Hilarious 1997 Article About Tabitha Soren (Brain-Dead "Journalist")

The Stanford Daily via UseNet ^ | November 11, 1997 | Heather Knight

[PJ-Comix]

Tabitha Soren was sent to Stanford to "marticulate" because she was so brain-dead. This article is hilarious because it shows Tabitha bored out of her mind with the scholarly routine. I guess the "matriculation" didn't work because the first report Tabitha did upon returning to MTV was the most BIZARRE documentary in history. I saw it once (and then it was pulled from the airwaves forever). It was about the pornography industry. While Tabitha would decry the exploitation of the porn industry, the camera would simultaneously exploit the porn industry by showing us action shots of the porno actors and actresses performing. This documentary was so weird that it was pulled before its scheduled rerun. Also pulled was Tabitha Soren's career. After this documentary aired, Tabitha was never seen on the airwaves again (or at least I never saw her again).

So does anybody know what happened to Tabitha Soren? Even in the dumb world of modern day journalism, Tabitha set new standards for absolute cluelessness.

[PBRSTREETGANG]

I'd forgotten about this brainless ditz.

[PJ-Comix]

Tabitha was supposed to be the "Voice of the New Generation." She was even an NBC correspondent for a while. However, she was so dump that even with the low standards of today's journalism, even they couldn't take her any longer so she was shipped off to Stanford supposedly to "matriculate" and get some brains. It didn't work. Now she is completely gone from the scene. Or at least that is my impression.

[bullseye1911]

Tabitha was supposed to be the "Voice of the New Generation." She was even an NBC correspondent for a while. However, she was so dump that even with the low standards of today's journalism, even they couldn't take her any longer

Sounds like another candidate for The View!

[Physicist]

And somewhere on the internet, she's still calling for Bush to give the death penalty to women who have had abortions. (FR joke, for those of you who don't get it.)

[Yeti]

I never could stand her or Kurt Loder.

In the early 90's, they were two liberal dem seminar journalists who were among the first I noticed to wield the "say 'white men' as if it tastes bad" thing on television. I later saw many others doing it(Dan Rather comes to mind).

I was just so apalled that she and Kurt would do that subliminal "hate yourself" meme on national TV, I resolved to *hate* them, instead -- and I still do hold that very strong grudge against them and the left collectively. It's easy to hate people brainwash the masses in a hostile and destructive way.

[PJ-Comix]

Here is something I just pulled off the UseNet about Tabitha. She was most recently seen as a contestant on Celebrity Jeopardy. Read about her performance there and LAUGH:

The last time I saw her was on celebrity week on "Jeapordy". She did very poorly. In fact ended up in the negative and couldn't play final jeapordy. I really think it ruined her career not being able to answer the dumb downed questions they use for celebrity jeapordy.

[Ken522]

What did she look like? Brain-dead or not, she might have been cute!

[PJ-Comix]

Some might think Tabitha was cute (a redhead) but something about those dead eyes of hers was a turnoff. There are a lot of rumors floating around about some of her very kinky sexual practices. I would write them down for you but I don't have a #2 pencil available.

[general_re]

And somewhere on the internet, she's still calling for Bush to give the death penalty to women who have had abortions.

"Let one kitten be stomped to death, and the country is outraged. But in the meantime, 800 million billion babies are being aborted every half-second, and nobody cares!"

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

That would not have been so annoying if she had confined it to the abortion threads. But she would post it on threads which had nothing to do with it.

Whatever happened to her anyway?

[PJ-Comix]

I will give Tabitha credit for realizing just how stupid she is. After that disastrous porn industry documentary (I wish I had taped it) Tabitha seems to have removed herself forever from the world of journalism. If only other clueless journalists would follow suit.

[PBRSTREETGANG]

What did she look like?

Here's here bio: http://www.greatertalent.com/bios/soren.shtml

(Perhaps we should book her for an event?)

[Rebelbase]

"That would not have been so annoying if she had confined it to the abortion threads. But she would post it on threads which had nothing to do with it."

People take the time to be so worried about someone posting in an internet forum, meanwhile, 800 million billion babies are being aborted every half-second, and nobody cares!

[PJ-Comix]

Actually it would be HILARIOUS to book her for a Freeper event. When she shows up we could ask her very in-depth questions and get a lot of laughs from her blank looks. Example: "Tabitha, could you give us your opinion on Stalin's Moscow Purge trials?"

[general_re]

Just what I would expect from a known instigator... ;)

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

You forgot the part where President Bush would just have to sign an EO to outlaw abortion forever.

But a nice solid try. I give you an 8.2

[Jhensy]

Then there was the famous Page Six item about Tabitha being in a cocktail party discussion about jazz and Thelonius Monk, and she blurted out, "The Loneliest Monk? Who's that?"

[Paleo Conservative]

Actually it would be HILARIOUS to book her for a Freeper event

We could give her the Walter Duranty Award for Journalism. I'm sure she'd be thrilled.

[PJ-Comix]

Then there was the famous Page Six item about Tabitha being in a cocktail party discussion about jazz and Thelonius Monk, and she blurted out, "The Loneliest Monk? Who's that?"

Yeah, I heard about that. What happened is that Tabitha was nothing more than a clueless party girl that the media turned into the "voice of the new generation." She read her scripted questions but outside of that had NO CLUE as to what the hell was going on in the world. To her credit, Tabitha finally realized just how dumb she is and removed herself from journalism.