[B-Chan]

Americans with strong cultural identites (those of Mexican, Irish, and Japanese ethnicities, for example) tend to pick traditional names for their children. It is only those of us who have forgotten our real ethnic heritage -- in other words, white people and black people -- who have fallen into the inexcusable habit of picking dopey, made-up names for our children. As a person of the white persuasion myself, I hate the stupid trailer-park names that so many white people give their kids. They're as bad as the idiotic fake African names one sees among our black brothers and sisters. I mean, come on: "Kaylee" and "Madison" sound like brand names for sewing machines, and calling your son "Canyon Storm" is like naming him after an SUV. "African" names that contain the syllables "qua", "sha", "neesha", and "shan" on the other hand remind me of hair-care or feminine hygiene products, and are in reality about as authentically "African" as Brittany, Dimeé, Dakota, and McCaleb are authentically "European". Qua'Shan, Raynee, Maniqua, Colby -- names like these are an abomination. People who dishonor their fellow human beings with such degrading nomenclature ought to be sent to Guantanamo and locked in wire cages. Seriously.

Saints, people. Saints and ancestors are the only acceptable names for white and black children, the only ones with dignity, the only ones that make them sound like human beings instead of soap opera characters or racehorses. Johann. Candace. Lars. Cecilia. Mary. Martin. Anne. Isabelle. Franklin. Marguerite. Malcolm. Pierre. Joan. Sidney. Alfred. Deborah. These are names with dignity and character and a real connection to the past! Use them!

This crap has gone too far. We are becoming a nation of people with stupid names. When was the last time you met a black child named Calvin or Michelle? When was the last time you met a white child named Marie or Gretchen? No, it's always Quashandria or Calliope or DaMarr or Kylissa or something even more meaningless and stupid!

For the love of Pete, folks -- name your kids something decent, huh?

[Xenalyte]

When was the last time you met a white child named Marie or Gretchen?

Xena's little sis is a Gretchen, married to a Michael, with a daughter named Abigail. All nice and traditional, and easy to spell. (Although XLS one time was issued a prescription for "Gertrude.")

[Paradox]

For the love of Pete, folks -- name your kids something decent, huh?

Now THIS is the rant of the day, simply AWESOME!

[blondatheart]

I named my daughter Dorothy Norene. I named her after my grandmother, who is 72. My daughter is 5 and just matches her name. I love traditional names. Not the made up crap!

[Wordsmith]

Saints and ancestors are the only acceptable names for white and black children

I agree, as does my wife (we're a white/black couple), although we also got a little creative. Our 3 boys all have classical names, mostly in honor of saints:

Lysander Gabriel (Lysander from Shakespeare, Greek for "liberator")

Dmitri Seraphim (Dmitri a Russian form of St. Demetrious of Greece, Seraphim after St. Seraphim of Sarov, in honor of the angels)

Aidan Youssou (Celtic St. Aidan of Lindisfarne, Youssou being a West African form of Yusef, or Joseph)

[A_perfect_lady]

This crap has gone too far. We are becoming a nation of people with stupid names.

I'm with you. My names of choice are Anne, Jane, and Mary for girls, Max, Jack, and Zach for boys.

[visualops]

I once saw a routine by a black comedian, can't remember his name, who did a routine on black folks naming their kids silly names that sound like car models. It was priceless.