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When we were in high school, my sister came home well after midnight one night and said that she and a friend had just found out they had driven home on the wrong side of the road. I asked why she would drive on the wrong side of the road and she replied that there were no other cars around to show her which side to drive on.

Same sister: I once asked her if the wallpaper we were buying was 2 for the price of one. She looked at me like I was crazy and siad no, it's buy one get one free!

Same sister: She woke up one morning and started freaking out that her car was stolen. It turned out that she had driven it to the church the night before and then got a ride home from a friend.

I was visiting a friend in Atlanta and he needed up purchase something from a sporting goods store for a relative. He was wondering where to go shopping when I asked him "Do you have Dick's here in Atlanta?" You should have seen the look on his face.

He didn't realize Dick's is a sporting goods chain here in PA.

My friend's sister tried to call someone on his cell phone. She gave up when she couldn't figure out how to put a "dash" between the numbers.