"Does this make me look fat?" - the WRONG answers!

topfive.com ^ | 8/5/03 | topfive.com

[Xenalyte]

The all-time wrongest answers to the immortal trick question, "Does this make me look fat?"

16. "Not to Stevie Wonder."

15. "Big time! That's why I'm sleeping with your best friend."

14. "Does this tie make me look stupid?"

13. "No way! You look least fat in that."

12. "I guess there's not much point in asking if you mean 'fat' with an F or 'phat' with a PH."

11. "No hablo ingles."

10. "Yes, but it also makes you look like a pricey hooker, so things balance out."

9. "No, but taking it off sure does."

8. "If I answer that question, then the terrorists have won."

7. "Okay, listen: what's important is that you not focus in a negative way on the comparison I'm about to make."

6. "Not if you were traveling at the speed of light."

5. "Yes, but in my country, obesity suggests prosperity."

4. "Let me jog around to your front and take a look."

3. "No, honey. But just to be safe, steer clear of one-legged sea captains."

2. "Whoa! A talking couch!"

1. "May I consult the Iraqi Information Minister before answering that?"

[vin-one]

no honey, it doesn't make you look fat, just out of shape

That remark used to be safe, because I keep bugging her to work out,
spending $35.00 a month on a health club membership that never gets used.

[RussianConservative]

Well material is cheaper by square yard.

[Lazamataz]

Wife: "I think I lost weight."

Husband: "Turn around, you'll find it."

Wife: "Hey! I'm in shape, you know!"

Husband: "Absolutely! Spherical is a shape!"

Wife: "I'll have you know someone told me there's a skinny woman in me screaming to get out!"

Husband: "Yeah I know. You ate her."

Wife: blamblamblamblamblamblam(reload)blamblamblam.

Husband: (gurgle)

[aShepard]

No honey, not near as much as that Hillerysque black pant suit!

[Maria S]

IMHO, this is the funniest answer:

4. "Let me jog around to your front and take a look."

Funny to me because it reminds me of the old C&W song, "A'Hugging and A'Chalking". Probably no one in this crowd has ever heard of it!

[Hegewisch Dupa]

actually I've earned big points by making note that preggo Mrs. Dupa's chock-full-o-baby tummy makes her butt look positively tiny!

[xsmommy]

what a great hubby!! A++ for you!

[JoeSixPack1]

The correct answer to this and many others are listed here:

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/924683/posts

The specific answer to this age old question is:

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.

<|:-)~~

[SwinneySwitch]

"No hablo ingles."

Si!

[SwinneySwitch]

"A'Hugging and A'Chalking". Probably no one in this crowd has ever heard of it!" Wrong!

I gotta gal that's mighty sweet, With blue eyes and
tiny feet. Her name is Rosabelle Magee, and she tips
the scale at three o three, Oh!
Gee- but ain't it grand to have a girl so big and fat
that when you hug'er
You don't know where you're at you
Have to take a piece of chalk in your hand and
hug a way and chalk a mark to see where you began,

One day when I was a huggin and a chalkin and a chalkin
and a huggin a way. When I met another fella with
some chalk in his hand, Com-in' around the other way 'round
the mountain. Comin' around the other way.

Nobody ever said I'm weak. My bones don't ache and my joints
creak. But I I grow absolutely limp, Ev-'ry time I kiss my
baby blimp, Oh!



One day I had a yen for some one leaner, she was meaner than a
mink in a pen. So I left her now I'm happy as a fella could be
Huggin and chalkin in once a gain 'round my Rosie
Huggin and chalkin in once again.

One day I was a huggin and a chalkin and a beggin' her to be my bride
When I met another fella with some chalk in his hand
Comin a round the other side of the mountain
Comin around the other side.

[HoustonCurmudgeon]

This is a trick question to which there is no correct answer!

[Eaker]

My favorite.............

8. "If I answer that question, then the terrorists have won."

works every time!!

Eaker

[DannyTN]

There is no right answer to that question.

[DannyTN]

A girl once told my brother to kiss her a*s
He said, "I would but it would take four pair of lips to do it".

[Slip18]

The shovel was attacking me! I'll need some help later on, but it seems to be going okay right now. I just can't get down deep enough.

[Slip18]

What a nice guy you are, HD!

[Maria S]

Ah, gee whiz! You remembered! Words and all...

LOL!

[Hegewisch Dupa]

but the thing is that it is true! I really didn't come up with any fascinating revelation - I just made note of what I see

[Allegra]

Ahhh...the question that strikes terror into the heart of many a strong man...

These are hilarious.

[YankeeinOkieville]

Actually, anyone stupid enough to ask this question deserves whatever response she gets! BTW have you ever noticed most of the men who complain about women being fat aren't any great catch themselves?