Posted on 11/14/2003 6:02:16 AM PST by Theodore R.
Looking for love - in many places Cheyenne native travels country to meet women he met through Web site
By Allison Fashek rep8@wyomingnews.com Published in the Wyoming Tribune-Eagle
CHEYENNE - Like most people who use Internet dating services, Kevin McMindes was a little leery about the idea at first.
An outdoorsy guy who wears his stubble well, the 30-year-old McMindes was talked into the venture in June by a good friend from his days at Montana State, Kristen LaRue.
"I'd heard that on a lot of sites, guys are married but still looking for somebody, or they say they're 6 feet, 3 inches, but they're really 5 feet, 5 inches," said McMindes, who grew up in Cheyenne and played football for Central High. "If she hadn't signed me up, I'd never be on this site."
What's unique about the Web site McMindes has been using, www.greatboyfriends.com, is that he has no control over his dating profile. A female friend must recommend a guy to the site and gets to describe him, warts and all, to other subscribers. The idea is that a woman would never tell another woman to date a complete jerk, or at least knowingly.
Only a few months after first signing up, McMindes decided to take a chance and meet some of the women he's been chatting with online and on the phone.
He's taken time off from his job as a computer consultant in Bozeman, packed up his Ford Explorer and embarked on a cross-country trip - mainly because the Web site doesn't seem to have many subscribers from Montana or the surrounding area.
So far McMindes has met up with women in Chicago, Boston, New York City and Alexandria, Va. After a visit with his parents in Cheyenne, he will travel to Colorado and California for a few more dates.
But this isn't exactly "The Bachelor" or any other dating game show, McMindes stresses.
"'The Bachelor' has three weeks to get to know the women, goes on five or six dates with them and has an unlimited amount of money," he said. "For me, I'm meeting them for maybe four hours for coffee."
In other words, he's not planning any proposals beyond possibly meeting up again. And in terms of money, McMindes is paying for most of his own expenses, with the Web site chipping in for gas and occasional journal entries he is posting.
Cande Carroll, who runs the 250,000-subscriber site with her sister, Elle magazine advice columnist E. Jean, said she thought McMindes' idea was one worth supporting.
"He is the first one who actually said, 'I'm in a remote part of the country, I've corresponded with so many nice people, and I've decided I'd like to meet them,'" Carroll said, adding that a lot of subscribers tend to avoid swapping e-mail with people on the site who live far away.
Unlike on a dating show, many of the women McMindes approached about visiting expressed concerns about having their privacy invaded, not wanting to be on camera or have their dates documented or discussed online.
Some questioned McMindes about how he planned to handle going on dates with 12 women, and a few said they decided they didn't want to be part of the road trip at all.
"There's been some interesting dynamics in trying to handle this," he said. "It's not just about setting out and having fun."
Known by family and friends as someone always on the lookout for an adventure, McMindes hasn't gotten too much ribbing about his road trip.
Mary Lou McMindes, Kevin's mother, said she thinks it's neat that her son has the energy to see the country and make sure he doesn't have regrets later on.
"Kevin has always been someone who seizes the moment," said Mary Lou, who's been an eighth-grade teacher at Carey Junior High for the past 23 years. "My hope is that no matter how he finds someone that he finds someone who is special for him."
Despite his concerns about using a Web site to find love, McMindes said most of the women he's met in person have closely matched their online descriptions.
He has already clicked with two of the women he's met and plans to keep in touch with them. He also said he's not bound to Montana and would be open to moving.
"I'm a fairly normal guy," McMindes said. "I don't see why anybody can't set out and do incredible things like this."
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.