Pulled Thread by FR Admin

I liked that thread, if only for its shock value!

41 posted on 10/15/2003 5:37:21 PM PDT by Pan_Yans Wife (You may forget the one with whom you have laughed, but never the one with whom you have wept.)

42 posted on 10/15/2003 5:38:26 PM PDT by MEG33

43 posted on 10/15/2003 5:39:42 PM PDT by martin_fierro (A v v n c v l v s M a x i m v s)

The Hungarian Phrasebook sketch from Monty Python's Flying Circus

Set: A tobacconist's shop.

Text on screen: In 1970, the British Empire lay in ruins, and foreign
nationalists frequented the streets - many of them Hungarians
(not the streets - the foreign nationals). Anyway, many of
these Hungarians went into tobacconist's shops to buy
cigarettes....

A Hungarian tourist (John Cleese) approaches the clerk (Terry Jones). The
tourist is reading haltingly from a phrase book.

Hungarian: I will not buy this record, it is scratched.
Clerk: Sorry?
Hungarian I will not buy this record, it is scratched.
Clerk: Uh, no, no, no. This is a tobacconist's.
Hungarian: Ah! I will not buy this *tobacconist's*, it is scratched.
Clerk: No, no, no, no. Tobacco...um...cigarettes (holds up a pack).
Hungarian: Ya! See-gar-ets! Ya! Uh...My hovercraft is full of eels.
Clerk: Sorry?
Hungarian: My hovercraft (pantomimes puffing a cigarette)...is full of eels
(pretends to strike a match).
Clerk: Ahh, matches!
Hungarian: Ya! Ya! Ya! Ya! Do you waaaaant...do you waaaaaant...to come
back to my place, bouncy bouncy?
Clerk: Here, I don't think you're using that thing right.
Hungarian: You great poof.
Clerk: That'll be six and six, please.
Hungarian: If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
I...I am no longer infected.
Clerk: Uh, may I, uh...(takes phrase book, flips through it)...Costs six and
six...ah, here we are. (speaks weird Hungarian-sounding words)
Hungarian punches the clerk.

Meanwhile, a policeman (Graham Chapman) on a quiet street cups his ear as if
hearing a cry of distress. He sprints for many blocks and finally enters the
tobacconist's.

Cop: What's going on here then?
Hungarian: Ah. You have beautiful thighs.
Cop: (looks down at himself) WHAT?!?
Clerk: He hit me!
Hungarian: Drop your panties, Sir William; I cannot wait 'til lunchtime.
(points at clerk)
Cop: RIGHT!!! (drags Hungarian away by the arm)
Hungarian: (indignantly) My nipples explode with delight!

(scene switches to a courtroom. Characters are all in powdered wigs and
judicial robes, except publisher and cop. Characters:
Judge: Terry Jones
Bailiff: Eric Idle
Lawyer: John Cleese
Cop: Graham (still)
Publisher: Michael Palin )

Bailiff: Call Alexander Yalt!
(voices sing out the name several times)
Judge: Oh, shut up!
Bailiff: (to publisher) You are Alexander Yalt?
Publisher: (in a sing-songy voice) Oh, I am.
Bailiff: Skip the impersonations. You are Alexander Yalt?
Publisher: I am.
Bailiff: You are hereby charged that on the 28th day of May, 1970, you did
willfully, unlawfully, and with malice of forethought, publish an
alleged English-Hungarian phrase book with intent to cause a breach
of the peace. How do you plead?
Publisher: Not guilty.
Bailiff: You live at 46 Horton Terrace?
Publisher: I do live at 46 Horton terrace.
Bailiff: You are the director of a publishing company?
Publisher: I am the director of a publishing company.
Bailiff: Your company publishes phrase books?
Publisher: My company does publish phrase books.
Bailiff: You did say 46 Horton Terrace, did you?
Publisher: Yes.
Bailiff: (strikes a gong) Ah! Got him!
(lawyer and cop applaud, laugh)
Judge: Get on with it, get on with it.
Bailiff: That's fine. On the 28th of May, you published this phrase book.
Publisher: I did.
Bailiff: I quote on example. The Hungarian phrase meaning "Can you direct me
to the station?" is translated by the English phrase, "Please fondle
my bum."
Publisher: I wish to plead incompetence.
Cop: (stands) Please may I ask for an adjournment, m'lord?
Judge: An adjournment? Certainly not!

(the cop sits down again, emitting perhaps the longest and loudest release of
bodily gas in the history of the universe.)

Judge: Why on earth didn't you say WHY you wanted an adjournment?
Cop: I didn't know an acceptable legal phrase, m'lord.
(cut to ancient footage of old women applauding)
Judge: (banging + swinging gavel) If there's any more stock film of women
applauding, I'll clear the court.

44 posted on 10/15/2003 5:40:48 PM PDT by Spruce

Cute bunny with a pancake!

45 posted on 10/15/2003 5:43:31 PM PDT by CheneyChick (Let the Hauskleaning Begin)

46 posted on 10/15/2003 5:46:30 PM PDT by Imperialist

Take a deep breath, stand up from the computer, and take a nice walk around the block. It will do you good.

47 posted on 10/15/2003 5:46:42 PM PDT by Prince Charles

48 posted on 10/15/2003 5:46:53 PM PDT by Rocko

I don't think it's fair that other bunnies don't have pancakes. Perhaps the bunny with the pancake should have most of it's pancake taken away and devided among the bunnies that have none.

49 posted on 10/15/2003 5:47:38 PM PDT by Spruce

Ifit is the one I am thinking of, it was a public posting asking if it was time to assasinate the President. I hope that joker does get turned in. As much I hate Billary, I have never wished them dead. Liberals seem to be willing to go to any length, even despicable ones, to gain power. Sickos.

50 posted on 10/15/2003 5:49:24 PM PDT by hilaryrhymeswithrich (Al Franken is a pimple on the butt of liberalism)

To: Roscoe Karns; SandRat

Oh, those wacky Brits!

........Whack his pee-pee, but good!

51 posted on 10/15/2003 5:53:24 PM PDT by DoctorMichael (Thats my story, and I'm sticking to it.)

If posters go to AndrewSullivan.com and click on the link to the discussion at The Guardian, you can sign up and post your comments.

52 posted on 10/15/2003 5:54:28 PM PDT by Phantom Lord (Distributor of Pain, Your Loss Becomes My Gain)

To: DoctorMichael

Just sent the Guardian a note.

53 posted on 10/15/2003 5:54:58 PM PDT by MEG33

The poster on that Guardian thread "InKind" has rapier wit. He's slaying Democrats/liberals. Worth a read just for those posts.

54 posted on 10/15/2003 5:55:05 PM PDT by Clara Lou

Well, I feel absolutely filthy. I followed the conversation from the Guardian to Littlegreenfootballs to the DU. Yuck. DU'ers are saying they wouldn't put it past the Administration to fake an attempted--I can't say it. Those people are unbelievable.

I'm going to take a shower now.

55 posted on 10/15/2003 5:56:41 PM PDT by hobson (</*>)

To: humblegunner

I'm opussed ... not me --- gone !

sandratters ...

56 posted on 10/15/2003 5:57:00 PM PDT by f.Christian (evolution vs intelligent design ... science3000 ... designeduniverse.com --- * architecture * !)

I don't think it's fair that other bunnies don't have pancakes. Perhaps the bunny with the pancake should have most of it's pancake taken away and devided among the bunnies that have none.

The bunny on the bottom already ate her pancake. Gluttony is its own punishment.

57 posted on 10/15/2003 5:57:17 PM PDT by strela ("We are the RNC. Resistance is futile. We will blend your political distinctiveness into our own.")

The offending web site is at Guardian Unlimited and it was posted by "Started by SimonF at 08:42am Oct 15, 2003 BST."

If you guessed an action similar to Pres. Lincoln vs. J.W. Booth you gessed correctly.

58 posted on 10/15/2003 6:00:11 PM PDT by SandRat (Duty, Honor, Country. What else needs to be said?)

To: BOBTHENAILER

Playing devils advocate here, is it a crime to say this in Britian? I would guess it is like us calling for the assination of a foreign head of state here....

Not sure this is a crime in Britian, however it is definately in bad taste.....

59 posted on 10/15/2003 6:02:00 PM PDT by Legerdemain

To: Pan_Yans Wife

bouncy bouncy big boy?

60 posted on 10/15/2003 6:02:16 PM PDT by fourdeuce82d

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