I disagree with your assertion that there is a huge difference in class between a man who thinks to himself "I'd like to bang her", and the other examples you cite. Remember Jimmah Carter who admitted to "lusting in his heart" and some religious saying or another along the lines of if you think it, you've already done it.
You're letting your insecurities set up an arbitrary benchmark by which you assess class in your gentlemen friends. If the lust is overt, that threatens you. If covert, it's no problem, although I'm fairly sure you're intelligent enough to know what's going on in his mind when a fine specimen of womanhood walks past him, even if he says nothing. (Your Coulterish looks notwithstanding, of course.)
Using your example, and extrapolating a bit further, if one of your hypothetical gents doesn't leer, doesn't drool, but "classily", by your definition, thinks "I'd like to bang her", and as a result of that thought, becomes, shall we say, "glandularly interested". Does that lower his class level, ie. "think bang = Class/OK", "think bang get wood NOT OK?"
This is all conjecture, of course, but your posts trip the "HIGH MAINTENANCE WARNING" light on, I'd venture, most male radars on this board.
Extrapolating again, what if your classy gentlemen is driving across town, gets caught in traffic next to a big steakhouse. Those wonderful fumes are wafting across the road, and he's salivating. By the time he gets home, he's ravenous, and tucks into the great meal you've prepared for him and devours it with reckless abandon, never telling you that perhaps your culinary skills aren't the source of his enthusiasm. Has he then cheated on you?
It's the same sort of urge. Men are visual. Sometimes they (we) like to go 'look at the menu' at another establishment, so to speak. What difference does it make where he gets his appetite if he comes home for supper?