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I am the mother of two handicapped children; my oldest would be described as a "mental vegetable" by the culture of death. They are more precious to me than anything in this world. They are precious to God as well. (The oldest is 28, the little guy is almost 11.) On Thursday, I found out that the cancer I was diagnosed with in May is terminal, although I'm feeling feeling pretty well right now, and there's no predicting when the end will come. Perhaps God, through all this, is making me a vehicle in my own small sphere to argue the case for life from someone not operating from the theoretic, but when real, "impossible" choices have to be made *now.* I'm making my choices very clear to my family, friends, doctors and church for myself and my children: God alone is in charge of when we die. Until He calls me Home, be with me, love me, talk to me, pray with me and for me, feed me and give me water and warmth. Give me as much pain medication as I need so I can concentrate on you and on Christ, instead of my own pain. Don't let your suffering for me cause you to sin and choose to end my life to end your suffering... or mine. If I seem to change my mind if my mind is altered because of the disease and pain, embrace me close and remind me that God saves every tear, and holds dear the death of His children.

GOD WILL GIVE ME RELEASE OF SUFFERING IN HIS GOOD TIME!

Terri Shiavo is being murdered, in utterly cold blood. She's not the first. There is no hope in the courts or the elected officials of government.

Jeb Bush is not going to save Terri. He could. He could have the same chutzpah as the Clinton administration did with the Elian Gonzalez case and just do it. But he won't. She's going to die; we should all just realize that. "Jeb Bush can't do anything about it" say his supporters. BS. He could. But he won't because it might hurt his political career, which is more important than Terri's life. The perceived, skewed "separation of powers" is more important than a human life. Jeb's so-called "powerlessness" leaves me speechless. But not suprised. He's trying to cover his conservative base (and ass) by declaring he's done his best to intervene, but the pro-death media won't be *too* pissed off, because Terri will be dead, and Bush won't have defied its favorite judge. Or judges. Or culture. Anyone who says Jeb (or George) Bush "can't do anything" to save Terri Shiavo is deceiving himself. Teri Shiavo is going to die - AND SHE IS GOING TO DIE! - because those in power to save her will not sacrifice their political futures to save her. Jeb Bush is going to be oh so sad when she dies, oh dear. "I tried!" My dear Mr. Governor, if you care, if you really care, send in the National Guard, and let's see pictures, this time heroic pictures, of soldiers with machine guns, this time protecting doctors putting the feeding tubes back in.

More important than how I die is how I'm going to inculcate into my other five children is how to keep their two handicapped brothers from being legally murdered as Terri Shiavo is now. As if it is "kind." May God have mercy on the faithful in the United States of America, as it becomes another evil empire of death. His own Kingdom is the only righteous country left.