I'll give you a line used by my first cousin at last years 'tator reunion.
After the meal I took the mike and went to each of the 'tators on hand and and asked what was happening in their lives. One cousin, in his best rural Southern Ohio accent said, "Well I'm a looking forward to retirement." I asked when he was to retire. He replied Southern Ohio style, "In three year and four months." I asked what was he going to do after he retired. He replied with out batting an eye, "Finish my book." I, with some incredulity, asked "Are you writing a book?" He replied, "NO sir!... I'm a readin' one."
He is apparently a comedian by avocation. So am I. It is a tator trait. For me to write a book, I would first need a boss to keep my nose to the grindstone.