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Irreverent Road Sign Messages
Self | November 8, 2002 | PJ-Comix

Posted on 11/08/2002 5:06:55 AM PST by PJ-Comix

Believe it or not, I am EXTREMELY lucky to even be here this morning to post on the FR. Actually I am very lucky to even be in this world. Why? Last night an IDIOT trucker hauling a load of cars and minivans, almost cause me to fatally crash. What happened was that I was on I-95 driving south around 10:45 PM last night here in South Florida when suddenly that truck smacked into the side of my car when he foolishly tried to change lanes too quickly. He had plenty of room in front or behind me but for some stupid reason (fatigue?) he started changing lanes right into my car. It happened very quickly and the MORON continued changing lanes from the lane to my left, into my car even after the sound of banging metal started. I was basically shoved into the lane to my right and LUCKILY there were no cars there so a big crash was averted.

The trucker kept on his merry way and after my initial shock I sped up to take down his license number. As I did so I noticed, that despite his heavy load of cars and minivans, he was going over 70 MPH and was weaving a lot. I called 911 and gave them the trucker's license # in order to get that IDIOT off the road.

I then pulled off the highway to check the damage. To my surprise the only damage to the car was a bit of metal grinding on the side of my rear view mirror on the door. Also, because my drivers side window won't roll up or down, I assume that the side window was shoved against the window and caused it to go off-track.

Anyway, I don't know if that trucker was drunk, on drugs, or merely fatigued. I don't know about the first two but if the trucker was fatigued, I think I know of one small way to combat driver fatigue on I-95.

Here is my suggestion. Right now they are erecting lots of electronic road signs over the highway. Currently they just have test messages but in the future they will have let the drivers know about road conditions. What I suggest is that when the road conditions are good that instead of just saying "Road Conditions Good" I think the electronic highway signs should also post quirky but FUNNY messages in order to keep drivers alert.

Here are some of my examples of the quirky funny messages for the electronic road signs:

A Bird In The Hand Is Messier Than Two In The Bush

He Who Laughs Last Was Too Dumb To Figure Out The Joke First

The Early Bird Gets The Early Worm

Redundancy Can Be Quite Catchy As Well As Contagious

If these messages are posted then drivers would pay attention to them and at least be a bit more alert on the roads. Another benefit is that it would provide some fun for tourists visiting Florida and gives them another incentive to come down here. Of course, when road conditions are bad, that information would be posted but when things are clear the signs would revert to the quirky funny messages. After my experience last night I think it is VERY important to keep drivers alert and these type of signs would be very helpful. Oh, and the funny messages would have to be constantly updated so the drivers won't become bored by reading recycled messages.

I have also have a selfish motive for making this suggestion since the life I save by keeping drivers more alert might be my own. But it could also be yours....


TOPICS: Chit/Chat
KEYWORDS: highwaysafety
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What do you all think of this suggestion? Our own summer here on the FR seems to have the attention of JEB! since apparently he monitors this forum and is well aware of the incredible support that summer has given him here. So if JEB! ever asks you for suggestions about improving the state, summer, perhaps you might consider passing this along. It doesn't really cost any extra money (I'll even write up a bunch of messages for free) and it could do a lot of good in terms of driver alertness and giving some good publicity to Florida.
1 posted on 11/08/2002 5:06:55 AM PST by PJ-Comix
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To: summer
FYI
2 posted on 11/08/2002 5:07:43 AM PST by PJ-Comix
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To: PJ-Comix
Key word: Florida.
there is no hope.
3 posted on 11/08/2002 5:12:17 AM PST by camle
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To: camle
Another highway sign message suggestion:

People Own Dogs
But Cats Own People

Post your electronic road sign suggestions here. But remember, they must be both funny and quirkly. The purpose is to keep drivers alert.

4 posted on 11/08/2002 5:20:48 AM PST by PJ-Comix
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To: PJ-Comix
so I reckon that:
"Abandon hope all ye who enter"
is out of the question?

hows about:
"Florida - vote early and often."
5 posted on 11/08/2002 5:23:26 AM PST by camle
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To: camle
so I reckon that: "Abandon hope all ye who enter" is out of the question?

Yup! Too downbeat.

hows about: "Florida - vote early and often."

Too political. Remember these signs are on public highways. The messages should be both funny and quirky so as to grab the attention of drivers. Each electronic sign should have a separate message so the drivers have something to look forward to as they continue driving down the highway. The key here is to keep drivers ALERT.

But continue making messages suggestions. You'll get the hang of it.

6 posted on 11/08/2002 5:28:47 AM PST by PJ-Comix
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To: camle
Oh, and speaking of irreverent, here is a suggested message:

A Person With No Sense Of Humor
Is one Who Confuses The Irreverent With The Irrelevant

Maybe not everybody would understand that message at first but at least it would make them think....and stay ALERT!

7 posted on 11/08/2002 5:31:09 AM PST by PJ-Comix
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To: PJ-Comix
OK, I'll try again;

"Welcome to Florida!
if you want to see something funny,
watch our elections"
8 posted on 11/08/2002 5:31:43 AM PST by camle
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To: PJ-Comix
hows about:

"ooliphant isn't really an elephant -
she's a jackass"
9 posted on 11/08/2002 5:32:25 AM PST by camle
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To: camle
"Welcome to Florida! if you want to see something funny, watch our elections"

Not bad but, remember, we want to BOOST Florida down here. However, you're on the right track. Think up another "Welcome To Florida" message with a different punchline. How about this?

Welcome To Florida
aka "Baja Canada"

10 posted on 11/08/2002 5:35:05 AM PST by PJ-Comix
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To: camle
"ooliphant isn't really an elephant - she's a jackass"

Too political. BTW, I am NOT kidding about funny road sign messages to keep drivers alert. If it saves just ONE life (and after last night's experience it could be mine) then it is well worth it. Also I think it would make for GREAT publicity for Florida.

p.s. Messages should be quirky and funny, NOT corny otherwise drivers will get sick of them.

11 posted on 11/08/2002 5:37:32 AM PST by PJ-Comix
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To: PJ-Comix
"Welcome to Florida
where women are Janet Reno
and men are lonely"
12 posted on 11/08/2002 5:42:18 AM PST by camle
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To: camle
"Welcome to Florida where women are Janet Reno and men are lonely"

Sigh! I know you can do a non-political message. Give it a try. How about this:

Welcome To Florida
South Of The South

13 posted on 11/08/2002 5:50:12 AM PST by PJ-Comix
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To: PJ-Comix
Ok, hows about:

"Be nice to the locals-
it ain't easy being the southbound end
of a northbound horse"?
14 posted on 11/08/2002 5:51:50 AM PST by camle
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To: camle
Or This:

Florida's Four Seasons---
---Late Spring, Early Summer,
Late Summer, Early Fall

15 posted on 11/08/2002 5:52:16 AM PST by PJ-Comix
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To: PJ-Comix
OK, I'll calm down a bit (just a bit, mind you!)
"Florida:
home to 10,000 alligators
and one Mouse"
16 posted on 11/08/2002 5:53:32 AM PST by camle
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To: camle
"Be nice to the locals- it ain't easy being the southbound end of a northbound horse"?

You're getting closer, but remember, since these are public signs, they can't be too risque.

17 posted on 11/08/2002 5:53:43 AM PST by PJ-Comix
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To: camle
"Florida: home to 10,000 alligators and one Mouse"

That I like!

18 posted on 11/08/2002 5:54:40 AM PST by PJ-Comix
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To: PJ-Comix
if ya don't want risque, stay out of fla, home of the wild truckers! (are you SURE it wasn't reno?)
19 posted on 11/08/2002 5:54:55 AM PST by camle
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To: PJ-Comix
just send royalties...
20 posted on 11/08/2002 5:55:15 AM PST by camle
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