Miss Rika to Marconi: "Listen, if you don’t hurry up and invent the radio, I’ll NEVER get to listen to Fred Allen…"
The Lone Ranger: "You two men go that way, the rest of you men follow me. Oh, sorry, Miss Rika!"
Miss Rika: "That’s quite all right, Lone, don’t mention i…Tonto, GET YOUR HAND OUT OF THERE!"
Tonto: "Wasn’t hand. Me want reparations."
Suddenly, up rides Bat Masterson, who looks nothing like Gene Barry…
Did you know Ford County and Dodge City lawman William Bartholomew 'Bat' Masterson was born in Henryville, Quebec, Canada, on November 26, 1853 and died at his New York Morning Telegraph desk on October 25, 1921 where he wrote a sports column? Although I remembered reading when I was a kid that he died of a heart attack at a New York radio station, courtesy of what was allegedly Mr. Marconi’s invention. (Yes, I know about Tesla and others, please don’t send me indignant messages, I never said this would be a totally accurate history…)
So Peggy Lee gets to Music Heaven, and finds Jerry Garcia’s still stoned, so she informs Elvis as to whom his daughter married, and the King looks even more stunned than he did back in the 50’s. (Yes, I know that look was supposed to be sexy…)
So Olive Oyl says to Popeye, who although he’s supposed to be a sailorman actually spends all day regurgitating spinach into cans,…
Jack Cassidy, snarling (humourously) at a dumb game show audience who just booed one of his jokes: "Buncha communists!"
Speaking of Jack Cassidy, did you ever see his wife at the time, Shirley Jones, in "The Music Man"? Ever wonder why she looked so yummy in that? Apparently she was pregnant with Shaun Cassidy at the time, but only her wardrobe woman knew about the condition. So when she and Robert Preston (alleged homosectional, sorry about that if you didn’t know) finished their kiss on the bridge, Preston pulled back and said, "What the hell was that?" Apparently our foetus Shaun kicked Mr. Preston in the stomach right through his mom’s uterus. (Yes, you lurking dims, I know it couldn’t have happened because foeti aren’t alive…) But believe me, if your correspondent Argh could’ve gotten anywhere near Shirley’s uterus at about that time, he wouldn’t have kicked!
Oh, sorry, that isn’t Shirley Jones, that’s Shirley Eaton
who got painted gold
by Auric Goldfinger. "Auric Goldfinger"??? "Auric"? Very punny, Mr. Fleming. Hahahah! If you see Elvis, tell him to relax, they’re splitsville now! You call that a name? Well, I suppose "Pussy Galore" is even worse.
So Raquel couldn’t act, but go here to find out why her claque all said: WHO CARES?
OK. Now that I got ‘way off topic I’m awake now. Time to go back to bed.