Posted on 10/30/2002 7:35:01 AM PST by sam_paine
I'd like to hear your early voting horror stories!
Reverse order is apporpriate here:
MACHINERY: The new machines have a large LCD display...but not a touch screen. They have a roller/selector wheel and a few control buttons. This is a usable and easy to understand user interface...IT IS ALSO OF COURSE UNLIKE ANY OTHER WIDELY UNDERSTOOD USER INTERFACE ON THE MARKET TODAY!!! Instead of choosing something like an ATM, or Palm Pilot, or Cell Phone or Mouse/touchpad...government was bound to pick something entirely different! The closest thing anyone might be familiar with is selecting your high-score initials with a Centipede roller-ball and fire button...but I digress.
The point is, I counted 6 voting "eSlates," a badge/name sticker printer, and a Dell Inspiron Laptop networking all the machines together. In all, there had to be $10,000 worth of stuff...and where was my vote stored? On the HDD of the Dell?
I can guarantee that I have the least confidence of my vote being counted today than EVER before...even when I knew there were only Dem poll workers in my precinct. The new rush to electronic voting is a bad freakin idea.
POLL WORKERS: These are the people that actually can't find the "ANY KEY" on the keyboard. And I, an electrical engineer in the PC business for 15 years, am being forced to endure a training session on how to vote with the sample machine by a someone that taps on the machine to make it hurry. And his training demo consisted of "britney spears vs. bruce willis" for governor. Really. Not one name on the sample ballot had anything to do with anything other than pop culture. So you get your nametag and passcode and off you go to vote at a booth. I will admit that it's fast, and at the end it presents you with a summary page of how you want to vote. At this point, I'd LOVE to have it print me a nice official ballot with all those selections that I could slide in the old ballot box...but no. It shows me an animated US flag and sez thanks for voting. DID I REALLY?
VOTERS: There was a nice old farmer-Jones behind me who seemed astonished by the newfangledcomputermachinery. I said I wished I hadn't bought all this junk with my taxes and he said "me too, I liked them paper ballots just fine." Might he be inimidated by this next time? Maybe. Old men-folk don't like to be embarrassed by young punk kids with technology. Then there was the quality voter in front of me: A red-eyed pair of torn jean derelicts, whom you'd think were dressed like construction workers if not for the fact that it was 10AM and they would've been working if they were employed. One, laughing about being in the beer aisle said, "That Barrie, uh, Gonzalie Bariento. That guy that drinks, man, he's got my vote!! I mentioned loudly, "Before you do that, did you know that he was also one of the primary supporters of the new Open Container Ban?" And he said, "Oh, well, then scratch that guy!"
Oh God. The Republic is lost...and we won't even have the paper ballots to prove it.
1. I voted on the spur of the moment, because an errand took me near the polling place. I didn't have my voter registration card. No problemo. My name was on the rolls, so my Texas driver's license was accepted. Yes, it's convenient. No, I don't think automatically registering someone to vote when they get a driver's license is a good idea.
2. The elderly lady ahead of me in the line had a mild conniption when the voting assistant pushed three ballots toward her on the table and said "Take your pick."
"Are they different?" she asked.
"Nope," the clerk replied sheepishly.
"So, why give me three?"
"You can't have three. These are all the same. They're identical."
"I can't have three, but you give me three? What's the matter with you?"
"State law," the clerk said. "I can't hand you a ballot. It's illegal. So I put three of them out there and you have to pick up one on your own volition."
The elderly voter picked up a ballot and wandered off muttering imprecations against lawyers and legislators.
"Why don't you pass out blind folds?" I asked.
The clerk cackled and pushed three ballots toward me across the table top.
3. Big, big goof happened while I was there. While voting, I hear a man in line say, "I'm a Democrat! Where's my ballot box??"
All the assistant clerks jerked up their heads. He might as well have asked for a porta-potty. Seeing their confusion, he pointed to the ballot box.
"See there? It's labeled 'Republican.' Where's the one labelled 'Democrat?'"
During primary elections, there is indeed a separate ballot box for Democratic ballots and Republican ballots. The dingdongs just plopped down a ballot box, without noticing that it bore a neatly printed piece of paper with the word REPUBLICAN on it, affixed to the box under the slot with a swatch of clear plastic tape.
So, now I'm waiting to find out if the local Dims decide to invalidate all the early voting. [sigh]
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