[Lazamataz]

I've heard people say before "The Bigger the Wedding, The Shorter the Marraige." Guess it was true in your case?Yep. :^/

I think the phenomenon also occurs because of Post Celebration Letdown. You've got all this energy and emotion tied up in the ceremony, and when the ceremony is over, you get this incredible let-down catharisis. My woman had AT LEAST 5 books and some of them were so dog-eared that it was clear her primary interest was the ceremony.

We are proof that you can find love on the internet.

I believe you can as well. I, however, made every single mistake a man can make. I had had very few serious relationships prior to this one -- I had been much more of a bed-'em-and-forget-'em kind of guy. So along the way I missed some of the very basic lessons you learn in your twenties. The primary lesson I had not learned is, don't lie. I didn't come clean about certain aspects of my personality, some of them somewhat serious. And this, of course, is a fault I fully accept responsibility for. The acceptance of that responsibility includes knowledge (and to some degree, a desire) that we will never likely be together again -- even though I admit I daydream about it.

She sees me as a completely deceptive creature who -- as she puts it -- 'didn't exist' as the man represented. That, of course, is nonsense. I am who I am, although I did cover up some serious flaws. I exist in the entirity, including my flaws -- flaws, by the way, that I am working on with or without a significant other in my life. All the good I brought, I brought. All the positives I was, I was and still am. To claim I didn't exist as represented is so much nonsense, IMHO.

I'm improving for ME; I could really care less about a significant other at this point. My focus has been, in this order: Excelling at my job, and I am doing better than I ever have at any job, ever. Nary a week goes by without a 'Well done'. Then, as a more important but less immediate factor, I am engaging in some theraputic help that is drastically improving my life, both mentally and more important physically. Third, I am busy working out at Bally's and have restarted my martial arts. And fourth, I am dedicating myself to helping others. A good friend and mentor here in Atlanta, a co-worker I have grown close to, has recommended that, and it has been both mentally and spiritually rewarding.

Other plans I have, are to begin attending Temple each and every Friday evening without fail. I want to reimmerse myself in my spirituality and connection with G-d. I also want to begin the Atkins diet program.

[honeygrl]

I, however, made every single mistake a man can make. I had had very few serious relationships prior to this one -- I had been much more of a bed-'em-and-forget-'em kind of guy.

You sound like the male version of me before I got married. I was actually amazed at myself at how much I changed after I married. I had never been in a real relationship before him and had no interest in one before him. All I wanted back then was whoever was fun and I would get bored with the guy-of-the-month the second any emotional attachment was shown on his part. I did a total turn around when I met my hubby and can't imagine ever being unfaithful to him or lying to him about anything. He knows all about my slutty history, yet trusts me completely. It's so hard for me to even believe how my whole attitude changed once we married. I totally lost my roaming nature.

I exist in the entirity, including my flaws -- flaws, by the way, that I am working on with or without a significant other in my life

I think that once you find the right person that accepts you for who you are and makes you feel comfortable being honest with yourself and with her you will find it very easy to be the type of person you want to be and to change the flaws that you really don't like and the ones that would hurt her.

I'm improving for ME; I could really care less about a significant other at this point.

And being happy with yourself if without a doubt the most important thing. I've seen you around the forum a lot and am not sure of your age but you sound like you are still fairly young and have plenty of time for finding the person that is right for you. Trust me, the right person always comes along when you aren't looking for them. I may be very young, but that's one thing I've seen over and over.

A good friend and mentor here in Atlanta, a co-worker I have grown close to, has recommended that, and it has been both mentally and spiritually rewarding.

You don't live too far from me. I'm in Athens, about an hour away from Atlanta.

I also want to begin the Atkins diet program.

I have heard nothing but good things about that diet. One word of advice on it though is to make sure during that first two weeks that you either take a potassium/magnesium supplement or make sure you have something in your meals with potassium and magnesium in them. You loose mostly water weight those first two weeks and that means loss of potassium and magnesium, which is a bad uncomfortable thing to go through. I lost too much of those of those after I had my son and was put on a water pill for a temporary high blood pressure problem while breastfeeding at the same time. The result was loosing lots of water weight and almost dying from loss of potassium. I was literally on the verge of my heart stopping because I wasn't told by the quck doctor that I needed to take a supplement for that. They had to replace my potassium via an IV and it was the most painful experience of my life. If mineral water is OK to drink on that diet, that would probably be enough to prevent the problem from occuring. From talking to my mom though who is on that diet, most of the foods you can eat during the first 2 weeks don't have potassium in them.