What in the world is the matter with me?

[rwfromkansas]

Hey, I am...:) Of course, they also have to be cute, but I am not into wild girls.

[rwfromkansas]

lol...I have difficulties getting the kind of girls I like to just talk...lol....:) Generally though, that is good advice.....

[rwfromkansas]

I will give you some verses from Scripture (not sure if you are Christian or not):

You are COMPLETE in Him. Col. 2:10

Christ...is OUR LIFE. Col 3:4

Ultimately, even if not a single soul likes you, Jesus Christ is your IDENTITY if you are saved in Him. He is YOUR IDENTITY; HE IS WHO YOU ARE. You are complete in Him and Christ is YOUR LIFE. True joy comes from this, even if you don't have a 'significant other.' Of course, with our flesh, it is difficult to truly experience this despite it being a fact.

[rwfromkansas]

Don't go to churches where it is "popular" to attend. Almost always those churches are more interested in adopting worldly ways in their worship (seeker-friendly it is called by its supporters) instead of glorifying God; by its popularity, the people tend to turn worldly as well and turn into cliques.

[rwfromkansas]

I will run through church directories to see if there are any Calvinist churches down your way.

[rwfromkansas]

BTW, don't be afraid to loosen up and have fun. I went to the college dance the other day......the only dance I have been to at school that was not a graduation type dance (prom, 8th grade graduation). I had an absolute blast and am extremely self-conscious, but managed to get over that. I got to dance with some girls, had also danced to the fast songs despite some nervousness. A guy down the hall came up to me the next day and said he was amazed at how good a dancer I was and that I was real good. Attend school functions!!!!!!! I think that definitely can help people see you beyond just a classroom setting.

[rwfromkansas]

I mean the ping.

[rwfromkansas]

I will Freepmail you with links to Reformed churches. All I have to say, you are near Tulsa so the idea that there are no Calvinist churches near you can't be true; I am aware of multiple ones.

[KantianBurke]

bump for a response at a decent hr

[Qwerty]

You're only 20. Seems a bit early to REALLY worry that there's no one out there... plus conservative guys get little/no play in college.

Still, I'll tell you the secret to getting women..

Assertiveness. No matter how much you hear about women liking sensitive guys who cry and talk, we still tend to prefer strong men. Some women fall into the abusive trap because of it. Not my thing, but hey... it's true for 90% of women out there, no matter what they say. If there's one thing I know it's women. Assertiveness... strength.. is THE KEY.

After that, the best advice I can give you is "Let it percolate." They'll be eating out of your hands.

For practice, you could head on over to romp.com ...

;-)

[PFKEY]

At 20 I imagine you are looking mostly at the 'hot' girls and they are not looking back.

So my advice to you is to look at all the diamonds in the rough.

Most all woman are beautiful in some respect.

Treat the ones you have no interest in the same as you would treat those you do.

Do your best at communicating. In that I mean being able to carry on a conversation.

At 37, I find many younger girls around your age who complain about the guys their age being interested in video games and partying.

Have some substance.

[JudyB1938]

Did you read the recent thread that reported a recent study revealed women on birth control choose guys to have fun with, whereas those not on birth control look for one who will be a good husband and father?

My advice is to look for a "plain" girl. The plain girls and the Christian girls I knew in high school back in the 50's are all mostly still happily married today. Many of the pretty ones didn't make such wise choices.

[SauronOfMordor]

I find it extremely peculiar that the ones that are taken are dating the guy flipping pancakes down at IHOP treating them like S^%&%.

When I'm not getting results, and somebody else is, I generally try to study what the other guy is doing and try doing the same

It's frequent that we hear about the guy who gets lots of girls but treats them badly. So why are girls attracted to such? What the guy is doing is communicating to the girl

"I can replace you with another girl who is equally cute whenever I want to. Why should I go out of my way to treat you nice? You are the one who needs to concentrate on keeping me happy".

What we guys may see as arrogance, many girls may see as self-confidence. A high-degree of self-confidence, if coupled with a decent degree of intelligence, may produce economic success later in life. Girls look for that

Also, if the guy is not overly impressed with her, then she may consider it a challenge to see if she can ultimately wrap him around her finger

Lastly, the IHOP guy leaves his work behind when he takes off his apron. He doesn't discuss pancake-flipping techniques with a girl, in the expectation that she'll be interested in hearing about it. One technique that, in my experience, almost never fails is: be interested in her. Shut up about your stuff for a while. Find something about the girl that you can be interested about, and ask her about it (if there's nothing about her that you can be GENUINELY interested in, move on). Let HER talk about what interests HER. Shut up about your activities and interests except in response to HER questions, which will come when she runs out of things to say about her stuff. Do not reveal yourself completely on the first date -- make her work to discover you.

[SauronOfMordor]

In my daughter's case, if you aren't an unemployed guy with a hair color not found in nature, multiple tattoos and body piercings, and no ambition to ever do anything beyond sit on the couch, play guitar (badly), and write and sing atonal songs that no one else wants to listen to, she just wouldn't be interested.

At that age, girls want somebody fun to hang out with. They figure there's plenty of time to find some productive, respectable meal-ticket later, like when they're 30. (Then they have the surprise)

[Moosilauke]

There's nothing the matter with you, it's the world that's changed. The legacy of the feminist tidal wave of the 70's will be with us for a long time to come. This ideology dominates popular culture. It's basic theme: all men are stupid, domineering brutes, especially if they are english-speaking caucasians. This is the stock theme of just about every show you see on TV and every advertisement. On university campuses this gets coupled with the politics of victimology. Looking for a mate at college will be a waste of your time. You are the enemy and when you fail to follow thru with the expected abuse (thereby confirming the victim status of your date) you are no longer of interest. Jerks have no trouble getting women because they fit the male profile, confirming the feminist ideology.

After you graduate and take a technical/professional job you'll find yourself immersed in more of the same. You will not likely find a politically or socially conservative mate amongst the realm of the professional women. They're too busy being simultaneously successful and oppressed to take much concern for love or companionship.

Sorry to rain on things but it's an old wives tale that the right one will pop up soon enough if you just quit trying so hard. That's sort of like saying the republicans would get more of the women's vote if they just quit campaigning so hard. Your chances are probably best if stay far from either coast and away from big cities. Prayer can't hurt but don't expect miracles. Your best bet is to recognize the way things are and quit blaming yourself.

[thetruckster]

"Does anyone know why women end up dating guys who treat them badly or are unsuccessful?"

Because they have low self-esteem or the girls are dumb enough to see a low-life as a challenge to "change."

[thetruckster]

"IMHO it's the size of the unit."

That only works for "so long."

[hadaclueonce]

log off your puter. blow up your TV. Realize beautiful women are like china, a chip does not ruin the entire set...

[apackof2]

Have you two met? '-)

*sigh*
Too young for me

[apackof2]

Don't give up the ship, the right (and I do mean RIGHT) guy is out there.

I don't know, when I was younger I went for the "bad boy", by the time I wised up, all the good ones were taken and Although I look young I am not a spring chicken anymore