Was there anything in Ted Kennedy’s early life to adumbrate what he was to become? Shakespeare himself would become a mute bard if he were able to hear such a drumbeat, one that would grow into a rumba. Ted was, as a boy, at a dumber level in school than his brothers, from the bare datum we could uncover. Like his brother, John, he preferred chasing girls to studying. A bared tummy or a muted bra beneath a sweater would send him into fits of distraction. Early evidence was that he would certainly be a turd. Am I not correct that this is what occurred?
In college, he had so many girlfriends, he would have made a Burt Reynolds or a Bill Clinton jealous. Indeed, Ted dated many a dame Burt would not have been able to attract, thanks to the Kennedy family name. Life seemed like a dream, but there would be nightmares ahead, at Bermuda Triangle levels.
After college, Ted was what girls described as a bum dater. A heavy drinker even then, he was generally useless in bed until the effects of the Scotch or rum abated. Often, in bed, trauma awaited the girl who dared to mock him. He would begin sweetly enough.
“Come on, give little Ted a rub. Am I not the greatest thing since fixed elections?”
But, with the alcohol causing a permanently soft tube, drama would soon occur. While most men won’t talk about problems with their “special skin” (some derma tabu, no doubt), Teddy would rant and rave like a mad brute. His face would change from pasty white to bright red, and end up a tad umber. Trying to calm him was like trying to rub a tamed lion, or debut a ram at a cotillion ball. His latest rumba date never knew when Ted would turn on her.
Sometimes, to try and chill out, he would take his date for a drive. He would speed at a rate dumb people wouldn’t even attempt. A slight error in navigation, or a bum tread or mechanical problem could prove fatal. And did. He never did mature. Bad social skills, bad driving, bad story. If Ted sees a bar, Ted must stop there. A young girl who thinks he’s a dream date, finds out he’s really a dream tub. And pays for the mistake with her life.
And now, this elderly democrat scion (to me, dub “A Rat” for All Time), has managed to hypnotize his followers into forgetting the past. This “Great American” to me is nothing but a red. Am I crazy? He has muted Arab leanings to appeal to Jewish voters, but his supporters, to me, are dumb. Am I wrong? I believe it takes more than giving Ted a Burma Shave and sobering him up to make him presentable.
A++++