Posted on 05/12/2010 10:18:14 PM PDT by 2ndDivisionVet
This is Alabama, we speak English.
Tim James, candidate for governor, speaking in a campaign commercial decrying that Alabama offers drivers license exams in 12 languages
What, is he loco? If this ninja candidate was feeling angst at recent polling and looking for a way to add panache to his bid to be Alabamas next governor, James found it. With this YouTube sensation, he can say sayonara to campaigning under the radar.
Or, as famed Spanish explorer Hernando de Soto might say, Se trata de Alabama. Hablamos Inglés.
So, what was the motivation the raison dêtre of the man The New York Times called, The Candidate From Xenophobia?
Heres a guess. In a Republican primary field with loads of gubernatorial competitors pushing the dial further rightward, James found himself in deep kimchi. One 30-second jiu jitsu move later and voilà! James is au courant with the papers, please zeitgeist springing from Arizona.
Or, as they say at the Mercedes plant in Vance, Dies ist Alabama. Wir sprechen Englisch.
English, researchers tell us, is a pastiche of other languages. One study found that of the 100 most commonly used words in English, 80 percent are Germanic. Another study found that 40 percent of the 10,000 most commonly used words come from French, a notion bound to make lovers of freedom fries see red.
All of this is to say that it takes a lot of chutzpah to act as if English isnt a mash-up of scores of languages. Yet, James takes a serious look into the camera and says, Were only giving that test in English if Im governor.
Oy vey!
Or, as they say down at the Hyundai plant in Montgomery, Igeos-eun allabama, ulineun yeong-eoleul sseubnida.
It costs $28.50 for a person to take a test and purchase an Alabama drivers license; for point of reference, thats 21.49 in Euros, 194.53 in Yuan and 1,268.67 in Rupees.
James argues that reducing the tests number of languages from 12 to one is a matter of smart economics. Maybe its just the businessman in me, but well save money and it makes sense, he said.
A story on the Los Angeles Times website casts doubt upon that claim, suggesting James proposal might lead to a sort of economic hara kiri.
Compared to the cost of additional accidents from untested drivers and the damage to the states image, its a drop in the bucket, Outside the Beltway blogger James Joyner told the Times. If one company decides to go to South Carolina or Tennessee rather than Alabama over this issue, itll be bad business, indeed.
Also speaking with the L.A. Times, University of Alabama professor David Lanoue agreed, It seems almost certain that any money saved by not administering multi-language tests would be more than offset by the legal fees the state would incur when the law was challenged in court.
Or, as the French executives from Airbus currently angling to build an airplane manufacturing facility in Mobile would say, Il sagit dAlabama. Nous parlons anglais.
We might as well acknowledge that Alabama isnt an English word. Turns out we took the land and the name from the Indians who called this area home long before Europeans started exploring it in the 16th century.
Would a James administration put the kibosh on Alabama cities with non-English names? What about Florence, which takes its name from the Italian city? Or Andalusia (Spain)? Or Elba (Italy)? Lets not even consider what we would call the north Alabama town of Arab.
What will we call kindergartens? Will searching for a moment of zen register as a faux pas? Will turning in per diem expenses become verboten?
Must we only seize the day, but never carpe diem? Will the savoir-faire among us be forced to become more like a schlemiel?
Will our neighboring states revel in a sense of schadenfreude when the worst becomes a fait accompli?
It could set off a mêlée, if not a pogrom in cities and towns across the state.
Or, as the top executives from Honda might say when visiting the companys operations in Lincoln, Kore wa arabama-sh? desu. Wareware wa eigo o hanasu.
Sadly, James bold ad is de rigueur in a state practically swimming in tea parties. Here Republican candidates cannot be too conservative and tough talk on non-English speakers is the lingua franca. What options does someone trailing the pack have?
The Greenville businessman decided to turn the knob past 11, apparently ignoring the praiseworthy work down by Gov. Bob Riley in attracting international companies to Alabama. With only a few weeks left before the June 1 primary, James faced up to the timetable and fading chances at electoral glory.
Though he probably wouldnt put it this way, James is acknowledging a well-known phrase, Sic transit gloria.
Wow, such a spectacle of of neurotic gibberish committed to print! How does one even begin to enter into reasoned dialogue with someone whose central tenets are that English isn’t a real language, that the people who claim to speak it are illegitimate settlers, and that we should all simply speak to immigrants in their chosen tongue—whatever it may be—rather than asking that they attempt to speak to us in ours? Oy vey indeed!
Well, all this aside Tim James ain’t gonna make it to the runoff. All the James gang has ever had is gimmicks and sideshows going all the way back to daddy Fob’s run in 1978.
I voted against Fob in 1986, did it again in 1990, did it again in 1994 and did it twice in 1998. It will give me great pleasure to continue the tradition of voting against candidates from the James family.
Bradley Byrne is by far the best candidate this state has ever had and unlike Tim James or his daddy Bradley Byrne will take on Paul Hubbert from the minute he’s sworn in.
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