Gin martini, the vermouth bottle got to look at it, shaken, not stirred
and a Montecristo #2.
Those are nice catches on the reports and, of course, the people that wanted the studies to begin with don't want to hear about them now.
For the Congressional Research Service report on Environmental Tobacco Smoke and Lung Cancer, Nov. 1995, check out http://www.tobacco.org/Documents/9511crsepa.html
and especially note page 55, first line,
"Finally, it is possible that very few or even no deaths can be attributed to ETS."
and page 62, second paragraph:
"Therefore, had OSHA performed a meta-analysis, it seems likely that it would have found no increased lung cancer risk from occupational ETS exposure."
Among those requesting this study was none other than Henry Waxman. Naturally, he, and the media quickly forgot about it.
It is, like the case brought before a Federal Judge, a scathing indictment of the agenda method that Clinton's radlib Browner (head of the EPA then) used to first set the result, and then change statistics laws (i.e. p) and ignore certain studies to get to that result. And, if the radlibs went to such great lengths to lie about this, what about second hand smoke (aka environmental tobacco smoke) and other disease/health problems.
Now, how about some jokes to cheer us all up?
The Parking Ticket
I went to the store the other day, and I was in there for only about five minutes. When I came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket.
So I went up to him and said, "Come on, buddy, how about giving me a break?"
He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a pencil-necked Nazi. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires!
So I called him a piece of horse dung. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket!
This went on for about 20 minutes.
The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote.
I didn't care.
My car was parked around the corner.
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Paintball
Got a little too much time on your hands.
Well, how about playing a little paintball.
http://www.miniclip.com/paintball.htm
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Female vs Male
1. NAMES
If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.
If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.
2. EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
3. MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
4. BATHROOMS
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
5. ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
6. CATS
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
7. FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
8. SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
9. MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.
10. DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
11. NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
12. OFFSPRING
Ah, children.
A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
13. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Any married man should forget his mistakes.
There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
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Have a Great Weekend!
Those are nice catches on the reports and, of course, the people that wanted the studies to begin with don't want to hear about them now.