I am completely swamped with work right now, so I'll post later on if I can.
If not, I'll be back in the morning! :)
I'm single and don't answer to anyone so I can't really relate with having to deal with a spouse/steady and the whole online relationship thing. I flew to Cleveland last year to meet people I met online. I was never nervous because we had formed tight friendships already. And it was for an online game we did, not a "20-something general chat" board or something like that where all they are looking for is who to have sex with next. Different forums draw different types of people and I would totally feel at ease with people on here and hopefully your spouses will see that too.