Legal Research? Get Me Sushi, With Footnotes

NY Times ^ | October 22, 2003 | JONATHAN D. GLATER

[Pharmboy]

The memo has footnotes. It has exhibits. It is crisp and professional and is written on stationery of Paul, Weiss, Rifkind, Wharton & Garrison, one of New York's elite law firms. Indeed, it is the hottest law firm memo around town, but it is not about Enron, Tyco or any corporate scandal. It was not even written by a lawyer.

It is the sushi memo, and here is its story.

A Paul, Weiss partner, Kelley D. Parker, apparently received a subpar order of takeout sushi. So, according to the memo, she asked a paralegal to research local sushi restaurants. The paralegal took to the task aggressively, interviewing lawyers and staff members at the firm, reading online and ZagatSurvey reviews, and producing a three-page opus with eight footnotes and two exhibits (two sets of menus). The memo concludes by expressing the hope that Ms. Parker will now be able to choose "the restaurant from which your dinner will be ordered on a going-forward basis."

The memo was written more than three months ago, and its studiously formal language suggests it could be a parody. Regardless, it is making the rounds of New York law firms and Web sites like Gawker.com, circulated by associates and paralegals eager to expose what they see as the capricious and demanding behavior of partners. Some believe it illustrates the climate of a large law firm for many paralegals, who may feel compelled to give every assignment the single-minded vigor of a filing in a capital case, even if they are only helping to find some particularly fresh raw tuna.

"This is what people fear," said an associate at another law firm, speaking generally and anonymously out of fear of partner retribution. "It's some sense of arbitrary, dictatorial relationship that we all fear goes on between bosses and their underlings. People really do make people do these things."

Neither Ms. Parker nor Kimberly Arena, the paralegal, returned phone calls seeking comment. Jason Schaefer, a junior lawyer at the firm whose name is also on the memo, declined to comment and hung up the phone for emphasis. In fact, no one at Paul, Weiss, whose Midtown offices are surrounded by sushi restaurants, wanted to discuss the memo, making it hard to figure out if it is serious.

The memo is well sourced, repeatedly citing ZagatSurvey restaurant reviews. It seems to include useful information, claiming, for example, that Monday is the worst day to order sushi because fresh fish is usually delivered on Tuesday.

"This paralegal probably felt that it was very important for him or her to do as good a job on this assignment as on any other," said David Wilkins, director of the program on the legal profession at Harvard Law School.

"The real question," he added later, "is where did the paralegal bill his or her time?"

Law firms can charge more than $100 an hour for a paralegal's time, and paralegals generally must account for all their working hours. That means that either a client paid for the time it took to prepare the memo, or the billable hours spent on the memo were lost to the firm.

"The partners at the firm might have something to say about whether that was a very good use of the paralegal's time," Mr. Wilkins said.

While the law firm would not address any other questions about the memo, a spokeswoman did respond to this one. She said that no client of Paul, Weiss was billed for the time spent writing the sushi memo.

[Pharmboy]

I used to know some lawyers in NYC who worked for the huge firms like this. They even gave miserable, arrogant lawyers a bad name. This is not surprising...

[capt. norm]

now that you've whetted my appetite, where IS the memo?

[bertmerc1]

I can't seem to open Gawker.com and I'd love to have this paper. Any ideas?

[sushiman]

" fresh raw tuna. "

Yum yum ...oishii yo !

[Pharmboy]

Click here for memo

[Timesink]

Every once in a while, The Times does something right, like exposing these slimeballs for the arrogant ^&$%&&#s they are.

[martin_fierro]

Get a load of this.

(Can I bill for this?)

[martin_fierro]

"This is what people fear," said an associate at another law firm, speaking generally and anonymously out of fear of partner retribution. "It's some sense of arbitrary, dictatorial relationship that we all fear goes on between bosses and their underlings. People really do make people do these things."

Not only that, but the costs for this exercise in excess had to get billed for somehow.

[Timesink]

I do have to give The Times a demerit for sloth. This memo is dated July 9. The PDF of the fax is dated September 8. Today is October 22.

They're really on the ball up on 43rd Street.

[xsmommy]

does it surprise you at all? i didn't personally ever work for anyone like that, but i have heard plenty of stories. Hey, could you do my laundry for me, by the way? ; )

[xsmommy]

i have no doubt this was tucked into some poor unsuspecting client's bill!

[martin_fierro]

Hell, I don't even do my OWN laundry. I am one aromatic dude.

Once worked for a shyster whose debtor client didn't like the way a certain Bankruptcy hearing went before a judge.

This client (after much prodding by the shyster) insisted that the audiotape and written transcripts of the hearing had been altered by the BK judge's secret cabal.

The shyster wanted me to find and hire an audiotape expert who would swear that the tape had been altered. This, for a bankrupt client!

I quit that gig very soon after that.

[xsmommy]

all lawyers are scum...'cept for you and me : )

[martin_fierro]

I'm sure ABI is chock-full of competent professionals, but most debtor counsel that I've come across are scum.

[mrustow]

Law firms can charge more than $100 an hour for a paralegal's time, and paralegals generally must account for all their working hours. That means that either a client paid for the time it took to prepare the memo, or the billable hours spent on the memo were lost to the firm.

Or the paralegal did it on her own time.

[xsmommy]

that is really unlikely.

[mrustow]

So, you're suggesting that a client was fraudulently billed for the, ahem, research? If you're right, the stench from this particular heap of rotten fish is going to be around for a long time yet.

[xsmommy]

i was a paralegal prior to going to law school and that is exactly what i am saying.

[Congressman Billybob]

The "Sushi Memo" reminded me of a true story that happened at the Commission on the Bicentennial of the US Constitution. I was on that staff. Warren Burger was, briefly until the political bargain struck with President Reagan was carried out, both Chief Justice of the United States and Chairman of that Commission. (The deal was that the former Chairman of the Commission would be ousted, Berger would get the job, and then Berger would resign as Chief Justice, allowing Reagan to appoint Rehnquist.)

In any event, Chairman Berger was a most punctilious man. I once saw and read the "Staple Memo." It instructed all staff members that staples in all documents were "not to go east-west, nor to go diagonally, but must go north-south, a quarter of an inch from the left side of the paper." The memo was a hoot, but I missed the opportunity to run it through the Xerox and give it the widespread circulation it deserved. I later found that the original of that memo was kept in a locked file cabinet in the Director's office.

Based on my experience with demanding, punctilious people, I believe the "Sushi Memo" is real, just as the "Staple Memo" is.

Congressman Billybob

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