A 'Marriage Strike' Emerges As Men Decide Not To Risk Loss

The Philadelphia Inquirer ^ | July 5, 2002 | Glenn Sacks and Dianna Thompson

[independentmind]

I do understand the anguish of some of the posters. I also understand (it was pointed out to me in great detail a few months ago) how unfairly some men are treated in divorce court. I really have to wonder, though, about the claim that men, in general, are more adversely affected by divorce than women.

What concerns me is that some of the positions advocated by men's rights movement will actually be even more destructive to marriage and children than the current arrangement.

[CDHart]

"I am completely embarassed at today's wives and the complete lack of scruples they possess."

You're right.

Carolyn

[Jhoffa_]

What concerns me is that some of the positions advocated by men's rights movement will actually be even more destructive to marriage and children than the current arrangement.

What, like fairness and equality before the law?

Oh yeah.. That's awful.

[buccaneer81]

What concerns me is that some of the positions advocated by men's rights movement will actually be even more destructive to marriage and children than the current arrangement.

IMHO, that's not possible. First, ditch all the no-fault divorce laws. That will solve 80% of the problems we're discussing here. You cheat on your spouse, you get squat. Sounds harsh? That's the idea. If Mom and Dad are both parent of the year and Mom has a proven affair, then Mom leaves without the children, the house and the cash. You play, you pay. Any guesses on the divorce rate under such a scenario?

[independentmind]

Fairness and equality before the law are fine ideas, but do you really think they are relevant to the subject of marriage? Do you perceive marriage to be only a contract which can be broken when it no longer satisfies either partner? Isn't marriage more about giving than getting?

[independentmind]

First, ditch all the no-fault divorce laws. That will solve 80% of the problems we're discussing here. You cheat on your spouse, you get squat. Sounds harsh? That's the idea. If Mom and Dad are both parent of the year and Mom has a proven affair, then Mom leaves without the children, the house and the cash. You play, you pay. Any guesses on the divorce rate under such a scenario?

No guesses, but I completely agree.

[FITZ]

because the women I've seen just don't have the ability to love or to be trusted.

You should start seeing another kind of woman. Maybe you're looking in the wrong places.

[philomath]

What concerns me is that some of the positions advocated by men's rights movement will actually be even more destructive to marriage and children than the current arrangement

please expound.
i would think that throwing more light on the male perspective would strenthen initiatives to encourage more fathers to accept social and financial responsibility for their children, both by law and social pressure.

[Savage Beast]

Now, Chem, you shouldn't be hanging around with such a bunch of degenerates.

[independentmind]

You should start seeing another kind of woman.

Yes, but they won't listen to us. Hmmm, maybe that's part of the problem.:)

[Jhoffa_]

Fairness and equality before the law are fine ideas, but do you really think they are relevant to the subject of marriage?

In society marriage is a contract. So yes, I do think little things like "fairness" and "equality" matter a great deal.

I bet you wouldn't argue that these things don't matter in your rental contract.

[Chemnitz]

No kidding.

[happytobealive]

I have a question:

I have a good male friend who has continually talked for the last 7 years about how profoundly selfish his ex-wife is -- and he's right. However, when I point out that this woman's grotesque selfcenteredness never would have escaped his noticed if he hadn't been looking at her through the hormone colored glasses he put on when he started shacking up with her, he says I'm crazy, and he's back to square one trying to bed all his dates.

How can someone fail to see something so obvious?

How do I break through to him?

[independentmind]

You are darn right that I think they are relevant to a business contract. The point is that marriage doesn't work like a business contract.

[Jhoffa_]

Isn't marriage more about giving than getting?

Well if that were the case then we wouldn't have this thread.

It's all about one sex getting way more than they are entitled to and the other sex "Whining" about it.. Remember?

[Melas]

Okay, well regardless I hope we can agree about the unrealistic expectations people may have when measuring marriage in reality against what is portrayed in the media. (and when you start talking about single parent homes you toss out another standard right there..)

PS: Congratulations on your marriage. May it last till death do you part.

No doubt in my mind. The entertainment industry is built around the beautiful people. If you let that go to your head, you're going to be dissapointed your whole life. I would love to live in the "Friends" universe where my house stayed spotless, but no one ever did housework. Or where everyone spent more time in the coffee shop than they did at work.

Then again the movie universe where all the middle aged women look like Sharon Stone and Rene Russo ain't bad either.

Don't even get me started on children in the real world compared to the cute little suckers on TV.

Thank you. I'm sure it will be till death do us part. Of course when she finds out that I dropped my bicycle off to have $1100 worth of parts put on it, death might come sooner than I hope.

[Jhoffa_]

The point is that marriage doesn't work like a business contract.

So little things like fairness and equality can be dismissed.

Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.

When it's you and your stuff to lose, then you want fairness and equality. But when you stand to benefit it changes to screw justice and equality..

That says allot more about you than you might realize.

[FITZ]

You forgot a big one: what is her relationship with her father? If she doesn't think her father walks on water, beware.

That's probably very true, if a woman doesn't like her father she's not apt to like or trust any man except in rare cases.

[philomath]

How do I break through to him?

wallpaper his house with all the paperwork from his divorce. use any depositions from his ex for the bathroom.....