8:10:33 AM PST by drypowder
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To: Stew Padasso
Well, it should be noted that she's going to jail for this for some years, so its not like this is condoned.
28 posted on 11/18/2003 8:11:18 AM PST by XJarhead
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To: XJarhead
"Qaoud will likely be sentenced to three to five years in prison"

That is not punishment.
29 posted on 11/18/2003 8:16:00 AM PST by Stew Padasso (Head down over a saddle.)
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To: TheOtherOne
I'm sorry, I was so credulous I missed that the child was adopted. Thanks for the correction!
30 posted on 11/18/2003 8:17:02 AM PST by netmilsmom (Lost my 4th E-Bay auction, Kid's sick, Dad in CA & out of coffee - Just shoot me now!)
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To: Stew Padasso
Is honor a concept worth dying/killing over?
31 posted on 11/18/2003 8:17:05 AM PST by stuartcr
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To: MEG33
I just can't understand how this culture was evolved It hasn't evolved one bit, it's primitive and barbaric. (but a peaceful religion of course)
32 posted on 11/18/2003 8:17:15 AM PST by Moleman
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To: stuartcr
Is honor a concept worth dying/killing over?

You bet it is.

The real question is, what kind of a barbaric culture could imagine that killing your own daughter after she was raped BY YOUR OWN SONS could restore any sort of "honor"?

Western Judeo-Christian culture is superior to Middle Eastern Islam. It just is. (And if that makes me a racist, so be it.) But no world leader today--not even the majority of Jewish and Christian leaders--has the nads to say this truth.

When Ann Coulter said, "We should kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity," she was closer to the truth than many people care to think about. At least, we need to break the stranglehold Islam has over these people and give Christianity a chance to take root.

}:-)4

33 posted on 11/18/2003 8:35:37 AM PST by Moose4 ("The road goes on forever, and the party never ends." --Robert Earl Keen)
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To: Moose4
Who gets to determine the definition of honor and what it takes to restore it?
34 posted on 11/18/2003 9:06:56 AM PST by stuartcr
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To: KC_for_Freedom
It's very sad that it even has to be said. :-( It seems pretty obvious when you look at the facts.

Then again, the libs are working to even the playing field and make our culture just as bad as everyone else's.
35 posted on 11/18/2003 9:39:19 AM PST by Terriergal (Psalm 11: 3 "When the foundations are being destroyed, what can the righteous do?")
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To: drypowder
odd/irrational

That works. So does sick, sad, stupid, dumb, moronic

I tend to understate at times for effect. :-)

Too bad the alphabit news stations won't speak to this because the pacifist folks really ought to understand what confronts us.

Most people (including the media) are in denial that there is real human evil in the world - they always want to blame someone else and think that if X person would just stop being 'bad' to another person, then person Y wouldn't grow up to be bad. It ain't that simple, and besides, if you always can blame someone else for the evil you do, then the ones you blam can do the same, and nothing will ever be solved.

But the media sits and plays "see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil" when it comes to REAL evil. Instead they vilify those trying to do good, and call it evil.

36 posted on 11/18/2003 9:43:11 AM PST by Terriergal (Psalm 11: 3 "When the foundations are being destroyed, what can the righteous do?")
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To: netmilsmom
the child was born. this is after the birth that she returned, and was later killed.
37 posted on 11/18/2003 1:20:26 PM PST by MacDorcha
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To: Stew Padasso
Well at least look at the bright side, she decided not to use the baby as a suicide bomber.
38 posted on 11/18/2003 1:23:30 PM PST by dfwgator (All I want for Christmas is for Ron Zook to stay as head coach (at least till next year))
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To: stuartcr
yes. but they dont know what honour is. i doubt they ever will.

for example. in the japanes culture, suicide is the only response to significant disgrace. (the kind that would jeopordize your family or a figure head). thats fine by my standards, even though i do not wish nor will i practice it. however. murder, especially of a family memeber has never been seen as honourable. the only honourable killing comes in war or necessity.

i just write this case off as a woman having a 15 years later abortion. she didnt want to cope with it, so she took a life rather than love it.
39 posted on 11/18/2003 1:26:15 PM PST by MacDorcha
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To: Stew Padasso
it's punishment over there, but it still isnt enough. the jails over there dont know about human rights, which is good, but its only 5 years. make it 50 and we'll talk.
40 posted on 11/18/2003 1:29:01 PM PST by MacDorcha
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