Word For The Day, Thursday, July 10, 2003

The Verbivores | 7/10/03 | The Teacher

[Conspiracy Guy]

That's cute but old.

[VRWCmember]

Good Grief! Here's another Britney no longer a virgin thread. It seems when people come across such earth-shattering and shocking news they are incapable of performing a simple search. Maybe we need a new forum just for Britney virginity threads. Before long this will be a bigger story than Laci Peterson.

[Conspiracy Guy]

Yeah he and Perot scared the middle into the left to put Bill Clintoon in orafice.

[Conspiracy Guy]

How did you miss him

[Laura Earl]

I just don't get the fascination with her (not so) shocking revelation. And yes, the story is getting as big as the Laci Peterson story.

[secret garden]

One of my all-time favorite French words.
Trebuchet, trebuchet
as fun to use as it is to say!

[Laura Earl]

He needs to shut up and go away!

[Conspiracy Guy]

He's just a white Je$$e.

[Laura Earl]

I have no idea...knew I was missing the obvious, just couldn't figure out who it was. Then suddenly his flinty stare popped into my head and BANG!

[Conspiracy Guy]

And they are more powerful than a catapult of similar dimensions.

[Laura Earl]

Yes he is, and dang it, there are just too many stoopid people out there listening to them.

[VRWCmember]

How about this one:

This guy has always dreamed of owning a Harley Davidson. One day he has finally saved enough money, so he goes down to the dealer. After he picks up the perfect bike, the dealer tells him about an old biker trick that will keep the chrome on his new bike free from rust.
The dealer tells him that all he has to do is to keep a jar of Vaseline handy and put it on the chrome before it rains and everything will be fine. He happily pays for the bike and leaves.

After a couple of months he meets a lady and she asks him to take her home to meet her parents over dinner. He readily accepts and the date is set. At the appointed time he picks her up on his Harley and they ride to her parents' house.

Before they go in, she tells him that they have a family tradition that whoever speaks first after dinner must do the dishes.

After a delicious dinner everyone sits in silence waiting for the first person to speak and get stuck doing the dishes. After a long 15 minutes the young man decides to speed things up, so he reaches over and kisses the girl in front of her family. No one says a word.

Emboldened, he throws her on the table and has sex with her in front of everyone. No one says a word. Now he is getting desperate, so he grabs her mother and throws her on the table. They have even wilder sex. No one says a word.

By now he is thinking of what to do next when he hears thunder in the distance. His first thought is to protect the chrome on his Harley, so he reaches into his pocket and pulls out his jar of Vaseline.

And the father shouts, 'Okay damn it, I'll do the dishes.'

[secret garden]

Make him watch Chris Guest's Best in Show first, so he can get a feel sense of the event and its...um...characters.

[Hegewisch Dupa]

Brilliant advice!

[Conspiracy Guy]

I remember the first time I heard that one, July 1972, Lackland AFB Tx. Ha

[VRWCmember]

A little old lady, well into her eighties, slowly enters the front door of a sex shop. Obviously very unstable on her feet, she shakily wobbles the few feet across the store to the counter. Finally arriving at the counter and grabbing it for support, she asks the sales clerk: "Dddooo youuuu hhhave dddddiilllldosss?"

The clerk, politely trying not to burst out laughing, replies: "Yes we do have dildos. Actually we carry many different models."

The old woman then asks: "Dddddoooo yyyouuuu ccaarrryy aaa pppinkk onnee, tttenn inchessss lllong aaandd aabboutt tttwoo inchesss ththiickk?"

The clerk responds, "Yes we do."

"Ddddooo yyoooouuuu kknnnoooww hhhowww tttooo ttturrrnnn ttthe ssstuuuuuuppiid ttthingggg offffff?"

[Argh]

BWAAAhahahahaha.....

[Conspiracy Guy]

That's a variation of the old lady who goes to the ObGyn because her vibrator is stuck. He says it will cost $1,000.00 to remove it. She says remove it heck I just want some new batteries.

[Conspiracy Guy]

Whur did everbuddy go?

[xsmommy]

The bashers on LP are not newbies, they are recognized names from past incarnations on FR.