HA! That one got me. ;^)
This was on one of those papers that fell out of the book that Gandalf picked up in Balin's Tomb:
"Never forget that House Midgets are people too, and despite their reputation for lascivious debauchery and underworld antics, they, like the rest of us, harbor strong desires for self-improvement, no matter how vain or misguided.
The new Swinburne Midget Biggener carries no guarantee of increase in height, but it will keep your own Domestic Dwarf harmlessly occupied in imagined self-betterment and out of mischief for many hours of the day."